Center of Attention
Newsletter of CHADD of Northern California
Also at: http://www.chaddnorcal.org/newsletter
13 October 2002

CHADD Works to Improve the Lives of People with
Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder through Education, Advocacy,
and Support

===== In This Issue =====

About the Newsletter
Calendar of Events
Feature Article: My Story
Please Tell Us

===== About the Newsletter =====

The Center of Attention is CHADD of Northern California's bi-weekly
newsletter. The newsletter is designed to keep you up to date with
CHADD of Northern California's activities and updates in the field.
It's a step toward bringing the members closer together.

======== Calendar of Events ==========

============================
Marin - 10/14/2002, Mon. 7-9pm
Affordable Counseling- learn about the four main counseling agencies
in Marin that offer psychotherapy at sliding scale. Learn about the
services they offer for ADHD, depression, anxiety, substance use
disorder, etc. for adults, couples, families, parents, children,
teens. -- Note: different day & location from usual: Marin General
Hospital, main auditorium, first floor. Conjoint meeting with NAMI.
Marin General Hospital, Corte Madera - Contact: Beverlee: 415-789-9464
============================
Marin - 10/15/2002, Tues. 7-9pm
Drop in Support Group -- for Adults with ADHD and Significant Others
Marin Community Mental Health, Greenbrae - Contact: Beverlee: 415-789-9464
============================
Santa Clara - 10/16/2002, Wed. Reg: 7pm, Meet 7:30pm
Silicon Valley Adult, Parent and Spouse Support Groups -- Separate
peer-facilitated groups let you share struggles and strategies with
each other. Includes video.
Friends Meeting House, Palo Alto - Contact: Silicon Valley Warmline:
650-949-5472
============================
Yolo - 10/17/2002, Thu. Lending Library 7:00 pm; 7:15 pm to 8:30 pm
County Meeting -- CHADD welcomes all with interest or concerns
regarding attention deficit disorder.
Davis Branch, Yolo County Library, Davis - Contact: Yolo County
CHADD: 530-750-3929
============================
**** - 10/17/2002, through 10/19/01
Partners For Progress: 15 years of giving hope, changing lives! --
CHADD Fourteenth Annual Conference on Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity
Disorder
Fontainebleau Hilton Resort, Miami Beach, FL - Contact: See Website:
www.chadd.org/webpage.cfm?cat_id=14
============================
San Francisco - 10/19/2002, Sat. 2-4:30pm
LD and/or ADHD Accommodations -- A workshop by educational therapist
Steven J. Corelis for teachers and parents, will focus on challenges
to the student in the classroom; student response to challenges; what
the law says; and accommodations, strategies, modifications,
compensations. (All programs at the SFPL are free)
San Francisco Public Library, San Francisco - Contact: SFPL Resource
Collection for LDs: 415-557-4540
============================
San Francisco - 10/21/2002, Mon. 7:00 - 9pm
Adult Success Group -- Share skills and strategies for success at
home, in the workplace, in relationships, etc.
CPMC Pacific Campus, San Francisco - Contact: Rachel Rosenfeld: 415-362-7227
============================
Online - 10/23/2002, Wed. 6-8:00 PM PST
Wendy Richardson - Eating Disorders, Addiction, and ADHD --
CHADD Online Chat, Internet - Contact: Message Line: 510-291-2950
============================
Marin - 10/23/2002, Wed. 9:30-11:30am
Parent Informational Resource and Support Group -- Call First...
30 Catalpa Ave., Mill Valley - Contact: Victoria Vogel & Holly
Seerly: 415-383-6048
============================
Santa Clara - 10/23/2002, Wed. 7:15 p.m. - 9:30 p.m.
Kitty Petty ADD/LD Institute Meeting -- Discussion of and sharing
successful ADHD/LD strategies and coping skills with other like
ADDults
Friends Meeting House, Palo Alto - Contact: Kitty Petty ADD/LD
Institute: 650-329-9443 or visit [a href="http://www.kpinst.org/"
target="_blank"]www.kpinst.org/[/a]
============================
San Francisco - 10/24/2002, Thu. 7-9pm
Helping Parents to Advocate for their Child within the School System.
-- Janine Matteson, MFT, is a marriage and family therapist, as well
as a resource specialist in the present day school system. CHECK
location: This meeting is in Dining Room A, across from the cafeteria.
CPMC Pacific Campus, San Francisco - Contact: San Francisco Warmline:
415-442-1944
============================
Sacramento - 11/5/2002, Tues. 6:45 p.m.; 7-9 pm
AD/HD and Women's Issues -- Speaker: Cass Brown, PhD.
Sutter Center for Psychiatry, Sacramento - Contact: Greater
Sacramento CHADD: 916-552-1557
============================
Contra Costa - 11/6/2002, Wed. 7-9 pm
Walnut Creek Adult Topical Meeting: Establishing Priorities --
Kaiser Mental Health, Walnut Creek - Contact: Donna Love: 925-687-4324
============================
Santa Clara - 11/6/2002, Wed. Reg: 7pm, Meet 7:30pm
Medications -- Dr. Sanjay Jasuja, author of "A Book on Stress, ADD &
Parenting" and "Out of Chaos!" will speak on the subject of
medications.
Friends Meeting House, Palo Alto - Contact: Silicon Valley Warmline:
650-949-5472
============================
Sonoma - 11/6/2002, Wed. 7 - 9 pm
Sharing and Support. -- Bring your concerns, questions and
experiences. Everyone is welcome, including parents, spouses and
significant others -- diagnosed and undiagnosed.
Kaiser Hospital Building, Santa Rosa - Contact: Sonoma Warmline: 707-765-4863
============================
San Francisco - 11/6/2002, Wed. 7:30pm
Women's ADD Support Group -- Please Call Lynn to confirm times and
locations before attending.
CPMC Davies Campus, San Francisco - Contact: Lynn: 415-621-1078
============================
Marin - 11/12/2002, Tues. 7-9pm
Overcome Procrastination, Learn to Prioritize. -- Speaker: Deborah Lancastor
Town Center Corte Madera Community Room, Corte Madera - Contact:
Beverlee: 415-789-9464
============================
Alameda - 11/13/2002, Wed. 7 - 9 pm
Tri-Valley Parent Support Meeting --
Thomas J. Hart Middle School, Pleasanton - Contact: JoAnn Matone: 925-484-2173
============================

===== Feature Article ======

My Story
By L.T.

When I saw a therapist friend of mine to find out if he had any
suggestions for the anxiety I was having, as well as an inability to
finish projects, he decided to ask me some questions before telling
me the usual remedy for anxiety.

I should first let you know I was talking to my friend with two
prejudgments I had already made about therapy and medication.

The first was that I was against any medication for things like
depression (everyone gets depressed, right), anxiety (everyone gets
anxious at times), or lack of focus (because a space cadet was a
label I got early on, and I liked how it made me feel apart from the
"norm").

More importantly though I was against any medication because my
family had a pretty bad record with drugs. I'm in AA. I've been sober
for 12 years now. My father was an alcoholic too, and after 18 years
sobriety, started drinking again after abusing prescribed medication.
In two years he was dead.

My sister was prescribed medication for depression, and shortly after
began drinking again. (I think she may have had ADD, and been
misdiagnosed, but I'm no MD). She found sobriety for a while after
that. Unfortunately after a couple of years of sobriety, she went out
and shortly after died.

So I hope you can understand my fear, and disdain for medications for
mental problems. I thought the steps of AA alone would save me. Well,
I waited until I had 12 years sobriety, and found the steps just
weren't enough. I just couldn't shake this feeling of anxiety.

But that wasn't the main reason why I was talking to my therapist
friend. I was talking to him because I could never finish anything.
Well that's not true. I finished a lot of things. I had a BA; I was a
talented inventor, and a hang glider pilot of 12 years. I had skills,
but I could never seem to follow through on most of them. And it was
driving me nuts! I always seemed to have at least five or six
projects going on at any one time. And if a project ran in to any
problems, I would drop it.

I realized I got off on the high of new ideas. It was a rush. But the
high would peek, and then I just wouldn't care as much.

As a person who wants to be a successful inventor, this is a perfect
description of hell. And I was in it. No matter how I tried, I
couldn't get out, until I got to the point of where I was willing to
do anything to get over this problem, including taking medication.

Now, up until that point I considered taking medication equal to a
death sentence, because I only had to look to my family to see the
results of what would happen. Not to mention I had seen many people
in AA go out on medications as well. So please understand that when I
asked my friend about this problem, I was doing it with a huge
portion of dread, and fear, should he recommend that I look to
therapy and possibly medications of some sort.

He asked me to describe how I was feeling. Then he asked me to tell
him a little about my past and growing up. After a short time, he
said, "You know, it sounds like you may have attention deficit
disorder." He gave me a referral to a MD physiatrist, who specialized
in ADD. This really scared me because I had gone to my family doctor
(which I don't recommend), and in two minutes got a prescription for
an anti-anxiety drug. I never could bring myself to fill it though
because I just didn't think my family doctor knew that much about
mental stuff.

Now at the time, here was my opinion of ADD. ADD was for parents who
couldn't handle being parents, and instead, wanted kids who were
doped up enough to calm down enough to look and act almost like
adults. Sorry, did I mention I can be really critical and judgmental
(ha ha)? I only knew one person in another 12 step program (debtor's
anonymous) who admitted having ADD as an adult, and it never occurred
to me that my experience was similar to his.

But at least I had learned in AA if you wanted to take action, that
meant taking action, even if you think it's not going to do anything,
or it's really scary, and/or unaffordable.

So I met with this specialist on ADD, and spent quite a bit of time
answering questions for him about my life, and my behaviors. At the
end of it, he looked up at me and said, "It sounds like you have ADD,
but we'll need to look further to see if there is anything else there
too." He gave me a book "Driven to Distraction", and began to outline
what ADD is, and how it affects both children and adults. He also
mentioned he had ADD too, and so I felt a little better, because I
discovered he understood the feelings.

I was floored. No, let me try and be more specific. I felt the same
feeling that I felt when I stepped into my first AA meeting. He was
speaking my language, to a tee. The lack of focus, inability to pay
attention in social situations and relationships, addiction to- (fill
in the blank here)-, school records filled with "potential", and
little results, restlessness, thrill-seeker, bright, creative,
problems with authority, and quick temper.

These also happen to be a good description of a dry drunk, or sober,
without serenity. This is why I had held out for so long before
seeing someone. I thought I was just flawed, broken. Bright, but
broken.

He recommended medication. I clinched my teeth, and said ok.

I read. I began the medication. I was nervous as hell, because I felt
it was only going to be a matter of time before I went out and got
loaded, and shortly after died. What choice did I have? My back was
up against a wall.

So I was dammed if I did, and dammed if I didn't.

Within two days, the most amazing thing happened though. My critical
self, which held a full-time office in my head telling me how I
wasn't going to succeed and that I was a fine chap who just didn't
have enough drive to get anywhere in life, left. Just plain moved
out, and hasn't been back since.

It was like a ten thousand pound weight was lifted off my head. About
this time, I also saw my projects in a new light. Well maybe I should
say any light, because they now looked as chaotic and scattered as
they really were.

So for the first month, I just put everything on hold, and enjoyed a
vacation from my old self, and discovered another gift of the
medication and therapy: the present.

My mind had always been on alert, waiting for the other shoe to drop,
which is fine if you're in a war zone, which I wasn't. It's like I
had a forest to guard, and was always setting traps. I had always
blamed it on my mother, because that was how she was. But with it
gone, I found I could really enjoy conversations better, the view
better, and that thing I had gone for therapy for in the first place,
focus.

Since I started treatment for my ADD, life has changed quite a bit.
It's not perfect. I still have my problems like any normal person. I
still have to work, and pay my bills, be a dad for my 4-year-old son,
and a husband for my lovely wife. But frankly after all these years
of being on a soapbox about medication and recovery, I'm convinced of
two things.

The first is that I don't have the letters "MD" in my name at all, so
I don't know squat about mental illness, and that unless your name
has an "MD" after it, you might not either. I'm humbled, and sorry to
everyone I've ever spouted off to about the dangers of medication in
recovery. I just hope I didn't contribute to anyone's death over the
years by holding them back from getting help outside of AA. I would
add that it was important (just for me) to have the recovery I had
before seeing a therapist, and beginning any kind of medication.
Medication is great, if needed, and therapy too, but in recovery, the
steps and all the work I've done in recovery have been priceless. But
that's where I stop offering any advice to those in recovery, because
frankly, I just don't know what's good for anyone other than me, and
even there I've been proven wrong more times than I care to admit.

The second is that I have ADD, and I'm a thousand times better now
that I'm doing something about it. And that I'm no longer broken,
just slightly askew.

In fact, I'm so happy how it's changed my life, I started a web site,
to attract and meet other people who have had similar experiences, or
perhaps are wondering if they, or someone they know might have ADD
too.

So like in AA I'll say, "Take what you like and leave the rest." And
if you don't hear your story in mine, but still think you may have
ADD, stick around and read some other folks stories cause you may
find that story that fits yours.

(L.T. is starting a web site for others to share ADD stories. If you
would like to send a story to CHADD Dimples, he will forward it to
L.T. -Ed.)

===== Please Tell Us! =====

We thank members for their responses to the Newsletter. Any comments,
suggestions, or criticisms will be greatly appreciated. Please
continue to help us make this newsletter more beneficial to you all.

We also invite readers to share their experiences with other members.
Please feel free to write to us about anything that you would like to
see published.

You can e-mail your comments to us at CHADD_Dimples@....
Simply replying to this e-mail will also send your message to the
right place.


--

CHADD Dimples
Editor, "Center of Attention"
CHADD of Northern California, Chapter # 504
mailto:CHADD_Dimples@...
http://www.chaddnorcal.org/newsletter
Fax or Voice Message: 510-291-2950
Toll Free 888-759-9758