Difference Between Male and Female Narcissists

In the manifestation of their narcissism, female and male narcissists,
inevitably, do tend to differ. They emphasise different things. They transform
different elements of their personality and of their life into the cornerstones
of
their disorder. They both conform to cultural stereotypes, gender roles, and
social expectations.

Women, for instance, concentrate on their body (as they do in eating
disorders: Anorexia Nervosa and Bulimia Nervosa). They flaunt and exploit their
physical charms, their sexuality, their socially and culturally determined
"femininity". In its extreme form this is known as HPD or the Histrionic
Personality
Disorder.

Many female narcissists secure their Narcissistic Supply through their more
traditional gender roles: the home, children, suitable careers, their husbands
("the wife of..."), their feminine traits, their role in society, etc. It is
no wonder than narcissists - both men and women - are chauvinistically
conservative.

They depend to such an extent on the opinions of people around them - that,
with time, they are transformed into ultra-sensitive seismographs of public
opinion, barometers of prevailing winds and guardians of conformity. Narcissists
cannot afford to seriously alienate those who reflect to them their False
Self. The very proper and on-going functioning of their Ego depends on the
goodwill and the collaboration of their human environment.

Even the self destructive and self defeating behaviours of narcissists
conform to traditional masculine and feminine roles. Besieged and consumed by
pernicious guilt feelings - many a narcissist seek to be punished. The
self-destructive narcissist plays the role of the "bad guy" (or "bad girl").

But even then it is within the traditional socially allocated roles. To
ensure social opprobrium (read: attention, i.e., narcissistic supply), the
narcissist cartoonishly exaggerates these roles. A woman is likely to label
herself a
"whore" and a male narcissist to style himself a "vicious, unrepentant
criminal". Yet, these again are traditional social roles. Men are likely to
emphasise
intellect, power, aggression, money, or social status.

Women are likely to emphasise body, looks, charm, sexuality, feminine
"traits", homemaking, children and childrearing - even as they seek their
masochistic
punishment.

Another difference is in the way they react to treatment. Women are more
likely to resort to therapy because they are more likely to admit to their
psychological problems. But while men may be less inclined to DISCLOSE or to
expose
their problems to others (the macho-man factor) - it does not necessarily imply
that they are less prone to admit it to themselves. Women are also more
likely to ask for help than men. Yet, the prime rule of narcissism must never be
forgotten: the narcissist uses anything available to obtain his (or her)
Narcissistic Supply.

Children happen to be more around the female narcissist because women are
still the primary caregivers and the ones who give birth. It is easier for a
woman to think of her children as her extensions because they once indeed were
her
physical extensions and because her on-going interaction with them is both
more intensive and more extensive. This means that the male narcissist is more
likely to regard his children as a nuisance than as a source of rewarding
Narcissist Supply - especially as they grow older and become autonomous.

Devoid of the diversity of alternatives available to men - the narcissistic
woman fights to maintain her most reliable source of supply: her children.
Through insidious indoctrination, guilt formation, emotional extortion,
deprivation and other psychological mechanisms, she tries to induce in them a
dependence, which cannot be easily unraveled.

But, there is no psychodynamic difference between children as sources of
narcissistic supply - and money, or intellect, or any other Source of
Narcissistic
Supply. So, there is no psychodynamic difference between male and female
narcissists. The only difference is in their choices of sources of narcissistic
supply.

There are mental disorders, which afflict a specific sex more often. This has
to do with hormonal or other physiological dispositions, with social and
cultural conditioning through the socialisation process, and with role
assignment
through the gender differentiation process. None of these seem to be strongly
correlated to the formation of malignant narcissism.

The Narcissistic Personality Disorder (as opposed, for instance, to the
Borderline or the Histrionic Personality Disorders, which afflict women more
than
men) seems to conform to masculine social mores and to the prevailing ethos of
capitalism. Ambition, achievements, hierarchy, ruthlessness, drive are both
social values and narcissistic male traits.

Social thinkers like Lasch speculated that modern American culture - a
narcissistic, self-centred one - increases the rate of incidence of the
Narcissistic
Personality Disorder.

To this Kernberg answered, rightly: "The most I would be willing to say is
that society can make serious psychological abnormalities, which already exist
in some percentage of the population, seem to be at least superficially
appropriate."

DR Irene


Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting
different results.

~ Albert Einstein


Fallen Officer: Kenneth L. Collings
http://hometown.aol.com/azterri/kenny.html


AZTerri
http://profiles.yahoo.com/arizona_terri


End Verbal Abuse Group Leader
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/End_Verbal_Abuse


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