A Sample Bill of Personal Rights

These statements will clarify and remind me of my rights as a natural human
being. I was not taught some of these as a child, and can strengthen my belief
in them today. Affirming my personal rights repeatedly will help free me of
old inhibitions and distorted beliefs, and empower me to be firmly assertive
(vs. aggressive or submissive) with others in a clear, positive, respectful way.

It's healthy for me to honor and respect my own rights and needs as much as I
do those of every other person. I can legitimately proclaim and pursue these
rights without shame, guilt, or fear, in any way that doesn't interfere with
other adults’ and kids’ equal rights. I need no one's permission to adopt
and
live from these beliefs.

No matter what my age, experience, or situation, I am a rare, unique,
worthwhile human being - like every other person. I bring a blend of talents,
knowledge, and motives to the world like no other living or dead person. I honor
and
respect my own uniqueness - and that of each other person in my life. I claim
the right to be ME, without explanation, apology, or defense. I am responsible
for being me, at all times. I affirm others' equal right to be their own
unique selves (plural).


I Now Declare My Human Right to...

1) Experience all my own emotions. They are a natural part of being human.
They include fear, sadness, anger, shame, uncertainty, confusion, joy, lust,
hope, pride, happiness, etc. - even "numbness." I am not bad, weak, or wrong for
feeling, and there is no such thing as a "negative" emotion.

2) Describe and/or express my feelings to others if and when I choose to,
without feeling obligated, guilty, or ashamed. I am responsible for this choice
but not for others' reactions.

3) Say "Yes," "No," "I can't," and "I don't know," without undue guilt,
shame, or anxiety - and to be responsible for the consequences.

4) Choose if, when, and how to meet others’ expectations of me. If I choose
not to meet them, I need not feel guilty unless I've clearly committed to do
so. I am responsible for such choices and their consequences.

5) Choose my own friends and acquaintances, and how and when to spend time
with them. I may, but don't have to, justify these choices to others.

6) Make my own mistakes, and learn from and profit by them if I can;

7) Choose if, when, and how to respectfully tell others clearly how their
actions are affecting me - and to take responsibility for doing so.

8) Earn and maintain my own self-respect and pride, rather than depending on
other people's opinions of me.

9) Seek and accept or decline help without undue shame, anxiety, or guilt;

10) Give others the responsibility for their own beliefs, decisions,
feelings, and thoughts, without feeling guilty, anxious, or selfish. Feeling
responsible for other adults often burdens me, and blocks their growing
self-confidence and self-respect.


And I declare my personal right to ...

11) Seek situations, environments, and relationships that I feel are
healthy, growthful, and nurturing for me. I may - but don't have to - explain or
justify these decisions to other people.

12) Be spontaneous, play, and have fun!

13) Develop and grow at my own pace, and in the directions I feel are best
for me. This does not mean I ignore other's similar rights or their well-meant
counsel.

14) Appreciate my own efforts and enjoy my achievements without guilt,
anxiety, or shame. Normal (vs. excessive) pride is not a sin, and never was.

15) Act to fill my own wants and needs rather than demand or expect others
to do so for me;

16) Periods of guilt-free rest, refreshment, reflection, and relaxation.
These are as productive for me as times of work and action.

17) Choose whom I will trust, when, how much, and with what;

18) Take on only as much as I can handle at any given time, and to tell
others if I feel overloaded, without shame, anxiety, or guilt;

19) Nurture, love, and value myself as much as I do others who are special
to me. Being "Self-ish" (attending my own needs and nurturance) is healthy and
good - as long as I don't hinder, minimize, or disrespect other's rights to
care for themselves.

20) Choose the paths and goals I wish for my life, and to pursue them
without guilt, shame, or the need to explain or justify them to others.


And I also claim my unarguable rights to...

21) Take all the time I need to evaluate and make important life-decisions.
If this stresses others, they are responsible for asserting their needs and
I'm responsible for balancing them with mine.

22) Care for my body and spirit lovingly and respectfully, in my own ways.

23) Choose my own priorities and limits, and act on them as I see fit.

24) Distinguish between who other people say I am (or was) and who I really
am.

25) Be heard and clearly understood. My thoughts, feelings, wants, needs,
dreams, and dignity are as valid, worthy, and important as anyone else's.

26) Define excellence in any situation, and to choose if, when, and how to
strive for this standard or not.

27) Choose how to balance and spend my time, and take the short and
long-term consequences;

28) Tell others respectfully what I expect of them, realizing they
legitimately may or may not choose to fulfill these expectations.

29) Choose how and when to peacefully fill my spiritual needs, even if my
choices conflict with others’ values or wishes. I do not have the right to
force
my spiritual or religious views, values, or practices on other people, nor do
I grant others the right to force theirs on me.

And I further affirm my unarguable right to...

30) Heal past personal shamings and wounds, over time, and replace unhealthy
inner beliefs I've lived by with more nurturing and productive ones.

31) Listen to and heed my "inner voices" with interest and respect, and to
sort out my true voices from others I hear.

32) Have my physical, emotional, and spiritual privacy and boundaries
respected by others. I accept my responsibility to respect theirs as well.

33) Ask (vs. demand) of others how they feel about me, what they think about
me, and what they need from me. They may choose to comply or not.

34) Decide if, when, and how to forgive (a) my mistakes and (b) any hurts
received from others. I affirm that forgiveness promotes healing, health,
growth, and peace.

35) Work respectfully and peacefully to change laws, rules, or situations I
feel are unjust or harmful to me and/or others.

36) Evolve and use my Bill of Personal Rights, and learn how this affects me
and others. I affirm others' equal right and opportunity to do the same or
not.

37)
___________________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________________


38)
___________________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________________



Options

Rewrite parts or all of this sample to make it yours. Read each statement out
loud, and reflect: "Do I really believe this (or something like it) now?" If
the answer is "No," or "I'm not sure," get clear on what you do believe. Take
your time. Your set of basic un/conscious beliefs ("rules") shape your daily
choices, relationships, and achievements!

Acknowledge your childhood adults' responsibility to have taught you their
versions of your rights to get you started in life. Then accept your adult
responsibility to decide if what they taught you fits you well, or if you need
to
adopt new standards. When is the right or best time to do this? What if you
don't?

Reread this sample bill and thoughtfully consider whether each of your key
childhood caregivers would agree to each Right. Option: if they're available,
give them a copy of this and discuss it with them.

Read these co-parent affirmations, and compose your own; and browse these
inspirations for guidance and clarity.

Note that changing core beliefs is a second-order (core attitude) change. The
beliefs that shape your daily decisions and actions are held by the subselves
which rule your personality. Forging and consistently acting on your personal
rights is most likely if your Self (capital "S") leads your other subselves.
If you (your ruling subselves) don't believe rights like those above, an
option is to identify which subself holds that belief, and learn what it would
take
for him or her to change it.


More options...

Post this bill somewhere in plain view where you can refresh yourself daily
on what it stands for.

Give a copy of this to each older child and adult in your home and/or
encourage them to evolve their own bill. Respect their right to do so or not.

If you participate in a support or other group (like a church congregation),
consider showing this bill to them and discussing it.

Refer to this bill any time you feel major internal and interpersonal
conflicts to help clarify each person's basic rights as you work together for
win-win
resolutions.

Reflect: why did you read this? Did you get what you needed? Breathe, and
notice how you feel now. If you'd like to feel this way more often, what's in
the
way? Do you know if your true Self is leading your other subselves now?

Lost Source


Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting
different results.

~ Albert Einstein


Fallen Officer: Kenneth L. Collings
http://hometown.aol.com/azterri/kenny.html


AZTerri
http://profiles.yahoo.com/arizona_terri


End Verbal Abuse Group Leader
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/End_Verbal_Abuse


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