Hello to the other Jen!

Thank so much for replying.  Sometimes I feel so alone and others not.  Last night was one of those.  Life is very scary now.  I know that fear is a major hurtle.  I've been fighting issues of fear my whole life.  I'm afraid to live my life because people won't accept me because I feel as though I'm always the token fat girl.  Now I know that is not as important as everything else I'm going through but it adds to the body image fear of rejection due to scars and vaginal atrophy.  Internal radiation is a bitch.  At Christmas time I did have the thought that it might be my last but also I was grateful to even have that day to spend with my family. 

Every day is a struggle.  How to do you overcome something like fear? 

Thanks again!


Jenn S., 28
Cortland NY
Squamous cell cervical cancer 1B 07/01/04
BSO & lymphadenectomy, upgraded to 3B, 08/02/04
25 external rads
5 Cisplatin
2 internal rads (tandem & ovid insertion a.k.a brachytherapy)
Dancing with NED
Nerve damage due to Cisplatin

Upcoming: 2nd post-treatment Pap - May 17, 2005



Jennifer Forester wrote:

Hey Jenn

I can totally understand how you are feeling so overwhelmed!! My story is very similar. I was diagnosed last July with stage IIB cervical cancer. I had just bought a new house and thought that life was a blessing. Wham when the Dr. gave me the news it was like I was thrown into a alternate world. My entire world was labs, chemo, radiation ect. I would look at people walking down the road and think how can everyone be so oblivious!! In a split second life can change so much. I am now SIX months in remission! I pray that it will continue. I know that even when the Dr. tells me things are looking good I will always be worried. Every occasion a little voice in my head says is this the last Christmas,Birthday,Mothers day? I don;t know yet if this will get better in time but I do know you have to get past the fear! Just look at how much you have been through and how strong a person you are!! Never under estimate your spirit!! I am also on hormone replacement. I still have all! my equipment It just doesn't work due to internal radiation. I can relate to being to young to be menopausal!! Take care of your self let me know if I can help. Jen in Toronto.Ontario, Canada.

labgirl2076 <jsmit40@...> wrote:

Hello everyone!

I was diagnosed with squamous cell cervical cancer stage 1B on July 1,
2004...immediately following the purchase of my first home.  It was
one of the worst days of my life.  I'm 28 and single with no children.

I was scheduled for a radical hysterectomy but when a positive lymph
node was found, my uterus and cervix were left in place to protect my
bladder and bowel during the internal radiation I was to have.
Subsequently, I was bumped up to stage 3B.  I then had external
radiation and chemotherapy (Cisplatin) and 2 rounds of internal
radiation. 

I'm now on hormone replacement as my doctor removed my ovaries because
ovarian cancer runs in my family.  So I'm infertile. 

I'm here because I'm struggling with almost everything in my life.  I
really, really want to find! someone like me who understands.  I am
having a hard time finding support groups in RL. 

Any one out there?

Thanks.

Jenn S., 28
Cortland NY
Squamous cell cervical cancer 1B 07/01/04
BSO & lymphadenectomy, upgraded to 3B, 08/02/04
25 external rads
5 Cisplatin
2 internal rads (tandem & ovid insertion a.k.a brachytherapy)
Dancing with NED
Nerve damage due to Cisplatin

Upcoming: 2nd post-treatment Pap - May 17, 2005

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