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Hello,
Yes, there is help and hope for you, but first you would need to stop sabotaging yourself. If you can make that commitment to yourself, you can definitely live a better life.
It was sad to read your story and all the difficult times you have endured. Yet, you are quite young and can make many changes in your life. Think of life as a journey and what path you would like to take for the next 60 or so years.
I am speaking to you as an ADHD Coach, not a medical doctor. So, I cannot comment on your medications except to say that if you are supposed to be taking them, then you NEED to take them. Once on the medication that works for you, you can better focus on your strengths and strategies for your challenges.
People with ADHD who go on medication do not lose the person they were in the first place. If anything, you can become a better version of that person. In other words, you will still have your intelligence, creativity and strenghts. All you will lose will be the intensity of the challenges that get in your way.
Basically, what I'm telling you is that only YOU can help yourself get started down a healthier path. Go back to a good doctor that is up-to-date on ADHD. Seek the help of a therapist and/or an ADHD Coach. Build a support team around yourself. But ultimately, it will be up to you to follow through with your treatment program.
Best of luck to you!
Rhonda
ADHD Coach
I I live in Brisbane, QLD, Australia and I was diagnosed with ADHD
shortly after my 15th birthday. Prior to my diagnosis (and for as
long as I could remeber) I was failing badly in school, despite have
and IQ of over 140. I never completed my work, I never sat by
myself at home to do anything, I was suspended from school a few
times and in trouble most of the time, I spent every day in
detention and I was very, very active.
But after my diagnosis things got worse not better. I saw 15
different doctors and tried just as many different medications. But
my behaviour got worse. I was held back a grade twice, I had to
have a full time teacher aide hired to watch me, I was suspended and
expelled from several schools, I was even black banned from one.
The problem was before my diagnosis I was already a teenager and if
you asked me to describe my personality I would say I was energetic,
active, sponatious and uninhibited. But then I was diagnosed and
affectively told that this wasn't my personality at all but symptoms
of a disorder in need of medication. I no longer knew who I was or
where I ended and my ADHD began. I would pick up ADHD books off the
shelves at stores and read them and they described me. Every aspect
of me was in there. So I was scared. I never stuck on any
medication long, I sabotaged every program that was designed to
help. Because If I got better I was scared I would loose myself.
I am now 23. I am on a disability pension and have been thrown out
of every job, relationship or educational institution I have ever
been to. I was hoping that there might be someone out there who
could offer some help.
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