20 MALIGNANT NARCISSISTIC PERSONALITY DISORDERS -
HOW MANY DOES YOURS HAVE?

We have used the male gender. Yours could be female.

1. THE PATHOLOGICAL LIAR will lie for no reason. He is skilful and
convincing, and will make up new lies when questioned or his memory fails. He is
self-serving, abusive, evasive and will deny past statements. He will bluff and
threaten.

Defence Strategy: Find a way to verify what he says. Don't tip your hand.
Don't reveal things he will use against you. Don't believe a word he says.

2. THE CONTRACT BREAKER will agree to anything then turn around and do the
opposite. Legal, custody agreements and normal social or personal protocol mean
nothing to him. This con artist will accuse you of being the contract breaker.
Enjoys orchestrating police/legal action and playing the role of the 'poor
me' victim.

Defence Strategy: Expect him to disregard the agreement. Have an effective
Plan B in place. Protect yourself financially and emotionally.

3. THE ACADEMIC OR CORPORTATE HIGH ROLLER This occupationally-successful N
will rise to the top. His family mere props in his success facade. They are
disposable objects at his whim. Often eloquent and intelligent in his field.
This
N often masterfully fakes his abilities and credentials. Very charismatic. He
must be in absolute control. He relies on his intellectual manipulative
ability. He will support, exploit or target others to further his ever-changing
objective.

He ruthlessly abuses the power of his position. His bad judgement has adverse
affects on society. He places others in problem or failure situations. He can
be a vindictive bully in the office. He has no social conscience, often
suspicious and paranoid. Others may support him to further their own objective
but
this wheeler-dealer leaves them holding the bag.

Defence Strategy: Keep your references and resume up to date. Don't get
involved in anything illegal. Document thoroughly to protect yourself. Thwarting
them may backlash with a cascade of retaliation. Educate yourself about
corporate bullies.

4. THE SEXUAL NARCISSIST is often hypersexual (male or female). Pornography,
masturbation, incest are reported by his targets. Anyone, young, old,
male/female, even animals are there for his gratification. This predator takes
what is
available. Can have a preference for 'sado-maso' sexuality. Often easily
bored, he demands increasingly deviant stimulation. However, another behaviour
exists, the one who withholds sex or emotional support.

Defence Strategy: Expect this type to try to degrade you. Get away from him.
Expect him to tell lies about your sexuality to evade exposure of his own.

5. THE BLAME-GAME NARCISSIST never accepts responsibility. He always blames
others. Others must clean up the mess he makes. A master at projection.

Defence Strategy: Learn about projection. Don't take the bait when he blames
you.

6. THE VIOLENT NARCISSIST Wife-Beater, Murderer, Serial Killer, Stalker,
Terrorist. Has a 'chip-on-his-shoulder' attitude. He lashes out and destroys or
uses others as scapegoats for his aggression or revenge. He has poor impulse
control. Fearless and guiltless, he shows bad judgement. He anticipates
betrayal,
humiliation or punishment, imagines rejection and will reject first to 'get
it over with'. He will harass and push even more now to get your reaction. He
will try to make you look out of control. Can become dangerous and
unpredictable He has no remorse or regard for the rights of others.

Defence Strategy: Don't antagonize or tip your hand you're leaving. Ask for
help from the police and shelters.

7. THE CONTROLLER/MANIPULATOR will pit people against each other. Keeps his
allies and targets separated. He is verbally skilful at twisting our words and
actions. He is charismatic and usually gets his way. Often undermines our
support network and discourages us from seeing our family and friends. Money is
often his objective. Other people's money is even better.

He is ruthless, devious and cruel. This control-freak bully places people in
situations where they are dependent on him. Often appears pitiful, confused
and in need of help. We rush in to help him with our finances, assets, and
talents. We may be used as his proxy interacting with others on his behalf as he
sets us up to take the fall or enjoys the performance he is directing.

Defence Strategy: Know the 'nature of the beast'. Facing his failure and
consequences will be his best lesson. Be suspicious of his motives, and avoid
involvement. Don't bail him out.

8. THE SUBSTANCE ABUSER Alcohol, drugs, cannabis, you name it, this N does
it. We see his over-indulgence in food or exercise and his need for instant
gratification.

Defence Strategy: Don't sink to his level. Say No.

9. OUR "SOUL MATE" He is cunning and knows who to select and who to avoid.
This N will come on strong, sweep us off our feet. He seems to have the same
values, interests, goals, philosophies, tastes and habits. He admires our
intellect, ambition, honesty and sincerity. He wants to marry us quickly. He
will
display integrity, and appear helpful, comforting, generous in his
'idealization'
of us phase.

It never lasts. Eventually Jekyll turns into Hyde. His discarded victims
suffer emotional and financial devastation. We end the relationship and salvage
what we can, or we are devalued and discarded quickly as he attaches to his "new
perfect soul mate". He is an opportunistic parasite. Our healing is lengthy.

Defence Strategy: Seek therapy. Learn about this disorder. Know the red flags
of their behaviour, and "If he seems too good to be true..."

10. THE QUIET NARCISSIST is socially withdrawn, often dirty, unkempt. Odd
thinking is observed.

11. THE SADIST is now the fully-unmasked malignant narcissist. We are
psychologically and emotionally traumatized. His objective is often watching us
dangle as he inflicts emotional, physical and verbal cruelty. His enjoyment is
all
too obvious. His pleasure is in the taking, not the owning of other people's
assets. His target: women, children, the elderly, anyone vulnerabie. Often this
coward will not pick on someone his own size.

Defence Strategy: Accept the Jekyll/Hyde reality. Make a "no contact' rule.
Avoid him altogether. End any avenue of vulnerability. Don't allow thoughts of
his past 'good guy' image to lessen the reality of his disorder.

12. THE RAGER will fly off the handle for little or no provocation. Often a
strong disproportionate overreaction to the situation. His child-like emotions
burst forth in a tantrum. His rage is intimidating. He wants control and our
compliance. In our hurt and mental confusion we struggle to make things right.
Our reaction is his payoff. He seeks both good or bad attention. Even our
fear, crying, yelling, screaming, name calling, hatred he enjoys. Any attention
is
better than none. He likes to be hated even by society. If he can get
attention by his cruelty he will do so.

Defence Strategy: Don't take the bait of his verbal abuse. Expect emotional
hurt. Don't rage back. Violence is possible.

13. THE BRAINWASHER is a charismatic. He targets groups to achieve his goal
of manipulation, status, control, compliance, money, attention. Often found in
religion and politics. He masterfully targets the naive, vulnerable,
uneducated or mentally weak. Defence Strategy. Learn about brainwashing
techniques.
Listen to your gut instinct. Avoid them.

14. THE RISK-TAKING THRILL-SEEKER never learns from his past follies and bad
judgment. Poor impulse control is a hallmark.

Defence Strategy: Don't get involved. Use your own good judgement. Say No.

15. THE PARANOID NARCISSIST is suspicious of everything usually for no
reason. Terrified of exposure and may be dangerous if threat of exposure is
imminent. Suddenly ends relationships if he imagines or anticipates abandonment.

Defence Strategy: Give him no reason to be suspicious of you. Expect it. Let
some things slide. Protect yourself if you anticipate violence.

16. THE IMAGE MAKER will flaunt his 'toys', his children, his wife, his
credentials and accomplishments. Admiration, attention, even glances from
others,
our envy or our fear are his goals. He can never have enough. We see his false
mask of arrogance and haughty strut as he demands center stage. He will alter
his masks at will to appear pitiful, inept, solicitous, concerned. He falsely
portrays himself to be the perfect father, husband, friend.

Defence Strategy: Ignore his childlike behaviours. Know his payoff is
attention or abusing others.

17. THE EMOTIONAL VACUUM Perhaps the cruellest blow of all. We learn he has
no emotions, no empathy. He has deceived us by his cunning ability to mimic
human emotions. Emotionally he is small child. We are left numbed by the
realization. It is incomprehensible and painful. We now remember times we saw
his cold
vacant eyes and when he showed odd reactions to situations. Those closest to
him are objectified and expendable.

Defence Strategy: Face the reality. They deceive even trained professionals.

18. THE SAINT proclaims his high moral standing. He sees others as immoral.
He wants justice for society. "Hang 'em high" he says about the murderer on the
6:00 news. This hypocrite lies, cheats, schemes, corrupts, abuses, deceives,
controls, manipulates and torments while portraying himself to be highly
moral.

Defence Strategy: Learn the red flags of behaviour. Be suspicious of people
claiming such high morals.

19. THE CALLING-CARD NARCISSIST forewarns his targets. Early in the
relationship he will laugh, grin and say "You need to protect yourself around
me" or
"Watch out, you never know what I'm up to." We laugh along with him and
misinterpret his words. Years later, coping with the devastation he's left
behind, his
victims recall the chilling warning.

Defence Strategy: Know these red flags and be suspicious of the intentions of
others.

20. THE PENITENT NARCISSIST says "I've behaved horribly, I'll change, I
should have listened to you, I love you, I'll go for therapy" We learn his words
are verbal hooks. He knows our vulnerabilities and what buttons to push. The
sincerity of his words and actions appear convincing. We question our judgement
about his disorder. We can disregard "Fool me once..." We hope for change and
minimize past abuse. This N will enjoy his second reign of terror even more if
we allow him back in our lives.

Defence Strategy: Expect this. Self-enforce a "No Contact" rule. Focus on the
reality of his disorder. Keep reminders of past abuse. Join a support group.
Enjoy life free of the Narcissist!!









Girl, Interrupted...

<A HREF="http://profiles.yahoo.com/arizona_terri">AZFae</A>
http://profiles.yahoo.com/arizona_terri


<A HREF="http://hometown.aol.com/azterri/">EVA Homesite</A>
http://hometown.aol.com/azterri/


<A HREF="http://groups.yahoo.com/group/End_Verbal_Abuse/">Yahoo! Groups :
End_Verbal_Abuse Volunteer Group Leader</A>
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/End_Verbal_Abuse


<A HREF="http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Codependents/">Yahoo! Groups :
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