Hi Folks!

 

I am so depressed. As a child and younger adult, I endured numerous tragedies and other horrific circumstances and events (just one example: family members attempting/committing suicide). This was primarily but not exclusively due to growing up around alcoholics, drug addicts, and verbal/physical abusers. In other words, I've just about "seen it all." And even if many family members were insensitive to downright cold when any of these experiences traumatized me, still, most strangers (when I felt safe sharing) would lend an ear and demonstrate understanding and compassion.

 

I can say in all honesty that I have been just as traumatized by what CSA/EHRS/GNRP has done to me as  by some of these other experiences; chiefly because these programs were playing psychological games with me for years, preventing me from getting some services that I truly do need, and then lying to others about it - and on top of all of this, no agency I've gone to has done anything about them. Yet, I am having a really challenging time getting people in general to listen, understand, or be sympathetic.

 

For instance, I tried to explain to one social worker that I've had two breakdowns correlated with CSA/EHRS/GNRP. The first one was because Yolanda Flores kept torturing me when it came to paperwork (and others joined in), and the pain and anxiety this caused eventually prevented me from working much so that I was evicted from my home. The second one was because this was permitted to go on.  

 

Ms. Flores insisted that I never applied at her program, I never sent this document, I never told anyone I needed that repair done, etc. and I had copies of everything: a copy of my faxed application (which I also snail mailed to her), a copy of other documents I snail mailed, a copy of the e-mails I sent indicating which repairs I needed, etc. Still, staff behaved as if I was some kind of lunatic or imbecile because of her. It was incredibly distressful and frustrating.

 

Well, this same social worker just gave me a blank stare, cut me off, and uttered two times, "I don't understand how that prevented you from working..." - as if being repeatedly abused and blocked from getting some much needed services over the years was nothing at all. I don't mean this disrespectfully but it's a good thing she's not an abuse counselor as making someone feel invalidated can compound trauma. Even some members of EVA/CoDependents insisted I "talk to a counselor," "get over it," and simply go back to "running the groups the way (I) used to" - when in the past some of these same members would go on about their own situation in posts and they were even seeing counselors at the time.

 

Instead of anyone charging CSA/EHRS/GNRP - there are those people who infer that I am the one with the problem if I am traumatized by all of this and can't just get over it. Amazing...    

 

Terri