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Hello Everyone -
>>
>>It has been TOO MANY years that we have all gotten together and had some
>>fun, laughs, and just hung out and shared stories.  John and I would
like
>>to host a campout / get together in August at our home in Newburg, WI
>>which is on an 87 acre farm on the Milwaukee River.
>>
>>Please indicate your availability or preference with a yes or no next to
>>the dates:
>>
>>____Saturday - Sunday, August 18 & 19th, 2007
>>____Saturday - Sunday, August 25th & 26th, 2007
>>
>>After a date has been established by majority vote, we'll be providing
>>further details.  For those that do not camp a list of hotels in the
area
>>will be provided.
>>
>>Please respond by Saturday, July 14th with your interest and we can go
>>from there.
>>
>>We are looking forward to reconnecting with everyone again and reviving
>>the spirit of so many former campouts and sleepovers of the late 90s -
>>early 2000s.
>>
>>Please forward this to some of the old and new HIV+ people that you
are in
>>contact with and have them contact me with their interest and
>>availability.
>>Our best,
>>
>>John (Medx), Sonja and Liam (our almost 3 year old son)

Please contact me, Sonja, if you're interested at
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Glutathione levels correspond to poor survival of AIDS patients


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This article will demonstrate to you why Glutathione is so important
to your health and well-being.


Glutathione (pronounced 'gloota-thigh-own') is the body's essential
health ABC's - Antioxidant, Blood Booster and Cell Detoxifer.


It is a tripeptide composed of glutamic, cysteine and glycine.
Glutathione is found in all cells in the body, including the bile,
the epithelial lining fluid of the lungs, and - at much smaller
concentrations - in the blood.


Glutathione is the smallest intracellular non-protein thiol
(molecule containing an S_H or sulfhydryl group) molecule in the
cells.  This characteristic emphasizes its potent antioxidant action
and supports a multifaceted thiol exchange system, which regulates
cell activity.


This small protein, produced naturally in the body, maintains these
three crucial protective functions. In fact, your life depends on
glutathione.  Without it, your cells would disintegarate from
unrestrained oxidation, your body would have little resistance to
metabolic acids, and your liver would shrivel up from the eventual
accumulation of acidic toxins.


Glutathione is not yet a household word.  Even some medical and
holistic doctors who have heard the term may still have only a vague
idea of what it is.  However, everyone will soon be talking about
this critical non-nutritive substance.


There was a time when only scientists had heard of cholesterol and
vitamins, but today, everyone knows about them.  Now the
magnificence of glutathione is becoming known.


In the last five years, over 25,000 medical articles about this
substance have been published, and the scientific understanding of
glutathione is gradually becoming common knowledge.


Each and every cell in the body is responsible for its own supply of
glutathione and must have the necessary raw materals in order to
produce it. Glutathione is always in great demand and is rapidly
consumed when we experience any sort of emotional or physical
stress, fatigue and even moderate exercise.


Some well-known causes of glutathione depletion are as follows:


1)  Aidic lifestyle and diet
2)  Air and Water pollution
3)  Prescription and recreational drugs
4)  Ultraviolet and Radiation from cells phones, computers,
electrical cars, power lines, hair dryers, etc.
5)  Emotional and physical stress
6)  Injury, trauma or burns
7)  Heavy metals
8)  Cigarette smoke
9)  Household chemicals
10) Acetaminophen poisoning
11) Exhaust from motor vehicles
12) Septic shock
All of these above factors lead to a build up of acidic toxins that
cause
the loss of glutathione as a non-nutritive buffer leading to
cellular aging,
disease and finally death.


Why is Glutathione Essential to Health?


Glutathione's three major roles in the body are summarized by the
letters A-B-C.


- Anti-oxidant
- Blood Booster
- Cell Detoxifier


These are the three critical processes driven by glutathione.


The Master Antioxidant


Over the past thirty years, researchers have explored the role of
antioxidants in good health as well as the treatment and prevention
of diseases involving oxidation or fermentation by metabolic acids.


Well known and widely used antioxidants such as vitamin A, vitamin E
and selenium neutralize acid.  They occur naturally in nature, but
not in the body. They must be introduced as part of a balanced diet.


Given the critical role of antioxidants in good health, it is not
surprising that the body itself manufactures its own natural
antioxidants. The most important of these is glutathione.  Because
all other antioxidants depend upon the presence of glutathione to
function properly, scientists call it 'the master antioxidant.'


Glutathione binds to toxins, forming a water-soluble complex - which
is ultimately excreted in the urine or bile as waste.


Food for the Blood


Elevated glutathione levels enable the body to produce more white
blood cells.  White blood cells are the body's garbage collectors
and are the most important cells for maintaining sterility of the
body fluids.


Glutathione plays a central role in the proper function of the white
blood cells.  Dr. Bustavo Bounous, a leading glutathione expert,
says, 'The limiting factor in the proper activity of our lymphocytes
(the white blood cells) is the availability of glutathione.'  In
other words, healthy growth and activity of the white blood cells
depends upon glutathione's availability.  Put simply, glutathione
is 'food' for the white blood cells.


Cellular Detoxifier


Whether we know it or not, we are continually inhaling and ingesting
natural and synthetic acidic toxins.  They are unavoidable in these
modern times both in our polluted cities and our poorly engineered
food supplies.  When the body has the health and the nourishment it
needs, it works tirelessly to eliminate acidic toxins and to protect
itself.  But, increasing levels of environmental pollution are
depleting the body's store of glutathione more and more rapidly. Our
main organ of detoxification of acidic waste products is the
lymphatic system and the liver. This is the body's most concentrated
source of glutathione.


Studies show that low glutathione levels lead to poor lymphatic and
liver function, causing more and more acidic toxins to circulate
through the body and resulting in damage to individual cells and
organs.


Medical doctors today routinely use glutathione- promoting drugs to
detoxify victims of certain types of drug overdose.


Glutathione in Natural Medicine


Practitioners of complementary and alternative medicine (CAM) have
long advocated the use of milk thistle for liver problems.  It turns
out that this herb works by modestly elevating glutathione levels.
The mineral selenium also produces subtle elevations in glutathione
by becoming intregarated into the glutathione peroxidase.


Glutathione in Traditional Medicine


Emergency medical doctors, toxicologists and lung and liver
specialists are well acquainted with glutathione's therapeutic
uses.  American physcians seeking ways to raise a patient's
glutathione levels can open the standard Physician's Desk Reference
(PDR) and find two options - the pharmaceutical drugs sold under the
names Parlodex and Mucomyst, and the natural dietary supplement
found in natural foods stores derived from whey protein isolate.


Drugs That Raise Glutathione Levels


Pharmaceutical drugs like Procysteine, OTC, OTX, Glutathione
monoesters and Glutathione diesters have been used to raise
glutathione levels.  However, they all produce side effects and are
unsuitable for long term use.


This pharmaceutical non-nutritive chemical is used to break up mucus
in lung diseases such as cystic fibrosis, chronic bronchitis and
asthma.  It remains the standard treatment for acetaminophen
overdose.


Glutathione in Health and Disease


It is believed that glutathione has an important role to play in the
prevention and treatment of disease. It may in the future be
considered as important to health as an alkaline diet, exercise and
alkaline lifestyle.  Clinical tests show that raised
glutathione levels may address some of the eight major health issues
of our time:


1) Cardiovascular


- Prevents heart disease - Shimizu H, Kiyohara Y, Kitazono T, Kubo M,
Ibayashi S, Fufishima M, Lida M.
Relationship Between Plasma Glutathione Levels and Cardiovascular
Disease in
a Defined Population: The Hisyama Study. Stroke. 2004 Sep; 35
(9):2072-7.
- Prevents stroke - Paterson PG, Juurlink BH.
Nutritional Regulation of Glutathione in Stroke.
Neurtox Res. 1999 Dec; 1(2): 99-112.
- Prevents atherosclerosis - Coppola L, Grassia A, Giunta R.
Glutathione
Improves Hemostatic and Hemorrheological Parameters in
Atherosclerotic
Subject. Drugs Exp. Clin Res 1992
18:493-98


- Reverses artherosclerosis
- Prevents reperfusion injury


2) Cancer


Cancer causing polychlorinated biphenyls (PCBs) have been found to
alter levels of glutathione compounds in experiments, which may
alter the body's resistance to certain types of cancer.


Glutathione deficiencies have been linked to many forms of cancer.


- Prevents cancerous tissue
- Suppresses tumor growth
- Eliminates carcinogen - acids
- Retards oxidative stress
- Prevents wasting disease
- Eases side effects of chemotherapy and radiotherapy


3) Pulmonary


Glutathione is the most efficient free radical (acid) scavenger in
the airways, and dozens of studies have confirmed that free radical
(acid) damage is a primary player in Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary
Disease.  Rahman I, MacNee W. Oxidative Stress and Regulation of
Glutathione in Lung Inflammation. Eur Respir J. 2000 Sep; 16(3):534-
54.


- Breaks up mucus - Rahman I, MacNee W.
Oxidative Stress and Regulation of Glutathione in Lung Inflammation.
Eur
Respir J. 2000 Sep;
16(3):534-54


- Cystic fibrosis - Glutathione neutralized harmful oxidants
introduced into the lungs or those released by cells.  Exotoxins
from bacteria can overload the endobronchial terrain and feed the
fires of acidic inflammation.  This staggering burden increases the
oxidative sensitivity of the CF lung, resulting in further injury of
lung parenchyma.  Data supports evidence of a decrease in the
anitoxidant tri-peptide glutathione (Roum JH, Buhl R, McElvaney NG,
et al.
Systemic Deficiency of Glutathione in Systic Fibrosis. J Appl
Physiol 1993; 75:19-24).


- Asthma
- Chronic bronchitis


- Emphysema - Lamson, David, MD, Grignall, Matthew, ND.  The use of
Nebulized Glutathione in the Treatment of Emphysema: A Case Report.
Altern
Med Review. 5(5);429-431, 2000 Oct.


- Pulmonary fibrosis - Ishii T, Fujishiro M, Nakajima J, Teramoto S,
Ouchi
Y, Matsuse T. Depletion of Glutathion S-Transferase P1 Induces
Apoptosis in
Huamn Lung Fibroblasts. Exp Lung Res. 29(7);523-36, 2003 Oct-Nov.


4) Aging


Glutathione is critically important to our brain as it is one of the
most important brain antioxidants. Glutathione helps preserve brain
tissue by preventing damage from free radicals (acids).


In addition to quenching dangerous acids, glutathione also acts to
recycle vitamin E which also has the ability to reduce acidity in
the brain. (Perlmutter D., BrainRecovery.com July 2004, 5th ed:13)


- Autism - Medical literature documents that an out-fection can lead
to a lowering of glutathione which participates in detoxification,
interacts with metallothioneins, and supports many crucial aspects
of immunity.   A link between glutathione and autism regression may
derive from the fact that transient or chronic intestinal problems
can impair an infant's or toddler's
nutritional status, thereby minimizing the levels of amino-acids
required for the production of glutathione (McCandless, J. Children
With Starving Brains. 2003, 2nd ed; 252)


- Parkinson's Disease - Glutathione helps to preserve brain tissue
by preventing damage from free radicals (acids) and destructive
chemicals formed by the normal processes of metabolism, toxic
elements in the environment, and as a normal response of the body to
challenges by acidic agents or other stresses.  With the
understanding that glutathione is important for brain protection and
that this protection many be lacking in the brains of Parkinson's
clients due to glutathione deficiency, it can be seen as very
beneficial.
(Di Monte DA, Cahn P, Sandy MS. Glutathione in Parkinson's Disease:
A Link
Between Oxidative Stress and Mitochondrial Damage?
An Neurol. 32 Suppl; S111-115, 1992.)


- Alzheimer's Dis-ease - Woltjer, R.L., Hgheim W., Maezawa I.,
Vaisar T,
Montine K.S., Montine T.J., Role of Glutathione in Intracellular
Amyloid-Alpha Recursor Protein/Carboxy- Terminal Fragment
Aggregation and
Associated Cytotoxicity. J Neurochem. 2005 May; 93 (4): 1047-56.


- Huntington's DisEase - Choo Y.S., Mao Z, Johnson GV, Lesort M.
Increased
Glutathione Levels In Cortical Striatal Mitochondria of the
R6/2 Huntington's Disease Mouse Model.
Neuroscience Letter. 2005 Sep 23; 386(1): 63-8.


- Multiple Sclerosis - Calabrese V, Scapaginini G, Ravagna A, Bella
R,
Butterfield DA, Calvani M, Pennisi G, Giuffrida Stella AM.
Disruption of
Thiol Homeostasis and Nitrostative Stress in the Cerebrospinal Fluid
of
Patients with Active Multiple Sclerosis: Evidence for a Protective
Role of
Acetylcarnitine. 2003 Sep; 28(9):
1321-8. Mann CL, Davies MB, Aldersea J,
Fryer AA, Jones PK, Ko Ko C, Young C,
Strange RC, Hawkins CP. Glutathione
S-Transferase Polymorphisms in MS:
Their Relationship to Disability. Neurology.
2000 Feb 8;54(3):542-7.


- ALS - Tohgi H, Abe T, Yamazaki K, Murata T, Ishizake E, Isobe C.
Increase
in Oxidized Products and Reduction in Oxidized Glutathione in
Cerborospinal
Fluid From Patients with Sporadic Form of Amyotrophic Lateral
Sclerosis.
Neurosci Lett. 1999 Feb 5; 260(3):204-6.


- Cataract formation
- Macular degeneration
- Cancers of aging
- Prostate problems


- Osteoarthritis - Hammarqvist F, Luo JL, cotgreave IA, Andersson K,
Wernerman J. Skeletal Muscle Glutathione is Depleted In Critically
Ill
Patients. Crit Care Med.
25(1):78-84 1997 Jan.


5) Digestive


- Inflammatory bowel dis-ease
- Hepatitis
- Malnutrition
- Pancratititis
- Peptic ulcer


6) Toxicology


- Detoxifies certain drug overdoses - Acetaminophen has been shown
to reduce glutathione production, thus paving the way for enhanced
brain destruction by metabolic acids. (Perlmutter D. July 2004, 5th
ed:108)


- Detoxifies substances in cigarette smoke and auto exhaust - Rahman
I,
MacNee W.
Lung Glutathione and Oxidative Stress:
Implications In Cigarette Smoke-Induced Airway Disease.  Am J
Physiol. 277(6
Pt 1);1067-88,
1999 Dec.


- Detoxifies pollutants including heavy metals and pesticides -
Elevated glutathione levels have been shown to protect tissue form
lipid peroxidation created by exposure to certain metals.  Consider
infusions of glutathione to relieve the body burden of both
neurotoxins and metal toxicity, including mercury. (Foster, JS.
Kane PC, Speight N. The Detoxx Book. 2002;90)


- Prevents hearing loss from noise pollution
- Detoxifies many well-known carcinogens


7) Immunology


- Anti-viral for AIDS, hepatitis, herpes, etc. - Low glutathione
levels in HIV clients may contribute to their immune deficiency
since glutathione plays an important role in the function of
lymphocytes.  Some lymphocytes require adequate levels of
glutathione in order to function normally, and HIV induces oxidative
stress that depletes the cells of glutathione.
Townsend DM, Tew KD, Tapero H.
The Importance of Glutathione in Human
Disease. Biomed Pharmacother. 2003
May-June;57(3-4):145-55.  Droge W, Holm E.
Role of Cysteine and Glutathione in HIV
Infection and other Diseases Associated with Muscle Wasting and
Immunological Dysfunction.
FASEB J, 11(13):1077-89 1997 Nov.


- Lyme Dis-Ease - Lyme dis-ease is a seriously complex multi-system
acidic inflammatory condition that is triggered by bacterial
exotoxins. Glutathione helps to remove exotoxic and/or mycotoxic
acids by forming a soluble compound with them, which can then be
excreted through the urine or gut. (Can Glutathione Help Lyme
Disease Suffers? Excerpt from: The
Glutathione
Report: Opitmal Health with the Master Antioxidant, Issue 4, Volume
1, May
2004).


- Natural antibiotic


- Chronic fatigue syndrome - An article in the journal of Medical
Hypothesis proposed that glutathione, an anitoxidant essential for
lymphocyte function, may be depleted in Chronic Fatigue Syndrome
patients.  Glutathione is needed for both the immune system and for
aerobic muscular contraction.  The authors proposed that glutathione
depletion by an activated immune system
also causes the muscular fatigue and myalgia associated with Chronic
Fatigue Syndrome (Bounous et al. 1999).


8) Metabolic


- Athletic enhancement
- Decreases recovery time from physical stress
- Supports hemoglobin in kidney failure


- Diabetes - The blood and tissues of diabetics are marked by
critically low glutathione levels. Glutathione depletion may have
adverse consequences in diabetic clients independent of glycemic
control, and it may weaken the defense against oxidative stress. De
Mattia G, Bravi MC, Laurenti
O, Cassone-Faldetta M, Armiento A, Ferri C, Falsano F.  Influence of
Reduced
Glutathione Infusion on Glucose Metabolism in Patients with Non-
insulin
Dependent Diabetes Mellitus. Metabolism.
1998 Aug;47(8):433-8.


Glutathione provides the body with tools to fight off these threats
naturally.  Healthy people also benefit from elevated glutathione
levels through an enhanced ability to fight off acidic toxins, dis-
ease, pre-cancerous cells and the aging process itself.  Diminished
glutathione levels are a symptom of aging and are particularly
evident in such aliments as Parkinson's dis-ease and Alzheimer's dis-
ease.


Glutathione is also important to physically active people. Many
world-class athletes are discovering that well-maintained
glutathione levels gives them the edge over their competitors,
bringing greater strength and endurance, decreased recovery time
from injury, less muscle pain and fatigue, and muscle-promoting
activity.


Putting It All Together


1) Medical science is still ascertaining all the critical roles
played by glutathione in dis-ease resistance and general good
health.  Clinical evidence links low glutathione levels to the most
common illnesses of our time as well as newly emerging dis-eases.


2) As an essential aid to health, glutathione works as the master
antioxidant in our body, optimizes the white blood cells and
detoxifies a long list of pollutants and carcinogens or acids. The
best way to raise glutathione levels is by eating foods that are
high in glutathione such as avocados.
3) Pharmaceutical medicine has created drugs that do this very
effectively. They have their uses in critical situations.  But they
also have side effects and repeated use is clearly inadvisable.
_________________________________________________________


References:


Aging


It is well known that aging is accompanied by a preciptous fall in
gluathione levels.  Lower glutathione levels are implicated in many
dis-eases associated with aging including cataracts, Alzheimer's,
Parkinson's atherosclerosis and others.


Journal of Clinical Epidemiology 47:1021-26, 1994.


Antioxidant Functions


Antioxidants are well documented and known to play vital roles in
health maintenance and dis-ease prevention.  Glutathione is your
cell's own major antioxidant.  Maintaining elevated glutathione
levels aids the body's natural antioxidant function.


Biochemical Pahrmacology 47: 2114-2123, 1994.


Neurological Dis-Ease


Low glutathione levels have been associated with nuero-degenerative
dis-eases such as MS (Multiple Sclerosis), ALS (Lou Gehrig's Dis-
ease), Alzheimer's and Parkinson's.  The Lancet 344: 796-798, 1994.
Cancer


Glutathione plays a role in eliminating many carcinogens/acids and
also maintains and optimizes white blood cell function while
providing stronger anti-acidic/anti-tumor defenses.


Cancer Letters 57: 91-94, 1991.


Athletic Performance


Raised glutathione levels help increase strength and endurance.
Those interested in physical fitness can benefit from a definite
athletic edge.
Journal of Applied Physiology 87: 1381-1385, 1999.
Toxins, Pollution and Radiation


Glutathione detoxifies a variety of pollutants, carcinogens and
poisons including many found in fuel exhaust and cigarette smoke.
It also retards damage from radiation exposure due to the eroding
ozone layer.


Annual Reviews of Biochemistry 52: 711-760, 1983


AIDS


Glutathione levels correspond to poor survival of AIDS patients.
Much documentation demonstrates the role of enhanced glutathione
levels in AIDS.


Proceedings of the National Academy of Science, USA 94: 1967-72,
1997.


Heart Dis-Ease, Stroke and Cholesterol


Raised glutathione levels fight the oxdiation of fats circulating in
the bloodstream including cholesterol, retarding the process of
plaque formation in the arteries leading to most heart attacks and
strokes.


Nutrition Reviews 54: 1-30, 1996.


Diabetes


Diabetics are more prone to 'out-fections' and circulatory problems
leading to heart dis-ease, kidney failure and blindness.
Glutathione protects against the complications of diabetes.


Clinical Science 91:575-582, 1996


Lung Disease


Doctors have used glutathione-promoting drugs to treat many lung
diseases including asthma, chronic bronchitis and emphasema.  New
and potentially therapeutic roles can be found for cigarette smoke
damage, pulmonary fibrosis and other illnesses.


American Journal of Medical Science 307:119-127,
1994


Digestive Disorders


Glutathione protects the body from inflammation of gastritis,
stomach ulcers, pancreatitis and inflammatory bowel dis-ease
including ulcerative colitis and Crohn's dis-ease.


Gut 42: 485-492, 1998


Hepatitis


The liver is a major storehouse for glutathione. Glutathione is
impaired in alcohol hepatitis as well as in viral (acidic)
hepatitis including hepatitis A, B, and C.  Raisied glutathione
levels help restore liver function.
Americal Journal of gastroenterology 91: 2569-2573, 1996
Kidney Dis-Ease


Those with kidney failure or on dialysis suffer from high levels of
oxidative (acidic) stress and decreased glutathione levels.  Raised
glutathione levels help prevent anemia.


Nephron 61: 404-408, 1992


Pregnancy, Lactation and Childbirth


Glutathione's role in fetal and placental develoment is critical.
It also acts in the placenta to detoxify pollutants before they can
reach the developing child.  Many complications of pregnancy have
been linked with poor glutathione levels.


Early Human Development 37: 167-174, 1994

Thank You
Art Bliss
http://www.maxgxl.com/xtreambliss

Dr Robert Keller created the Max GXL formula that helps your body
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Dr Keller is in Africa giving away Max Gxl to help stop the aids
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F1nd 0ut m0re about the Max GXL Evolution at
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xtreambliss@...
360-765-3007
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There are no live groups in Chicago for Hetero males that I know of,
only mixed groups sadly. Tpan has some good support groups.

TPAN.COM



--- In Chicagoheteros@yahoogroups.com, "stickncarrot" <kimwiater@...>
wrote:
>
> I am looking for a "Live" Support Group for Hetero, Positive men in
> the Chicago area.  Can anyone recommend anything?
>

--- In Chicagoheteros@yahoogroups.com, "stickncarrot" <kimwiater@...>
wrote:
>
> I am looking for a "Live" Support Group for Hetero, Positive men in
> the Chicago area.  Can anyone recommend anything?
>
Response: Hi Kim, it's me Nick, who asked you about all this today.
Isn't that funny? You're a sweetheart for trying. Thanks for the talk
today.

Meet your STD lover and together for ever--- Come here to meet POZ
friends! Tens of thousands of people like you have joined this
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I am looking for a "Live" Support Group for Hetero, Positive men in
the Chicago area.  Can anyone recommend anything?

Hello,
My name is Alexander.

I live in Belgrade , Serbia ,  42 yrs , university degree in civil
engineering , and till 18 august last year I was a happy  man . I was
on probe work in my second job.
FOR THE FIRST TIME A JOB THAT WAS WELL PAYED, WITH SOCIAL SECURITY
AND A CHANCE TO MAKE MYSELF A PROJECT LICENCE FOR CIVIL ENGINEEERING.
NEW FLAT, TWO BEAUTIFULL DAUGHTERS……………..
AND THEN, THE HELL BURST OUT……………………………AND ALL THAT CAME DOWN IN
FLAMES
I HAVE HAD OCCASIONAL RISKY CONTACT BEFORE BUT I WAS THINKING
STUPIDLY THAT  " IT COUDN`T NEVER HAPPENED TO ME………"
BUT IT DOES ! ! !
It has all started with nausea , temperature about 37,5 C for a 10
days, and then I had gone for testing in a private clinic on
September 19 . When I got the result on the way home I have fainted .
I went to a City Clinic for Public Health Protection for another
testing and there was the same result except that the W.Blot has
confirmed the second test on October 2.
Result was :HIV 1 positive !
Then I went to a National Clinic for  Tropical and Infectious
Diseases  ( Dr Djordje Jevtovic – very good  specialist – in first 50
in world ) and finally the diagnose was :
INFEKTIO HIV  CDC  Gr 3  ( ! ! ) .   CD4=58 and VL =0 ! ? !
  I was detained in hospital for a two weeks with Esophageal Candida (
Fluconasol  200 mg for a 14 days ) and has started my first therapy
ZIAGEN  2x1 = 600 mg , EPIVIR 2x1 = 300mg  and  STOCRIN ( SUSTIVA )
1x1 = 600 mg all in 19 h and  Bactrim  2x1  (  400 + 80 mg ) three
times per week > mon , wed , fri .

They had tested my wife ……….but she seems to be negative thanks God !

On 16 Oct I came back home and then I have realized that I`M IN
HELL………….

I FELL FRIGHTENED TO DEATH , AND HAVE ALL SYMPTOMS OF  DEPRESSION :
- lost my habits in reading , watching TV , listening music ……………
- scared to socialize with friends……………………………..
- poor sleeping and bad dreams
- lack of concentration in any way
- lack of communication with family- wife and children-  due to a
self –guilt……………………
- many worries- WORRIED WELL
-THINKING OF A QUICK SOLUTION………….BUT THERE IS ALSO A STIGMA OVER IT.

WHY IS THAT  SO :

I don't wanna go back to a hospital ! ! !
  First the condition there is horrible – like a "Fly over a cuckoo
nest " . Only 3 doctors with more than a 300 active-on therapy  and
1200 occasionally paccients , lousy food ,  22 beds WITH ONLY 4
SHEETY TOILETS AND ONE BATHROOM  , lousy windows and radiators ,  50
% of patients  are a intravenous drug users , who have their fix
even in a dining room , lot of steeling , lot of
criminals………………….and  medical sisters  who doesn't care too much due
to a poor wages……………………………
There is only ONE psychologist for a whole bunch and she is tired of
her work…….During my first session I was constantly interrupted with
a questions and suggestions as : Play some music ,cook a lunch , read
a book and try to live NORMALY !Second session was 30` and she did
not came to a third- she was too busy with another job to do.
When a patient reach about 500-600 CD4 doctors over here just took
him off the HAART saying:
"Aaah, you are doing pretty well, let's give you a break........
until 200 " , not to mention a shortage of medicine due to a
notorious image of Serbia in world. Just for that we have been
bombarded by NATO for 74 days .I'm not saying that we were not
guilty , but not so much....................
  ( Just to add :Example 1 : just two years before there was a state
note that every patient that has been on HAART and his CD4 was > 250
has to stop treatment due to a shortage of supplies. Now that line is
somewhere between 500-600.
Example2 : When I was in a hospital , they brought a patient , an old
hobo , heavily breathing and in some kind of pains. It was a weekend
and a doctor who was orderly then said to nurses : ( I have heard it
because I was close behind the doors just passing by) " Don't give
him Trodon for pain , because it level down a number of white blood
cells. He had come here to die anyway, I think "
Man was on his feet two days after just with oxygen therapy, but
still in some pains...................)
Until three years ago there was a refunding period for drugs overhear
meaning:
If you wanna be cured you have to pay ~ 35000 euro ~ 42000 dollars at
your first year , and then after 12 months that money would be given
to you by social insurance , but always with a loss due to a
inflation.
And if you did not have the money..............lots of previous
patients have sold their houses to be cured for the first
year.......................and believe me it is true
There is NO graceful death for us in Serbia because in a two-million
city of Belgrade there is a shortage of intensive health care bed
departments due to a wasted social funds.
And that kind of beds with lung-heart machine or oxygen are always
reserved for the people with cardiac diseases , or a stroke , or
cancer , or for some local  (or state) politician..............we are
at the clear end of a line................................
Could we call this anti-euthanasia ? )

I have called some community services specialized for this matter ,
but in there there are only young kids with no knowledge about
anything ……….and if they are + they are often angry or sedated or……………
with no experience……………

I HAVE NEARLY LOST MY NEW JOB AND A PAYCHECK WITH THAT AND I DOESN'T
GET ANY MONEY TO MY HOUSE ANYMORE ! ! !
  because I was tired I HAVE LIED MY BOSS THAT THAT WAS DUE TO A
SERIOUS HART CONDITION AND HE SAID ( AND HE IS A GOOD MAN BUT A VERY
SUSPICION ONE ) THAT I COULD WORK FROM HOME , BUT HE DOESN`T NOT KNOW
IF HE IS GOING TO PAY anything  to  , ME OR TO GIVE TO ME MY SOCIAL
SECURITY  CARD.
I decided to work from home because it is a small firm with a lot of
workers who work outside as a central heating workers and with 6
engineers AND YOU REALLY DON`T KNOW IF SOMEONE HAS A FLU ……………..AND
MY JOB IS ABOUT 10 MILES FROM HOME BUT WE DON`T HAVE A SECOND CAR SO
I HAVE TO CATCH  TWO HEAVY CROWD BUSES TO JOB AND BACK , AND YOU
REALLY DON`T KNOW IF SOMEONE HAS A FLU AGAIN……………………
And a working time is with traveling from 6.45-16.45 mon – fri and
6.45-15.45 on saturday and that is too heavy for me in my present
condition !
MOST OF ALL MY FATHER IN LOW KNOWS MY BOSS AND I`M AFRAID BECAUSE he
might telephone to him and ask about my status !

MY WIFE IS SUPPORTING US and now thru the day I'm in a her very
little flat BECAUSE I HAVE TOLD MY KIDS THAT I HAVE GO TO A WORK ,
AND THEY THINK THAT I DO SO , BECAUSE  I'm scared that they would
tell to my my wife parents that I do not work anymore………………..and they
might ask why………………….
ALSO MY WIFE IS A LIVING BEEING TOO AND SHE DOES NOT WANNA BE WITH ME
IN BED – THAT I UNDERSTAND – BUT I`M AFRRAID THAT SHE WOULD BECOME
MISEABLE OVER IT AND MORE DEPRESSED .
ALSO SHE IS TIRED BECAUSE OD TWO CHILDREN AND I DON'T SEE ANY WAY TO
HELP HER.


Wife has a PhD in technology , she works in a Institute BUT due to a
poor state in our country THEY DON'T WORK AT  ALL  , AND THERE IS A
LAUSY ATMOSPHERE IN THERE BETTWEN WORKERS  AND THEY WANT TO KNOW
EVERY SECRET……….ABOUT OTHERS……………..SHE ALREADY HAS GOT A SECOND
WARNING BECAUSE SHE WAS WISITING ME IN A HOSPITAL DURING A WORKING
TIME……………

I` M SCARED THAT TRUE WOULD COME OUT(in a control in local health
department, or being seen by a friend in a clinic ..or..)  AND
AND MAKE A 3 MORE LIVES MISERABLE
(THEY ARE NOT GUILTY FOR ANYTHING THAT HAS HAPPENED TO ME)  THE GREAT
PROBLEM IS BECAUSE MY DESEASE IS A GREAT STIGMA IN MY COUNTRY.
There is a kid HIV+ who attends a school near us. He is alone in his
class and school dep. has changed all water pipes in school to a
electronically controlled because of him. He has no friends at all.
There is a man Ivan Radojicich who was attempting something but
seeing what is happening (his little daughter although she is - , was
enforced to give a blood test for a 4 times...............by other
parents in a kindergarten), he had to stand off the fight and now he
only lead an radio emission on miner local radio at Thursday from 2-4
AM.......................
ONLY MY WIFE KNOW ABOUT MY ILNESS ( and she becomes depress too ,and
tired)
IMPLICATIONS WOULD BE :
1.My wife would lost a state job (PhD),private too and she is now
supporting me, and she would GOT A SOCIAL STIGMA JUST FOR STAYING
WITH ME,AND NOT TELLING ANYONE.(frends,coworkers,clients)
2.My child would be expelled from school and kindergarten AND HAVE A
LIFE STIGMA AND I LOVE THEM VERY MUCH…………..
3.If my father in low would know he would probably passed away at a
spot due to his poor hart condition……………so I HAVE NOONE TO TELL TO………
AND A BURDEN BECOMES HEAVY EACH DAY………………………..
3.SOCIAL SECURITY
More than that from a next year there is transition to a new social
card with a bar code BUT
I'm scared because I don't  know  what kind of data would be there
and who might see it.
In my COUNTRY data's about my illness is available in a Central
Social Security Office almost by anyone……………………….Now I'm in a working
bureau for unemployment but ANYONE DON'T WANNA TO GIVE ME A SOCIAL
CARD BECAUSE I HAVE IT THRU MY WIFE.
4.COURSE of ILNESS :
Thru the Sept 18 I was feeling perfectly well  and I have started
therapy but since than I have had :

1.   Candida Eshophagitis –Th : Fluconasol tablets 200 mg  for a
14days
2.   Herpes genitalis              Th : Acyclovir
tablets               for a 10 days
3.   Human Papilloma Virus on my genitals……..twice
4. Gluteous infection on my back
5. Signs of seborrhea dermatitis


I'm seeing my ophthalmologist once a month and for now.
THANKS GOD THERE IS NO SIGNS OF A CMV VIRUS IN MY EYES. I ALSO WEAR A
GLASSES WITH A SOLID DIOPTHRY.

Year `87 :My father died from lung cancer. He was not ill until his
63 and BOM ! , then suddenly one day ha just said to me : I have to
go to the doc, having a double vision. Chemo , X-rays ,
operation...........nothing helped .He was so skinny at his last days
and without any control..........like a kid.............

Year `98:Mom died also from lung cancer. One day she just noticed
that she has a dark blue lips , went to doc and he was stunned. Size
of a 3 oranges in her chest. Two months...........

Year `03:Sister of uncle died from breast cancer fighting like hell
for a 5 years , three years ago.Her dad died 1983 guess from
what..............

SO I VERY GOOD KNOW THAT CHEMOTHERAPY AND X-RAYS ARE NOT A PICNIC AND
WITH A CD4 COUNT OF 58 MY CHANCES ARE………………………


Also many plans that I have had for my family are go down in
flames……………….( road trips to Austria , Switzerland , vacation in
Egypt , Tunisia , gifts for graduation time ,  for wedding
anniversary , Valentine`s  day………… )







In Serbia we have a drugs near ones in the States but just for HIV.
Other classes of drugs for a Opp. Inf or a some other illnesses are
much older or don't exist at all.
My dr gave me Xalol for my depression but it knocks me down or do
nothing and it is not a really AD drug. In fact it could make
depression worse.

I don't have any relatives anymore or a friend I could lean on to do
some simplest things to me if I am ill.
Except my wife and she already have a rough time:
two kids, work at company, private work at home……………….
I'm desperate because I know that she will AND MUST FIND SOMEONE ELSE
ONE DAY AND THAT MY DAUGHTERS  WIIL LOSE ME AND THAT SOMEONE ELSE
WILL TAKE MY PLACE.
THAT BREAK MY HEART ,  BECAUSE THEY ARE VERY YOUNG ( 5  &  10  yrs ) .
In fact my wife has told to me that she has been unfaithful to me,
long ago Oct `06 and in fact that in that time she had an ongoing
affair that she broken up two weeks ago due to my status!
Her behavior varies from hugging to accusations- like "… maybe you
would be happier if I'm infected too…" and I understand that in those
moments anger speaks from her.
I'm FEELING VERY BAD - BECAUSE OF MY TWO DOUGHTERS
I CANNOT LOOK IN THEIR EYES ANYMORE!

Since I have started my therapy my skin has changed:
it is more rough, dry and with TINY LITTLE MICROSPOTS BLEEDING MUCH
EASIER IF I SCRATCH THEM ...............I have been told that it has
might happened as a side effects from therapy BUT I'm frightened
because my kids want to hug them and I don't know is my VL is
constantly~0
I have a rush probably due to a Bactrim -my skin become VERY
SENSITIVE, EASILY BLEED AND I'm NOT KISSING AND HUGGING MY DAUGHTERS
ANYMORE - WHAT A PUNISHMENT!
AGAIN  I`M MOST SCARED THAT TRUE WOULD COME OUT AND
AND MAKE A 3 MORE LIVES MISERABLE
  (THEY ARE NOT GUILTY FOR ANYTHING THAT HAS HAPPENED TO ME)
Serbia is a country full of violence due to a post war period. Every
while you could read in newspapers that somewhere near you some store
has been robbed by a drug addict..........As I'm writing you there is
a flash on TV about a woman found in the woods .........extremely
tortured
And I'm really frightened for the three ladies of mine someday when I
would not be around !

Believe me I was very strong man just a few months ago. Years of
training in martial arts and some seasons in Mountain Rescue Squad
has give me strength.
And I don't wanna my 5 minutes of glory in this site , it is a stupid
tough , or I think that I'm different from any of us , just trying to
preserve my sanity..............

My depression was not provoked by a "meteor end of a world", or "fear
of paraglide flying " or something imagined. It is a cause of non-
soluting daily problems .................. for the first time in my
life.

And it is hard for a proud man as I used to be.

I was in plaster for a 5 months from a toe to a hip on one leg, due
to a Achilles tendon injury.
I did not take any help from anyone incl, bathing, eating,
walking........working at home...........
I also have to work without social security just to support my
family, changed few jobs, saving for a new flat, and that I'm not
different from anyone here.
But now I feel shattered..........because of things I have
stated..............and people who knows me has notice that something
is wrong guess by what ?
By my eyes-they have lost brightness and joy they used to
have...............and eyes are mirror of a soul....

I wanna live -  to feel a sunlight on my face , to feel a spring
breeze on my cheeks , to listen to a early morning birdsong , and to
look at a night starry sky, to laugh and hug my daughters and wife
for a long time , but I am ashamed because I haven't completed my
life tasks and that I would be psychically or mentally burden to my
family.



I'm scared, with no one to turn to and almost lost my will to live………
because I'm feeling socially disconnected and with great felling of
remorse , and guilt because what I have done to my family……………..

For any advices or words of wisdom thanks..............

                                                              Alexander