I too am having a difficult time coming to terms with it all still.
Although I have two children I really wanted a larger family. I told
my husband this who then said ,"At least it is not smaller". He is
right, I am thankful for what I have but it still hurts. Losing a
baby, having cancer and having a radical hysterectomy with no chance
of ever carrying another child is all too much to deal with.
I think of my little girl that saved my life everyday and wish she
could have been born.

Vicky

--- In Cervical-Cancer@yahoogroups.com, "Molly Parrish"
<red_77598@...> wrote:
>
> I just had a baby and a cone biopsy and am awaiting the results.
If
> the margins do not come clear the next step is a possible
> hysterectomy. The was my first child so the possibility of it
being
> my only child is very scary. I know how you feel. My husband and
I
> have talked about the possibility of adoption if my biopsy does
not
> come back with clear margins. We will see. I thank god everyday
> that at least they caught this early enough to get it, adn that I
> will be able to be around for my little boy.
>
> Molly
> CIS
>
>
> --- In Cervical-Cancer@yahoogroups.com, "kellyjt19" <kellyjt19@>
> wrote:
> >
> > Thanks! Actually, the tumor was only on the cervix and luckily
I
> did
> > not have to go through any other treatment. I am having an
> extremely
> > difficult time coping with the concept of having only one
child.
> Are
> > you still? I would love to hear from anyone else that could
> relate
> > and how they are handling it! I am also going back next week
for
> > another check up! ~Kelly
> >
> >
> > --- In Cervical-Cancer@yahoogroups.com, "Rowe, Susan: CBSC -
STJ"
> > <rowe.susan@> wrote:
> > >
> > > Hi, It's good to hear that you are doing well and were able to
> carry
> > > your baby long enough to have a positive outcome.
> > > You have really had so much to deal with all at once. I wanted
> to
> > ask
> > > you if you had treatment other than the hysterectomy?
> > > Just wondering because you said that were no signs of cancer
> > elsewhere
> > > over 1cm. Did that mean there were small spots?
> > > Have they been treated?
> > > How are you coping with the prospect of having one child? I am
> 40
> > and
> > > was diagnosed last May at 39 when I found myself newly
divorced,
> > > in a brand new relationship with a man who never had kids and
> > perhaps
> > > wanted them. So, for me I had to deal with the prospect that I
> > > could no longer have a second child. Certainly not easy. I
> figured
> > after
> > > my divorce if I found the right man I might want to have
another
> > child.
> > > It's not easy when choice is dictated and no longer yours to
> make.
> > >
> > > I also had no signs of cancer until a bad pap smear in May
2006
> that
> > > further testing (MRI) revealed a 7x7x7 cm tumor along with
> enlarged
> > > lymph nodes.
> > > So far the radiation (internal and external) and chemotherapy
> that
> > I had
> > > have worked and I responded well to treatment. I return for my
> > first 3
> > > month check up
> > > on January 16th and am hoping for a good report.
> > >
> > > Once of the things that's not discussed in much detail is the
> fact
> > that
> > > I am now in menopause. I'd like to know how anyone else thrown
> into
> > > early menopause
> > > is feeling.
> > >
> > > Feel free to contact me directly if you need to talk.
> > > Susan
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > > ________________________________
> > >
> > > From: Cervical-Cancer@yahoogroups.com
> > > [mailto:Cervical-Cancer@yahoogroups.com] On Behalf Of kellyjt19
> > > Sent: Thursday, January 4, 2007 12:01 PM
> > > To: Cervical-Cancer@yahoogroups.com
> > > Subject: [Cervical-Cancer] Re: feeling lousy looking for
support
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > > Hi, I am 29 yrs old and went through a similar experience last
> > year.
> > > I went in for a pregnancy comformation, pap, etc. last Dec.
and
> all
> > > looked okay. However, in April I started to have abnormal
> bleeding.
> > > The Dr. said it was normal in the 2nd trimester to have cysts
> and
> > > removed it with no concerns. However, when I went in the
> following
> > > week for the results it came back full blown cervical
cancer!!!
> I
> > > was shocked as I had never had any signs before. So, he told
me
> > they
> > > would try to have me carry long enough for the baby's lungs to
> > > develop, deliver by c-section, followed by an immediate
> > > hysterectomy! Wow-what news at once after things were going so
> > > well. I went to the oncologist that week and had a PET scan
> while
> > > pregnant. I had a rare type that usually begins in the lungs,
> but
> > > there were no signs over a centimeter anywhere else. Otherwise
I
> > > would have had to start chemo/radiation. I was able to make it
> to
> > 34
> > > weeks and now have a healthy 6 month old. However, this will
be
> my
> > > only child. I have had to go through having a preemie in the
> NICU,
> > > cancer, hysterectomy, and fertility loss all at once!!! It is
> very
> > > hard! I can sympathize with you and wonder if anyone else has
a
> > > similar situation!
> > >
> > > --- In Cervical-Cancer@yahoogroups.com
> > > <mailto:Cervical-Cancer%40yahoogroups.com> , "vikkita123"
> > > <romalley2@>
> > > wrote:
> > > >
> > > > Hi, I'm 37 yrs old. I was diagnosed with stage 1b1
> endocervical
> > > > adenocarcinoma in November following a cone biopsy and
> cerclage
> > due
> > > > to me being 16 weeks pregnant.
> > > > A little background - I was not due for a pap smear until
> > > December.
> > > > I went to my OBGYN in September because I was newly
pregnant.
> > They
> > > > did a routine pregnancy pap smear. Pap smear showed abnormal
> > > > cells. My OB was not too concerned because it was not
abnormal
> > for
> > > > paps to come back "abnormal" during pregnancy due to the
> > hormones.
> > > > She scheduled a colposcopy and to her suprise and mine it
> showed
> > > > carcinoma insitu. A cone biopsy was done which then
confirmed
> > that
> > > > I indeed had adenocarcinoma stage 1b1. I was devasted and
> still
> > > > am. My only option for treatment according to my OB and Gyn
> > > > Oncologist was to have a radical hysterectomy asap with
> > termination
> > > > of my pregnancy. There was no time to wait until the baby
was
> > > > developed enough to be born. So at 20 weeks of pregnancy I
> > > > underwent what turned out to be a modified radical
> hysterectomy
> > > > (ovaries were left but lymph nodes were all removed). I am 9
> days
> > > > post op and was feeling ok until 2 days ago. I still have a
> foley
> > > > cather in and will for another 3 weeks. By the way I am
home.
> I
> > > am
> > > > feeling crampy as if having menstrual cramps. The catheter
> hurts
> > > > and I have a constant urge to urinate which hurts. I finally
> > moved
> > > > my bowels today but still feel quit uncomfortable. I am
taking
> > > > dilauded for pain. My incision is hurting as the staples are
> > > > starting pull. Besides feeling physically terrible I am also
> > > > mourning the loss of my baby girl. Ironically, if it were
not
> for
> > > > the pregnancy the cancer would have not been detected so
early
> so
> > I
> > > > probably would not have gone for a pap until Feb or March.
My
> > > > little angel saved my life. The biopsy of my lymph nodes
shows
> no
> > > > invasion and so I would not have to have any further
> treaments.
> > > > I have two children (boy 5 yrs and girl 3yrs). They were
both
> so
> > > > excited about having a sibling, infact they were asking for
> one
> > > > before I knew I was pregnant.
> > > > If anyone knows anyone that has had to make a difficult
> decision
> > > > like I had to please let me know. I'm also looking for
support
> to
> > > > help me through this terrible time.
> > > > Thanks,
> > > > Vicky
> > > >
> > >
> >
>