Dear Desparate Husband,

You cannot change her, nor can you change what happened to her. She is
unable to be close with you because she is reliving over and over again the
abuse. You cannot fix her. And actually it is you that is codependent
because you are clinging to repairing this woman that is out of your control
to fix.
She needs to repair the damage done to her and the acceptance of the healing
that can happen.

Gods Peace
Julie
On Wed, Mar 5, 2008 at 3:04 PM, Troy and Holly Rider <trollayniam@...>
wrote:

> Hi everybody,
>
> I am a husband living with a codependant. My wife
> suffered sexual abuse for a number of years, we have
> been married for 10 years, and i love her dearly. She
> has shut me out ,will not talk, she tells me she wants
> a seperation, she doesn't love me anymore and she is
> breaking my heart. she has been in therapy for 4.5
> years. I feel like i'm giving and giving but i can't
> even get a hug from her. Things got worse one night
> when we were making love and she looked at me she saw
> her attacker. things haven't been the same since,
> theyve just got worse. I feel like she has giving up
> on us, one minute it's all my fault then the next its
> not me its her. we have to kids ages 7 and 9, they
> know there are problems but they don't need to know.
> Can any body help us, any advice, anything, i am
> having a hard time watching her go through this and
> it's affecting our marriage, I tell her all the time
> if she wants to talk i'm available. her therapyst says
> no matter how much i comfort her until she believes in
> herself it won't help, She has identity issues,low
> self esteem and is currently on medication. I am so
> lost i just want her to be happy. She will not let go
> of her pain,anger and grief.
>
> Desperate husband
>
> LIVE LIKE ITS THE LAST DAY
>
> __________________________________________________________
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> http://www.yahoo.com/r/hs
>
>


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