Red Flags of the Narcissist


1. Self-centered. His/her needs are paramount. Everything is "me" and "I."

2. No remorse for mistakes or misdeeds.

3. Unreliable/undependable.

4. Does not care about the consequences of his/her actions.

5. Projects his/her faults on to others. High blaming behavior.

6. Little if any conscience.

7. Insensitive to needs and feelings of others.

8. Has a good front (persona) to impress and exploit others.

9. Low stress tolerance. Easy to anger and rage.

10. People are to be manipulated for his/her needs and "thrills." 

11. Rationalizes easily. Twists conversation to his/her gain at other's
expense. If trapped, keeps talking, changes the subject, or gets angry.

12.  Pathological lying.

13. Tremendous need to control situations, conversations, others.

14. No real values. Mostly situational.

15. Often initially, or to outsiders, perceived as kind, caring, and
understanding or vulnerable and uses this to manipulate and control.

16. Mercurial moods/mood swings.

17. Uses sex to control; to either lure partner, reward partner, or punish
partner. 

18. Does not share ideas, feelings, emotions or only shares negative,
hostile, or belittling ones with partner.

19. Conversation controller. Must have the first and last word.

20. Is very slow to forgive others. Hangs onto resentment.

21. Secret life. Hides money, friends, affairs, and other activities.

22.  Likes to create chaos and disrupt to get attention and have power over.
Plays people against each other.

23. Unpredictable; switches from nice guy/gal to monster without much, if
any, provocation.

24. Repeatedly fails to honor obligations.

25. Seldom expresses appreciation.

26. Grandiose. Convinced he/she is smarter, sexier, better looking, richer,
etc. than others. Knows more than others. Is correct in all he/she does.

27. Lacks ability to see how he/she comes across to others. Defensive when
confronted with his/her behavior. Rarely, if ever, his/her fault.

28. Can get emotional/tearful. This is about show or frustration rather than
sorrow or remorse.

29. Breaks partner's spirit to keep him/her dependent.

30. Uses threats/intimidations to keep others close to him/her.

31. Sabotages partner. Wants him/her to be happy only through him/her and to
have few or no outside interests and acquaintances.

32. Highly contradictory.

33. Convincing. Must persuade people to side with him/her.

34. Hides real self initially or with outsiders. Always “on” until he/she
feels "safe."

35. Kind only if he's/she's getting from you what he/she wants.

36. He/she has to be right. Has to win. Has to look good.

37. He/she tells, not asks.

38. Does not discuss openly/has a hidden agenda.

39. Controls money of others but spends freely on himself, or spends on
others only to impress and gain attention and favors.

40. Unilateral condition of, "I'm OK and justified so I don't need to hear
your position or ideas."

41. Always feels misunderstood, mistreated, or abused.

42. Makes others feel miserable, frustrated, and drained. 

43.  Does not listen because he/she does not care.

44. His/her feelings are discussed, not the partners.

45. Is not interested in problem-solving.

46.  Very good at reading people, so he/she can manipulate them.




Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting
different results.

~ Albert Einstein


Fallen Officer: Kenneth L. Collings
http://hometown.aol.com/azterri/kenny.html


AZTerri
http://profiles.yahoo.com/arizona_terri


End Verbal Abuse Group Leader
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/End_Verbal_Abuse


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