Releasing Emotional Abuse
              
Abuse comes in many forms: verbal, physical, mental, sexual, and of course
emotional, which underlies all other types of abuse.

Those who abuse have not come to terms with their own past emotional issues.
Whether it's insecurities they haven't dealt with or the need to maintain
complete control of their world, they will rob you of your freedoms in order to
feel better about themselves. They will attempt to achieve power by lowering
your self-worth because they're threatened by you, or because they don't
understand or respect you. Abusers are weak and have personal limitations they
have
yet not learned to overcome. The less they feel in control the more abusive they
get, as they fall into their own limited emotional states which are usually
outside their conscious awareness.

This is important to know because, while you are the one who is made to feel
inadequate, the abuse you receive seldom has anything to do with you.
Unfortunately, we often carry the scars long after the abuse ended.

Ways people abuse you

Tell lies and half-truths to avoid having to justify actions or ideas
Accuse and blame to divert attention away from them selves
Refuse to take another's point of view and irrationally defend their point of
view
With hold information so the abused will look bad later on ("you should have
known that"). Not sharing information someone is entitled to
Not acknowledging another's feeling
Slighting or taking digs in a non-aggressive or joking manner. Allows the
abuser to say he was just kidding while still being abusive
Changing the subject to divert attention from them selves
Making someone feel worthless in an attempt to lower their self-esteem and
bring them down to the level of the abuser.
Threatening or hinting of physical, mental or sexual abuse
Denying anything is wrong (not being responsible and lying to self)
Inappropriate emotional out bursts (a form of distracting attention,
confusing the abused or shifting blame)
Controlling others to domineer and limit the freedom or expression
Forgetting commitments and promises.
Denying success by placing unreasonable demands, unjustly singling out or
constantly placing someone in the category of a loser.
Taking advantage of ones weakness or using shame, guilt or fear against
another
Manipulating another person against their will
Submissive actions
Cutting some one off so they are not allowed to speak. Suppressing
self-expression.
Eliminating your ability to choose
Inappropriate questions or comments to evoke an emotional response
Humiliating someone in front of others or inappropriately pushing their
buttons
Pretending to understand your concerns, and then disregarding them
Slandering some ones name, reputation, associations or activities


THE LONG TERM EFFECTS OF ABUSE include detachment, isolation, and a feeling
of being unreal or cold to the world. It lowers self-worth and self-esteem.
Past memories may be hazy or entire portions of a persons past may not even be
accessible. Unresolved feelings from past abuse are a major cause of emotional
disorders, including anxiety, panic attacks, stress, depression and OCD.

UNRESOLVED NEGATIVE EMOTIONS AND STRESS have been credited for up to 75% of
all hospital stays. Those who have not come to terms with past abuse,
especially abuse they suffered in childhood, will have a harder time dealing
with
stressful situations in their lives. They'll end up tapping into whatever
negative
emotions they're carrying every time a situation occurs which reminds them of
the abuse they've suffered in the past. Since these reactions happen in the
recesses of the subconscious, they may have no understanding of why they feel
bad.

   
LETTING IT GO
  
Yet we continue to hold on to the pain. Maybe we don't know how to let go or
maybe it's a matter of principle. When you keep trying to make sense of why
this happened, reliving it in your mind over and over again, the suffering
continues.  Some people carry these events for years, maybe even their entire
lives, imprisoned by their own thoughts. If you have the belief you can't let it
go, or that you deserve to feel this way, ask yourself "Am I getting any
positive results from this in my life?" "How long will I choose to suffer from
events
that happened long ago?"

Abuse breeds negative emotions, depleting your body's energy, clouding
clarity of thought, and keeping you from being your best. If you are in an
abusive
environment, get out. That may be a scary thought and your options may look
very limited. This is because the abuser has made you feel that you have no
power, but you do.  You must find your power and move on with your life.


HOW CAN I HEAL? By working with a professional who can assist you in
releasing past negative emotions. First you have to decide that it's really time
for
you to let this go, to take action and to make whatever changes are necessary
to move on with your life.

Our approach is designed in a manor which will allow you to release the
discomfort of old painful memories as easily and effortlessly as possible. If
past
events still trigger anger, frustration, fear, hurt, rejection, shame, guilt,
or other negative emotions, isn't time to let go and to begin living your life
in a way you can imagine it being different, or do you want to continue
feeling bad about yourself forever? Don't you at least deserve the opportunity
to
change?

IF YOU DESIRE TO GET OUT FROM OLD ABUSIVE MEMORIES you first have to decide
it's time to move on. Nothing will change unless you make the decision to
change.   Reach out today.


The distance between insanity and genius is measured only by success.


AZDoc:
http://profiles.yahoo.com/arizona_terri


End Verbal Abuse Group Leader
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/End_Verbal_Abuse








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