CHARACTERISTICS OF EMOTIONAL MATURITY

"The abuse is the abuser's responsibility. How you choose to deal with it
(cave in, retaliate in kind, go numb, walk out the door...) is your
responsibility."

1. The Ability to Give and Receive Love

Emotional maturity fosters a sense of security which permits vulnerability.
A mature person can show his vulnerability by expressing love and accepting
expressions of love from those who love him. An immature person is unduly
concerned with signs of "weakness" and has difficulty showing and accepting
love.
The egocentricity of immaturity will allow the acceptance of love, but fails
to recognize the needs of others to receive love. They'll take it, but they
won't give it.

2. The Ability to Face Reality and Deal with it

The immature avoid facing reality. Overdue bills, interpersonal problems,
indeed any difficulties which demand character and integrity are avoided and
even denied by the immature. Mature people eagerly face reality knowing the
quickest way to solve a problem is to deal with it promptly. A person's level
of
maturity can be directly related to the degree to which they face their
problems, or avoid their problems. Mature people confront their problems,
immature people avoid their problems.

3. Just as Interested in Giving as Receiving

A mature person's sense of personal security permits him to consider the
needs of others and give from his personal resources, whether money, time, or
effort, to enhance the quality of life of those he loves. They are also able to
allow others to give to them. Balance and maturity go hand in hand.
Immaturity is indicated by being willing to give, but unwilling to receive; or
willing to receive, but unwilling to give.

4. The Capacity to Relate Positively to Life Experiences

A mature person views life experiences as learning experiences and when they
are positive he enjoys and revels in life. When they are negative he accepts
personal responsibility and is confident he can learn from them to improve
his life. When things do not go well he looks for an opportunity to succeed.
The immature person curses the rain while a mature person sells umbrellas.

5. The Ability to Learn from Experience

The ability to face reality and to relate positively to life experiences
derive from the ability to learn from experience. Immature people do not learn
from experience, whether the experience is positive or negative. They act as
if there is no relationship between how they act and the consequences that
occur to them. They view good or bad experiences as being caused by others,
luck, or fate. They do not accept personal responsibility.

6. The Ability to Accept Frustration

When things don't go as anticipated the immature person stamps his feet,
holds his breath, and bemoans his fate. The mature person considers using
another approach or going another direction and moves on with his life.

7. The Ability to Handle Hostility Constructively

When frustrated, the immature person looks for someone to blame. The mature
person looks for a solution. Immature people attack people; mature people
attack problems. The mature person uses his anger as an energy source and, when
frustrated, redoubles his efforts to find solutions to his problems.

Relative Freedom from Tension Symptoms

Immature people feel unloved, avoid reality, are pessimistic about life, get
angry easily, attack the people closest to them when frustrated --- no
wonder they are constantly anxious. The mature person's mature approach to live
imbues him with a relaxed confidence in his ability to get what he wants from
life.


“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us.

We ask ourselves: who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous,
talented and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?

You are a child of God.
Your playing small doesn't serve the world.
There's nothing enlightened about shrinking
so that other people wont feel insecure around you.

We are born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.
Its not just in some of us, it is in everyone." - Marianne Williamson


Fallen Officer Kenneth Collings
_http://hometown.aol.com/azterri/kenny.html_
(http://hometown.aol.com/azterri/kenny.html)






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