Vicky,

I am a 1 year survivor of stage 3 cervical cancer, having gone through the radical hysterectomy, radiation and chemo.  Although I did not lose a child through this, I can tell you what I know in my heart and soul to be true.  Your child was a gift from God, sent to you, to save your life.  You have much left to do here and you are so valued. 

My firm belief is that we are all spiritual beings having a human experience.  Some of us were meant to be here to live out long lives, to live out a specific life purpose and to become more enlightened.  Others, such as your child, may come for only a very short time, again to live out a specific purpose.  In this case, to save your life.   This should also be an awakening for you as your child came as a gift.  She is not truly gone, her spirit, her energy is all around you.  She may guide you, comfort your sorrows, create light where you might only see darkness.  You only need to allow it.

Instead of looking back and wondering what could have been, honor her spirit and look forward at what will be.  She will be there for you