HOW PEOPLE BECOME POWER ABUSERS

From codaplus

Anyone who has power is a potential power abuser, i.e. one who uses power to
harm or deprive others.
The greater the power one has, the easier it is to abuse power and the harder
it is to be stopped.
The easier it is to abuse one's power, the likelier a person is to do so.
Those who have little power cannot well imagine how easy it is for the
powerful to abuse power.
Those who have less power are called dependents or subordinates.
Those who seek to share power responsibly with dependents and subordinates
are called authorities.
Those who seek to hoard power and prevent others from sharing it are called
authoritarians or dominators.
Subordinates are obliged to act inferior around dominators to avoid
confrontations.
Dominators, due to pride, willingly believe that subordinates are inferior
and don't deserve to share power.
When we see others as inferior, we automatically see ourselves as better than
they, which inflates our egos.
Dominators are thus proud to be dominant and dominance gives them a sense of
greater self-esteem.
This false pride is fertile ground for racism, fascism, authoritarianism,
oligarchy and much power abuse.
Healthy relationships with others depend on each being sensitive to the
feelings and concerns of the other.
Dominators fear sensitivity, because it seems to undermine pride, self-image,
self-esteem, or power.
They fear that sensitivity would make them weak or vulnerable to domination
by others.


CO-DEPENDENCE IS FEAR

A co-dependent society is unhealthy and if it does not get into recovery the
disorder can prove fatal.
The disorder of co-dependence is basically one of trauma-based fear.
All negative emotions are based on fear, even anger, which is fear of getting
less than one deserves.
Fear causes anger, confusion, despair, recklessness, not caring about others,
and these can spell disaster.
To get a better sense that co-dependence really is fear, ask yourself if it
makes sense that all of these characteristics of co-dependence [See Schaef's
Co=dependence] could be produced by fear:

Fear [of harm] leads to dishonesty or denial about emotional or relationship
problems in oneself or significant others?
Fear [of feelings] leads to frozen, or distorted, feelings, or confused
thinking?
Fear [of responsibility] leads to selfish, naive, or immature thinking, or
gullibility?
Fear [of change] leads to rigidity, stasis, or holding on to negative
emotions?
Fear [of death] leads to hopelessness, depression, carelessness, or
immorality?
Fear [of worthlessness] leads to self-hate to identifying with others, living
vicariously, or idolizing others?
Fear [of worthlessness] leads to self-doubt to overcaretaking others, or to
putting on a facade to hide behind?
Fear [of abandonment] leads to sympathy seeking by pretended ailments, or
making oneself sick etc?
Fear [of responsibility] leads to over dependence on others?
Fear [of powerlessness] leads to seeking control by obsessive thinking,
grandiosity, perfectionism, negativity, judgmentalism, blaming, projecting one's
faults onto others?
Fear [of pain] leads to eating disorders, or overmedicating?

It can then be asked also if fear leads to the characteristics of Power
Abuse.


HOW WE CO-DEPENDENTS ENDANGER SOCIETY

We co-dependents destroy relationships, institutions and people unwittingly.
Civilization may be on the brink of self-destruction by war and devastating
economic depression.
We co-dependents are primarily to blame for these trends, which may climax
soon.
I'll explain how we seem to do this first, then how we can stop doing it and
hopefully keep society intact.
We destroy in all of the following ways, collectively, not individually.
We must face these facts if we are to change them and heal ourselves and
society.
First, we consistently deny that problems exist in ourselves and others,
because we repress our feelings.
-Can problems be corrected if we deny or fail to see they exist?
2nd, our thinking is confused, selfish, naive, immature and gullible.
-Isn't this a welcome matt for corruption, scams, frauds and other parasitic
power abuse?
3rd, we wish to avoid change; we're rigid, static; we cling to our negative
emotions.
4th, we succumb to hopelessness, negativism, carelessness and immorality.
Immorality is action or inaction that does harm to others.
-Can we end corruption and power abuse if we rigidly avoid change, or give in
to hopelessness about it?
5th, we pretend to be unwell and we make ourselves sick to get sympathy or
advantage.
-Isn't this selfish advantage seeking a basis of corruption?
6th, we doubt or hate ourselves, living through others and putting on false
fronts to hide our "real" selves.
-Can anyone trust us, if we're dishonest, deceptive, or self-hating?
7th, we waste ourselves in obsession, grandiosity, perfectionism, negativity
and judgmentalism.
-If no one behaves realistically, conscientiously, or responsibly, can we
expect society to survive?
8th, we harm or waste ourselves with eating disorders, overmedicating,
risk-taking, gambling, overspending.
How much self-ruinous behavior can exist in society without destroying
society?
9th, in the ways listed above, we accept corruption, abuses and
self-destructiveness in society.
In The Seriousness of the Addictive Process below, I show that 40% of adults
are likely severely irresponsible.
Can a society of corrupt, abusive, self-destructive and greatly irresponsible
people survive?


THE SERIOUSNESS OF THE ADDICTIVE PROCESS

Power abuse is every culture's greatest danger from its own power structure
and from outside powers.
Power abuse is the most tangibly dangerous of the 3 Addictive Process
disorders.
Co-dependence is the most insidious disorder of the 3, which supports power
abuse by denial, dependence, etc.
Addictions are among the more visible symptoms of the societal disorder,
called the Addictive Process.
Substance abuse is most common among power abusers, as it helps numb fears
and guilt.
Most nations are in serious danger from these three disorders of the
Addictive Process.
Fear, greed, jealousy, anger and hatred, especially racism and classism, are
the worst power abuses.
To grasp the harm these disorders inflict on society, think first of the
millions of substance abusers.
There are over 20 million known alcoholics in the U.S. and many more alcohol
abusers.
There are several million other substance abusers, and many more abusers of
medical substances.
More than any are those with eating disorders. These addictions reduce
physical and mental health in the U.S.
Co-dependents number the most of all and they suffer from varying forms and
degrees of fear.
Power abusers probably include over 50% of adults, serious abusers maybe 10%.
Co-dependents include over 90% of adults, of which 30% are probably severe.
Substances abusers, not counting eating disorders, include about 20%, with
10% or more being severe.
Eating disorders, common among co-dependents, amount to about 80%, with about
25% being severe.
The TOTAL of the severe cases is then about 40 to 50%, i.e. about HALF of
adults in the U.S.
10% are power abusers; 10% are substance abusers; 30% are severe
co-dependents.
Eating disorders are common mainly to co-dependents; half of us may have
severe eating disorders.


THE SERIOUSNESS OF POWER ABUSE

The public has gradually accepted the reality that spouse abuse and child
abuse are common.
When these abuses were first reported in the early 80s, they were widely
disbelieved by the public.
People thought: How could there be so much abuse without everyone knowing
about it?
Now we know it's possible, because abusers and victims are often in denial,
or are naive or deceptive.
Power abuse is widespread, and every major field of human endeavor is
corrupted by dominators,
Government, business, health care, science, law, education, and media are
seriously corrupt.
How can society function, if there is so much corruption?
It functions because a majority continue to be fairly responsible and honest.
But among the leaders in each field, there is much greater corruption than in
lower echelons.
The abusers skim their profits off the top, like the mob does, taking in a
few percent.
They know how to keep society functioning despite their thefts, assaults and
manslaughters.
The film, JFK, shows very good evidence of high-level corruption behind the
murder of JFK.
There was corruption in the murder itself and more corruption in covering up
for the real murderers.
Robert Kennedy promised, if elected president in 68, to get to the bottom of
his brother's murder.
He was murdered before the election. Martin Luther King was murdered two
months earlier.
King's family and friends believe the real murderers of King were also
covered up by the government et al.
After Nixon's resignation in 74, Congress investigated the CIA and FBI and
found extensive corruption.
Since leaders of other countries are often corrupt, it should not seem absurd
to think many of our leaders are too.
Suspicion of widespread corruption should not be taken as an excuse for
despair, or fear.
If we look honestly at history, we can see plenty of reason for optimism.


CO-DEPENDENTS MUST STOP "ENABLING" OR ENCOURAGING POWER ABUSE

Nearly everyone suffers from some degree of Co-dependence and Power Abuse.
Substance Abuse often starts as a reaction to those with Co-dependence or
Power Abuse disorders.
Co-dependents are emotionally dependent on or submissive to abusers of power
or substances.
This dependence tends to "enable" or encourage others to act as authorities,
which often leads to power abuse.
All immature authorities tend to become authoritarian, which means power
abusing.
Power abuse is trying to control others by unnecessary force, threat, or
deception.
A common symptom of co-dependence and power abuse is insensitivity, which is
also called denial.
Denial occurs as our fears, or insecurity, move out of our conscious minds
into our subconscious.


WE MUST STOP OUR DENIAL

No nation or society is safe from self-destruction until the Addictive
Process is overcome.
12 Step programs began the process of societal recovery by teaching recovery
from addiction.
Families of addicts later learned to use the same program to recover from
co-dependence.
Society has not yet achieved much recovery from power abuse, especially among
the upper class.
This is because of persistent denial, which is most common among the most
powerful, due to pride.
CodaPlus will try here to help end this denial, so recovery on this front can
begin in earnest.
Nearly everyone who is co-dependent also practices some degree of power
abuse.
We tend to deny this, because we try to maintain an image of niceness.
But most of us try to control others by deception and this is a type of power
abuse.
We also neglect ourselves and others to some degree and this withholding of
power is also power abuse.
Neglecting ourselves includes such simple things as holding on to our fears,
which neglects our mental health.
Such fears prevent us from learning and doing what's responsible and that's
not "nice."
Remember, signs of potential power abuse include frequent insults,
criticisms, or anger, pride, grandiosity, controlling, selfishness, jealousy,
demands,
threats, hatred, and violence.
And remember that actual power abuse is any effort to control others by
unnecessary force, threat, or deception. And how many of us have not been guilty
of
one or more of these behaviors?


WHILE ENDING DENIAL, WATCH FOR FALSE GUILT

It is not power abuse to use power to take care of young kids or others in
need.
Power abuse is unnecessarily depriving anyone of freedom, excitement,
affection, cooperation, knowledge, or other needs.
We need to be aware of the dangers of the Addictive Process, but we also need
to avoid false guilt.
Although power abuse is rampant in society, co-dependence is much more
common.
Ending co-dependence must come first, because co-dependence "enables" power
abuse.
Co-dependents need to learn the difference between false guilt and real
guilt.
We co-dependents must stop tolerating our own abusiveness and then stop
tolerating that of others.
To do this, we must stop denying co-dependence and power abuse in ourselves
and in society.


HOW TO BUILD ENOUGH COURAGE TO TRIUMPH

How much more could we do for good, if we had courage, instead of fear?
Isn't it obvious that courage would help us to triumph in many situations
that otherwise fail?
I stated before that Love is Power; this power is the best source of courage.
This power is by way of supportive friends or loved ones or higher power that
encourages us.
Just being accepted in others' company and being shown respect is largely
what love means in this case.
12 Step meetings, and the like, can provide this kind of respect, which
gradually builds our self-confidence.
One 12 Step member said he was an obedient victim, so when he was told to go
to meetings, he did.
This was one case in which obedience paid off, so be like him and obey good
advice.
But begin relying less on others to make your decisions for you, as you gain
confidence.


HOW TO END POWER ABUSE

Use the 12 Steps to relieve stressful emotions and to end power abuse.
Then carry the 12 Step message to other power abusers who still suffer.
Study literature on Intervention, such as Vernon Johnson's book, I'll Quit
Tomorrow.
CodaPlus will work on getting the best available information on intervening
in power abuse.
Material on spouse abuse, child abuse and violence prevention should be
helpful in the mean time.
Group inventories can also help to end groups' power abuses.



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