Forgiving Your Abuser...

If I had to think of a situation that was less conducive to forgiving
another's behavior, it would have to be when a marriage is falling apart. How
can
you possibly be expected to forgive your spouse for cheating, or lying, or
being an abuser? It's too much to ask! Or is it?

Forgiving is an essential element of successful relationships in general
whether it is forgiving your date for being late, forgiving your husband for
not
remembering your birthday, forgiving your boss for not giving you the raise
you deserve, or forgiving your mother for the name she chose for you at
birth.

It's not always easy to forgive. But without the act of forgiving you will
not be able to move past the anger the other person's 'wrong' has produced in
you. Anger may put all your relationships in jeopardy. With enough rage
inside yourself, you can cause damage even to the 'innocent' persons in your
life.
Children, family, friends, new lovers, and spouses. Ever meet someone who
was so bitter and angry you wanted to avoid them like the plague? Don't be one
of those people.

Can there be any doubt that unforgiveness and the resulting anger motivates
a man to stalk and kill his unfaithful wife? Can there be any doubt that
unforgiveness and the resulting anger motivates a woman to destroy her
ex-husband's reputation with lies and innuendo? Can there be any doubt that
unforgiveness and the resulting anger motivates an employee to return to the
workplace
with a rifle...

It's not easy to forgive the pain of betrayal, the pain of abuse, the pain
of loss... Yet, without forgiving, you cannot move forward to new, fresh
relationships.

Forgiving does not mean you will allow your spouse to continue to abuse you,
or cheat on you, or make your life miserable. You don't even have to tell
that person to their face that you forgive them. It means you don't hold onto
your anger or rage anymore at the person. It means you forgive the weakness he
or she is unwilling or unable to control.

Forgiving does not mean you will remain in a bad marriage if your spouse
cannot change his or her behavior.

Forgiving does not mean you must be friends with the woman who slept with
your husband or the man who slept with your wife.

Forgiving does not mean you will continue a friendship with a person who is
mean-spirited toward you.

Forgiving does not mean you won't seek legal recourse against a boss who is
discriminatory.

Forgiving the actions of others helps to remove damaging anger and rage from
within you.

How many times have you wondered if you did all you could to save your
marriage? 'Forgive' yourself for having the courage to leave a situation without
hope.

Forgive for YOUR future.

Take care of yourself.

Lost Source




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