=== Center of Attention ===
Newsletter of CHADD of Northern California
Also at: http://www.chaddnorcal.org/newsletter
16 February 2004

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>> IN THIS ISSUE <<
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*Calendar of Events
*Feature Article: Think Different Differently
*Please Tell Us
*Subscription Information
*CHADD Information

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>> CALENDAR OF EVENTS <<
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Contra Costa - 2/17/2004, Tues. 7 - 9 pm
Danville Adult Meeting: Fears and Prejudice -- Topic followed by
Group Discussion
Los Cerros Middle School Library, Danville - Contact: Dana: 925-886-8735
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Marin - 2/17/2004, Tues. 7-9pm
Adult Support Group, with SueZee Poinsett, Professional coach and
organizer. -- Free, drop-in peer-support group. Talk with others who
really understand. And share and develop life skills.
Marin Community Mental Health, Greenbrae - Contact: Beverlee: 415-789-9464
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Santa Clara - 2/18/2004, Wed. Reg: 7pm, Meet 7:30pm
Silicon Valley Adult, Parent and Spouse Support Groups -- Separate
peer-facilitated groups let you share struggles and strategies with
each other. Includes video.
Friends Meeting House, Palo Alto - Contact: Silicon Valley Warmline:
650-949-5472
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Napa - 2/19/2004, Thu. 7 - 9 pm
Adult, parent and spouse support group -- Focusing on education, ADHD
strengths, and strategies to manage the challenges of ADHD.
St. John's Lutheran Church, Napa - Contact: Karen Shepard:
707-257-8113, or mailto:ksnapa@...
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Yolo - 2/19/2004, Thu. 7:00 pm to 8:30 pm
County Meeting - TBA -- CHADD welcomes all with interest or concerns
regarding attention deficit disorder. An extensive library of books,
articles, tapes and videos will be available for browsing and
check-out at 7:00PM with a refundable deposit.
Davis Branch, Yolo County Library, Davis - Contact: Yolo County
CHADD: 530-750-3929 or online at
www.chaddonline.org/chapters/chadd295.html
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San Francisco - 2/23/2004, Mon. 7:00 - 9pm
Adult Success Group -- Share skills and strategies for success at
home, in the workplace, in relationships, etc. (It's a good idea to
call to confirm dates, get ideas on parking. etc.)
First Unitarian Universalist Church, San Francisco - Contact: Rachel
Rosenfeld: 415-362-7227
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Contra Costa - 2/24/2004, Tues. 7 - 9 pm
Danville Parent Meeting: Concerns about ADHD? -- Topic followed by
Group Discussion
Los Cerros Middle School Library, Danville - Contact: Dana: 925-886-8735
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Santa Clara - 3/3/2004, Wed. Reg: 7pm, Meet 7:30pm
Matt Stubblefield, MD --
Friends Meeting House, Palo Alto - Contact: Silicon Valley Warmline:
650-949-5472
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Santa Clara - 3/4/2004, Thu. 7:15 p.m. - 9:30 p.m.
Kitty Petty ADD/LD Institute - "Gaining Control Over Distraction From
The Inside Out; A Sensory-Perceptual Approach" -- Donna Hughs, M.S.
will explain exercises she has developed which can counteract
distractible or overfocused perception through the building of more
centered, flexible, and coherent ways of using vision and hearing.
Friends Meeting House, Palo Alto - Contact: Kitty Petty ADD/LD
Institute: 650-329-9443 or visit www.kpinst.org/
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Marin - 3/9/2004, Tues. 7-9pm
Coping with Adult ADD - Barbara Berman, PhD -- Learn new ways of
dealing with ADD stressors. Barbara has a private practice in Corte
Madera. 415-499-7655.
Town Center Corte Madera Community Room, Corte Madera - Contact:
Beverlee: 415-789-9464
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Santa Clara - 3/9/2004, Tues. 7:15 - 9 pm
Support Group for Partners! -- Support and community-resource
information for the partners of folks with ADHD. PLEASE NOTE: This is
NOT a support group for people with AD/HD, nor for couples, nor for
parents. It is EXCLUSIVELY for PARTNERS of people with ADHD, and
others will have to be turned away.
Friends Meeting House, Palo Alto - Contact: Gina Pera: 888-759-9758
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Alameda - 3/10/2004, Wed. 7 - 9 pm
Tri-Valley Parent Support Meeting --
Thomas J. Hart Middle School, Pleasanton - Contact: JoAnn Matone: 925-484-2173
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Contra Costa - 3/10/2004, Wed. 7-9 pm
Antioch Parent's Support Group - Topic TBA -- For parents and
caregivers of children with AD/HD offering the opportunity to share
stresses, strategies and successes.
Sutter Delta Medical Center, Antioch - Contact: Colleen Ruddock: 925-757-2372
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>> FEATURE ARTICLE <<
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The following article has been published with kind permission from
Lew Mills, PhD, LMFT, a Bay Area psychotherapist working with
Attention Deficit in Adults.

Think Different Differently

What is the most universal appeal in commercial advertising?

OK, yes, sex. Sure, I'd like to believe that the model in the beer ad
is really flirting specifically with me. But really, our culture's
most beckoning appeal is to be "different." The Apple Computer
campaign, advocating that you "think different", exploits it directly.

In the now famous 1984 ad, Apple positioned itself as the colorfully
creative athlete against a sea of grey lethargy, the warrior of the
people who prevails against the machine. Sarah Stein's site has a
great analysis of the ad and its cultural context, from which I have
borrowed quite a bit. You can go see the ad and commentary at:
http://www.uiowa.edu/~commstud/adclass/1984_mac_ad.html/

You can also see the ad on the Apple website, but in a perverse
Orwellian desecration, Apple has now revised the historic ad by
painting in an iPod on the colorful woman runner.

In the original, with the contrast of color against the grey, the
Apple ad reflects the imagery of the Wizard of Oz. You remember that
all the pretensions of Oz are a smoke screen designed to hide from
you the fact that you have had a brain, a heart and courage all
along. Once the pretense of the Wizard is broken, Dorothy finds her
way to who she really has been all along. Even wicked witch-like
bullies are powerless to coerce her now. She has succeeded in being
different and finding her true place in the world.

Of course, in the commercials exploiting this theme, the levels of
irony are confounding. The appeal to individuality is
quintessentially universal. There is hardly a more common desire than
to be uncommon. Wrapped in an advertising campaign, the notion that
you can be different is broadcast to millions of people at the same
time. Did you think they made that $1.6M ad just for you? And a
corollary to the notion that you are different is that you have
choices. But did you notice that it was all part of a plan to coerce
your purchasing decisions?

This issue of being different subsumes the issues about the
attractive model in the beer ad. Do you know why she is flirting with
just me, and not the millions of other viewers of the ad? Because I
am different, special. If I recognize that she is simultaneously
flirting with millions of other people, her appeal to me dissipates
instantly. But no, I am easily convinced of what I want to hear: I am
special.

So what's so special about being special?

Recently, I was surprised to see how this plays out in the realm of
ADHD. A journalist was doing a story on the advertising of ADHD
treatments to parents. In one ad, the key idea was that treatment
could bring the child's and the parent's lives back to "normal." That
made perfect sense to me.

A normalizing treatment suggests that it remediates a difficult
condition, such as ADHD. But perhaps only someone who is different
can appreciate the value of being normal. Normal is appealing in the
way that being "regular" is appealing when you watch a laxative
commercial. Ask someone who is irregular how that works for them.

The journalist was incredulous that "normal" is a good thing to be.
To this journalist, whose profession is paid for by those commercial
messages about being different and special, the idea of promoting
"normal" seemed very stifling. Why would someone want to be normal?
Shouldn't the parent be thrilled that their child might be special?

But the word "special" has some funny twists to it. Few kids in
Special Education will tell you that there is anything special about
it. Most yearn to return to the "normal" classroom. "Special" might
as well be a euphemism for stigmatized.

So how is it that we have these two opposing views on the merits of
being different and special?

Another Apple ad drives the point home. The voice over says, "Here's
to the crazy ones, the misfits, the rebels, the troublemakers, the
round pegs in the square holes, the ones who see things differently.
They are not fond of rules and they have no respect for the status
quo." As images of Einstein, Ghandi and John Lennon pass by, the ad
goes on to equate their craziness with genius and human progress. It
is truly moving. Incidentally, it sounds like something of a symptom
list for ADHD.

A frivolous parody of the ad brings home the real message. By using
the same voice over and displaying images of infamous sociopaths, it
pulls back the curtain on our real attitudes about deviance. Do you
know how many people with ADHD, untreated, live in our jails?

Special is good if you prevail. But if you fail, it is just "weird"
and wrong. If you don't manage to pull out some act of genius, push
the human race forward and change the world, (as the ad says), you
get a different response.

So what is a Dorothy to do? I think she is a much stronger character
than, say, Ariel, the Little Mermaid. Ariel rebelled out of a vain
desire for unattainable human trinkets, an improved standard of
living and a handsome sailor. Hans Christian Andersen originally
wrote a much more grim end for her. As a just punishment for her
vanity, she was reduced to sea foam. Disney rescued her from that
fate, to go on and sell millions of Ariel trinkets to children
infatuated with the same idealized mythology of being a little rebel.

Dorothy took a very different route about being different. Though she
was clearly an unusually high-spirited Kansas farm-girl, she did not
strive simply to be different. She set out to find herself. When she
found out who she really was, the other answers came much more
easily. And what she cherished most was to be back home.

So what is Dorothy's message? Though our culture romanticizes being
different, "different" is not really the point. Although the folks in
the ads are certainly very unique sorts of people, that is surely not
what they set out to be. What sets them apart is the courage they had
to be the people that they already were.

We do them and ourselves a disservice in romanticizing the
"different" in them. Should we happen to fall for the push to rebel
for the sake of rebellion ourselves, we would have gotten their
lesson exactly wrong.

If you are different, there are a lot of role models of how you can
come to terms with it, accept it, and make the best of it. It may
even put you in that unique league of world-changers. If you are not
so different, there is much to celebrate. Idealizing those who
struggle with being different is not particularly attractive, and it
is likely to distract you from what you are truly able to contribute.
You too can join that elite group who change the world, though your
approach may be on a different path.

If you think your life can be enriched by the people who are
"different", try choosing some that are not yet recognized. Einstein
was just a typical genius. Find a different genius in someone who
doesn't know it yet. Without building it into an idealized fantasy,
help that person see who they really are. That would be different.

Nobody should waste their energies on tragic dreams of marrying
princes, studying to become a genius or otherwise romanticizing
"different." Remember Dorothy, there is no place like home. Everyone
is waiting for you back there.

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>> PLEASE TELL US <<
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We thank members for their responses to the Newsletter. Any comments,
suggestions, or criticisms will be greatly appreciated. Please
continue to help us make this newsletter and CHADD of Northern
California more beneficial to you all.

We also invite readers to share their experiences with us and other
members. Please feel free to write to us about anything that you
would like to see published.

You can e-mail your comments to us at Lew@.... Simply
replying to this e-mail will also send your message to the editor.

Lew Mills, Editor

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About the Newsletter:

The Center of Attention is CHADD of Northern California's bi-weekly
newsletter. The newsletter is designed to keep you up to date with
CHADD of Northern California's activities and updates in the field.

* CHADD Works to Improve the Lives of People with
Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder through Education, Advocacy,
and Support *

Contact:

--

Lew Mills, PhD, MFT
Editor, "Center of Attention"
CHADD of Northern California, Chapter # 504
mailto:Lew@...
http://www.chaddnorcal.org/newsletter
Fax or Voice Message: 510-291-2950
Toll Free 888-759-9758