=== Center of Attention ===
Newsletter of CHADD of Northern California
Also at: http://www.chaddnorcal.org/newsletter
5 July 2004

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>> IN THIS ISSUE <<
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*Calendar of Events
*Announcements: Summer Telephone Support Group
*Feature Article: How to Remember When You Forget To
*Please Tell Us
*Subscription Information
*CHADD Information

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>> CALENDAR OF EVENTS <<
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This calendar only has events for the next 3 or 4 weeks listed. It
also does not list some other CHADD groups which may be closer to you
and it does not list some non-CHADD events. For a thorough calendar,
look at: http://www.chaddnorcal.org/schedule and also
http://www.chaddnorcal.org/schedule/otherevent.htm.

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Stanislaus - 7/6/2004, Tues. 7 - 8pm
Modesto Support Group -- (No children please)
Doctors Medical Center, Modesto - Contact: Bonnie: 209-523-4939
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Marin - 7/8/2004, Thu. 7-9 pm
Ask the Doctor: Michael Freeman, MD, psychiatrist. -- Ask your
questions about current treatments. Discuss the virtues of
ADHD and Bipolar Disorders. Dr Freeman specializes in helping people
with ADHD and mood and
anxiety disorders.
Family Works Counseling Agency, San Rafael - Contact: Beverlee: 415-789-9464
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Marin - 7/13/2004, Tues. 7-9 pm
Adult Support Group, with SueZee Poinsett, Professional coach and
organizer. -- Free, drop-in peer-support group. Talk with others who
really understand. And share and develop life skills. In addition, if
you want to work on skills for sorting and purging papers, bring your
paper piles.
Marin Community Mental Health, Greenbrae - Contact: Beverlee: 415-789-9464
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Santa Clara - 7/13/2004, Tues. 7:15 - 9 pm
Support Group for Partners! -- Support and community-resource
information for the partners of folks with ADHD. PLEASE NOTE: This is
NOT a support group for people with AD/HD, nor for couples, nor for
parents. It is EXCLUSIVELY for PARTNERS of people with ADHD, and
others will have to be turned away.
Friends Meeting House, Palo Alto - Contact: Gina Pera: 888-759-9758
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Telephone - 7/14/2004, Wed. 7 - 8:30 pm PST
Support Group -- Group size is limited to 8 people. There is no
charge for the group itself. However, you will pay your normal
telephone charges for a call to Santa Cruz, CA. You MUST REGISTER IN
ADVANCE to receive the telephone number and access code. Send an
email with the subject line "Telephone Group" to chadd@....
If you sign up and you find out you can't participate, PLEASE let us
know as soon as possible.
Contact: Silicon Valley Warmline: 650-949-5472
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Napa - 7/15/2004, Thu. 7 - 9 pm
Parent Support Group -- Focusing on education, ADHD strengths, and
strategies to manage the challenges of ADHD.
St. John's Lutheran Church, Napa - Contact: Karen Shepard:
707-257-8113, or mailto:ksnapa@...
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Online - 7/21/2004, Wed. 9-11 am PST
"Ask The Expert" Chat - Chandan J. Vaidya, Ph.D. -- Mini Med School
- Brain and AD/HD. Open to the Public.
Online Chat, Internet - Contact: Message Line: 888-759-9758
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Marin - 7/26/2004, Mon. 12:30 pm - 2:30 pm
Parent Resource & Support Group -- Call First...
30 Catalpa, Mill Valley - Contact: Victoria Vogel & Holly Seerley: 415-383-6048
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San Francisco - 7/26/2004, Mon. 7 - 9 pm
Adult Success Group -- Share skills and strategies for success at
home, in the workplace, in relationships, etc. (It's a good idea to
call to confirm dates, get ideas on parking. etc.)
First Unitarian Universalist Church, San Francisco - Contact: Rachel
Rosenfeld: 888-759-9758
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Alameda - 7/27/2004, Tues. 7 - 9 pm
Adult Support Group --
Lynnwood United Methodist Church, Pleasanton - Contact: Pattie: 925-548-3997
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Telephone - 7/28/2004, Wed. 7 - 8:30 pm PST
Support Group -- Group size is limited to 8 people. There is no
charge for the group itself. However, you will pay your normal
telephone charges for a call to Santa Cruz, CA. You MUST REGISTER IN
ADVANCE to receive the telephone number and access code. Send an
email with the subject line "Telephone Group" to chadd@....
If you sign up and you find out you can't participate, PLEASE let us
know as soon as possible.
Contact: Silicon Valley Warmline: 650-949-5472 -, Wed. 7 - 8:30 pm PST
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Here are a couple more for later in the summer...
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San Mateo - 8/29/2004, Sun. Noon - 5 pm
L.E.A.D. GROUP -- For 6th - 10th grade kids with ADD, ADHD, &/or
learning disabilities . Kids work together to understand their
situation, figure out how to use their strengths to bridge
weaknesses, and learn social & negotiating skills so that students
can eventually advocate themselves. Parent attendance is suggested
for the opening meeting.
Universalist Unitarian Church, San Mateo - Contact: Laurie
Livingston: 650 375-8124, 650 307-2557 or LHL2S@...
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San Mateo - 9/18/2004, Sat. 8 am to 5 pm
"Healing Anxiety, Depression and ADD" - with Dr. Daniel Amen as
keynote speaker. -- Kitty Petty ADD/LD Institute's Ninth Annual
Symposium
Tyco Electronics Corporation, Menlo Park - Contact: Kitty Petty
ADD/LD Institute: 650-329-9443 or visit www.kpinst.org/
============================

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>> ANNOUNCEMENTS <<
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Summer Telephone Support Group!

CHADD of Silicon Valley will not meet during July and August.
However, we are trying a new format: A support group via telephone.
Group size is limited to 8 people.

The calls will be held on:

Wednesday, July 14, 7-8:30 P.M.
Wednesday, July 28, 7-8:30 P.M.
Wednesday, August 11, 7-8:30 P.M.
Wednesday, August 25, 7-8:30 P.M.

There are some important things to note:

* Cost: There is no charge for the group itself. However, you will
pay your normal telephone charges for a call to Santa Cruz, CA.

* Anyone can participate.

* You MUST REGISTER IN ADVANCE to receive the telephone number and
access code. Send an email with the subject line "Telephone Group" to
chadd@....

* Since the group size is limited please do not sign up unless you
are reasonably certain that you can participate. If you sign up and
you find out you can't participate, PLEASE let us know as soon as
possible so that we can make the space available to someone else.

Mike Hinckley will facilitate the calls. He has been facilitating
support groups for CHADD of Silicon Valley for about three years, He
also has over seven years experience facilitating support groups for
sleep apnea patients.


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>> FEATURE ARTICLE <<
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How to Remember When You Forget To

(The following article has been published with kind permission from
Lew Mills, PhD, LMFT, a Bay Area psychotherapist working with
Attention Deficit in Adults.)

The most common strategy used by adults with ADHD to improve their
effectiveness is to "try harder." Though very good advice-and it is
certainly offered often enough by well meaning bystanders-in the end
it is hardly ever helpful. The very thing which you would need to in
order to try harder is that same "effort" that eluded you in the
first place.

A similar dilemma arises in an effort to try harder to remember. You
can't really be aware of the need to remember something until in fact
you have already remembered it. We have problems with remembering
precisely when we have forgotten our resolve to try harder to
remember.

Though we like to imagine that we can remember to remember, we
usually fail to do so. What we need, and what this article is aiming
toward exploring, are ways to remember important things, even when we
are bound to forget that we want to remember them. We need to move
beyond the unreliable strategy of "trying harder." We need a strategy
which does not burden our already taxed memory for important
intentions. We need something external, something outside ourselves
to make our good intentions happen.

I've always thought that a Jiminy Cricket character, sitting on our
shoulder with wise reminders, would be ideal. In reality, it would be
very useful to have another person remind us of our intentions and
hold us accountable for their execution. This is indeed the premise
of ADHD coaching.

But if a coach is with us only a limited amount of the time, how do
we get those helpful reminders during the ongoing bustle of life.
Consider that the ideal moment for a little "Jiminy Cricket talk" is
just as Honest John is beckoning us to go and join the circus. And
the message has to be clear enough that it overwhelms the temptations
that would distract us from hearing it. Ideally, this message would
come from a place that requires no thought, no consideration of the
options, no hesitation. It should be an unambiguous, unarguable
habit. It should not burden the already overwhelmed "executive
functions" of the mind that make judgment calls and decisions.

To explain how this might work, I want to make an analogy with a
manufacturing process. At any point in a process, a person might make
a mistake. In designing a manufacturing process you would try to
minimize the likelihood of these kinds of errors. One approach is to
carefully train each person involved. Alternatively, each person
could be more closely supervised. But a novel approach is to make the
process itself more error proof. What if you could build into the
process ways that would make it immediately obvious when a mistake
was about to be made? Better yet, what if something in the process
explained itself in terms of what should be done? What if instead of
a complex set of behaviors to remember, you had only a few simple
habits to remember which would automatically connect you to the
appropriate behavior?

As an example, imagine the case where widgets keep getting in the
gadget drawer and vice versa. You could train people to more
accurately distinguish the two, admonish them to be more careful, and
frequently monitor that they were doing it properly.

But an alternative would be to make the gadgets and widgets
themselves "tell you" where they belong. Perhaps you could color
them: make widgets blue and gadgets red. Then color the widgets
drawer blue and the gadgets drawer red. Now the task can be done
flawlessly without much thought. Just put things in the drawer of the
same color. Not only is the process less prone to error, it takes
much less effort to learn or remember.

I don't have a comprehensive list of clever remedies based on this
principle. I just want to share this idea, and then let you come up
with the plan that works for you. Once you build your own systems,
they can help direct you toward the effectiveness you want.

A calendar or "to do" list is a strategy like this that you are
already familiar with. As you choose your activities for the day, you
rely on the habit of consulting the calendar/list. That is so much
easier than remembering tasks in your head that you already do it (or
know that you should!).

Another strategy is to build habits around specific locations, like
having a specific place for your keys, probably by the front door.
Then as you walk out the door, you are automatically reminded of the
keys. Having a very specific and exclusive place for bills that need
to be paid is another good strategy. Don't abuse it by putting other
important things there in the hopes you will remember them too. You
will dilute the significance of your "bills" location. Just keep it
simple and clean.

Another category of strategies involves anchoring habits to already
existing patterns. If you already brush your teeth every morning, use
that habit to get another important task done too. Put your
medications or vitamins near the sink where you brush and alter the
tooth-brushing habit to include taking pills. This is much easier
than trying to create a new habit. Soon you won't be able to brush
your teeth without automatically reaching for the pill case.

Rick LaVoie relates how he does a three pocket check every time he
exits a building. He checks for his PDA, his cell phone and his
wallet. If he has remembered to always keep them in the same pockets,
this saves a lot of grief later.

Not everything is going to be amenable to these sorts of strategies.
But if enough in your life can be consigned to rote in this way, it
will leave more of your brain available for the things you really do
need to think about. And you may remember to remember those.

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>> PLEASE TELL US <<
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We thank members for their responses to the Newsletter. Any comments,
suggestions, or criticisms will be greatly appreciated. Please
continue to help us make this newsletter and CHADD of Northern
California more beneficial to you all.

We also invite readers to share their experiences with us and other
members. Please feel free to write to us about anything that you
would like to see published.

You can e-mail your comments to us at Lew@.... Simply
replying to this e-mail will also send your message to the editor.

Lew Mills, Editor

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>> CHADD INFORMATION <<
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About the Newsletter:

The Center of Attention is CHADD of Northern California's bi-weekly
newsletter. The newsletter is designed to keep you up to date with
CHADD of Northern California's activities and updates in the field.

* CHADD Works to Improve the Lives of People with
Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder through Education, Advocacy,
and Support *

Contact:

--

Lew Mills, PhD, LMFT
Editor, "Center of Attention"
CHADD of Northern California, Chapter # 504
mailto:Lew@...
http://www.chaddnorcal.org/newsletter
Fax or Voice Message: 510-291-2950
Toll Free 888-759-9758