Hello this would have to be the first group i think i have ever
joined to start dealing with a.d.d. Let me first start with a little
abought my self. when i was in 3rd grade i was dignost with add. My
parents started puting me on medication. on for the first year I
resived all A's and got put on the spelling be. But at home i would
become depresive and Zombie like. so they descided to take me off of
the medicin. to make a long story short I started failing really bad
in school i would act out and be uncontroleable. by the time i hit
junor high I had a few tragitys and started smoking pot. that seamed
to slow me down and alow me to think. but being a young teen at the
time i would only smoke once in a while. by the time i was 16
schools wanted me gone thinking i was just a wast. well at 16 my
parents noticed that computers and art had become a passion and sent
me to a comunity collage for computer science. still failing even
though i loved it and tryed hard, i just couldnt fouces unless i was
high. then by 18 i was 2 bussy parting and just wanted away from my
fusterated parents. so i droped out and moved out. becouse i had
lots of talnt with my graphic design, I found a real job. well
needless 2 say no mater how much i loved it i failed i couldnt
complete tasks and was always forgeting things couse of my drug use.
some where inbetween this time i meet the love of my life and got
ingaged. now i still talk to her in big hopes to work things out.
and she is patient, just a little stand offish becouse my past
actions would put me in jail or make me lose my job. and we would
just scream at eachother. when ussaly im a laid back easy going
person ( think pot did that to me). well now im 24 and i live on my
own. i couldnt live with roomates I would be to impulsive and creat
havoc. and three years ago i moved in with only my self, and have
strugled to make it hear and preaty much turned dorment. the only
time i was doing good is when i partyed, not mently well but
finacly. Most likely becouse it gave me drive for money.

I have come to a point in my life where i want to quit smokeing pot
it has killed alot of my ambision. but again very impulsive. I cant
afored medical help my parents say they are done. but i feel my
mother has the same problem, and she doesnt even know what to-do for
her self. I refuse to go on medication. I want to do this away from
drugs. but i cant even quit smoking. I'm very lost very confused and
very dameged by my A.D.D. I cant even spell or write very well. I am
trying to get away from the drugs and have been doing very well. but
then ill bounce between my graphics. mixing records. taking pics.
painting. and playing my gitar. but nothing gets completed and after
3 or 4 days i run right back to the pot. I hate it im so fusterated
with my life. I would like to run a graphics biz. I have taken lots
of time on perfecting my skill in that. but i should be further then
i am. with 8 years of exsperiance. I would also like to stop going
off on my girl, so we can try geting back together. and i would like
to be able to stop being impulsive hold down a jpb and pay my bills.
I tryed writing todo list. dont read them. i dont eat sugurs. at
least not much. and i try to creat rutine. but still have no gudance
and i never stiick to anything. I ask my self every day why has god
given me this gift to be ontop of a million things aday and become
very good at them. but take it allaway by makeing me so unfoced, un
orginized, and impulsive. I just need help couse i cant do this any
more. its makeing me very depresed and well thats not me im like a
young robin willams very happy and full of personality. i know the
first thing i need to do is stay away from the drugs. but to do that
i need some balance in my life. some please help! i cant do this
alone any more. and i dont know what todo. I want the american dream
the house the kids the wife and i would like to beable to run my
company. if you have any info or any tools that woul help please e-
mail me. Thank you! i hope this site helps.

Michael Austin
http://www.coroflot.com/tobart