Center of Attention
Newsletter of CHADD of Northern California
Also at: http://www.chaddnorcal.org/newsletter
2 September 2002

CHADD Works to Improve the Lives of People with
Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder through Education, Advocacy,
and Support

===== In This Issue =====

About the Newsletter
Calendar of Events
Feature Article: Some Demystified Psychology
This Week: New San Francisco Adult Group!
Please Tell Us

===== About the Newsletter =====

The Center of Attention is CHADD of Northern California's bi-weekly
newsletter. The newsletter is designed to keep you up to date with
CHADD of Northern California's activities and updates in the field.
It's a step toward bringing the members closer together.

======== Calendar of Events ==========

Sacramento - 9/3/2002, Tues. 6:45 p.m.; 7-9 pm
Social Skills -- More details at the meeting...
Sutter Center for Psychiatry, Sacramento - Contact: Greater
Sacramento CHADD: 916-552-1557
============================
Santa Clara - 9/4/2002, Wed. Reg: 7pm, Meet 7:30pm
Presentation -- TBA at the meeting.
Friends Meeting House, Palo Alto - Contact: Silicon Valley Warmline:
650-949-5472
============================
Sonoma - 9/4/2002, Wed. 7 - 9 pm
Sharing and Support. -- Bring your concerns, questions and
experiences. Everyone is welcome, including parents, spouses and
significant others -- diagnosed and undiagnosed.
Kaiser Hospital Building, Santa Rosa - Contact: Sonoma Warmline: 707-765-4863
============================
San Francisco - 9/4/2002, Wed. 7:30pm
Women's ADD Support Group -- Attendance usually picks up in the Fall,
so this is your chance to meet some interesting, supportive new
women. Please Call Lynn to confirm times and locations before
attending.
CPMC Davies Campus, San Francisco - Contact: Lynn: 415-621-1078
============================
San Francisco - 9/14/2002, Sat. 9:00a.m.-12:30p.m
Dr. Ruth Serepca - "Executive Processing in Children:
Relationship to Learning and Social Functioning" -- Sponsored by the
International Dyslexia Association. Pre-Registration is Required:
Send a check payable to NCBIDA for $20 (IDA members) or $25
(non-members). Mail to NCBIDA Winter Meeting, 1737 Vallejo St., San
Francisco, CA 94123. With your check, include your name or a list of
the names of people pre-registering so that nametags can be made for
you and your group. NO confirmations will be sent. NO refunds
available.
UCSF Conference Center, Laurel Heights, San Francisco - Contact:
International Dyslexia Association: 650-328-7667 or visit
www.interdys.org
============================
Marin - 9/17/2002, Tues. 7-9pm
Drop in Support Group -- for Adults with ADHD and Significant Others
Marin Community Mental Health, Greenbrae - Contact: Beverlee: 415-789-9464
============================
Online - 9/18/2002, Wed. 6-8:00 PM PST
Ned Hallowell, MD - The Childhood Roots of Adult Happiness --
CHADD Online Chat, Internet - Contact: Message Line: 510-291-2950
============================
Santa Clara - 9/18/2002, Wed. Reg: 7pm, Meet 7:30pm
Silicon Valley Adult, Parent and Spouse Support Groups -- Separate
peer-facilitated groups let you share struggles and strategies with
each other. Includes video.
Friends Meeting House, Palo Alto - Contact: Silicon Valley Warmline:
650-949-5472
============================
Alameda - 9/18/2002, Wed. 7 - 9 pm
Tri-Valley Parent Support Meeting --
Thomas J. Hart Middle School, Pleasanton - Contact: JoAnn Matone: 925-484-2173
============================
San Francisco - 9/23/2002, Mon. 7:00 - 9pm
Adult Success Group NEW!! -- This launches the New San Francisco
Adult group, to be on the third Monday of the month from here on out.
(This one is on the fourth Monday, one time only.) "The first meeting
will be an opportunity to get input from the group on the topics they
would like to cover in subsequent meetings. I want to be the
organizer/facilitator, but get the membership very active in
selecting topics, gathering materials, etc." - Rachel
CPMC Pacific Campus, San Francisco - Contact: Rachel Rosenfeld: 415-362-7227
============================
Marin - 9/25/2002, Wed. 9:30-11:30am
Parent Informational Resource and Support Group -- Call First...
30 Catalpa Ave., Mill Valley - Contact: Victoria Vogel & Holly
Seerly: 415-383-6048
============================
Santa Clara - 9/25/2002, Wed. 7:15 p.m. - 9:30 p.m.
ADD and Procrastination -- Debbie Lancaster, member of Silicon Valley CHADD
Friends Meeting House, Palo Alto - Contact: Kitty Petty ADD/LD
Institute: 650-329-9443 or visit: www.kpinst.org
============================
San Francisco - 9/26/2002, Thu. 7-9pm
Educational Speaker TBA --
CPMC Pacific Campus, San Francisco - Contact: San Francisco Warmline:
415-442-1944
============================
Santa Clara - 9/28/2002, Sat. 9 am to 5 pm
Kitty Petty ADD/LD Institute Meeting -- Empowering Teens
HP Corporation; 19447 Pruneridge Ave.; Bldg 48; Oak Room, Cupertino -
Contact: Kitty Petty ADD/LD Institute: 650-329-9443 or visit
www.kpinst.org
============================
Sacramento - 10/1/2002, Tues. 6:45 p.m.; 7-9 pm
TBA --
Sutter Center for Psychiatry, Sacramento - Contact: Greater
Sacramento CHADD: 916-552-1557
============================
Sonoma - 10/2/2002, Wed. 7 - 9 pm
Pamela LeBlanc, MA, Parent Educator will speak on Parenting Styles
and the Six Goals of Behavior. -- What is your parenting style?
Would you like to learn how to create mutually respectful family
relationships? Can tools like these work in other relationships, like
with bosses, co-workers, or your child's teacher? You bet!
Kaiser Hospital Building, Santa Rosa - Contact: Sonoma Warmline: 707-765-4863
============================
Santa Clara - 10/2/2002, Wed. Reg: 7pm, Meet 7:30pm
Presentation: Dr. Brendan Pratt -- TBA
Friends Meeting House, Palo Alto - Contact: Silicon Valley Warmline:
650-949-5472
============================
San Francisco - 10/2/2002, Wed. 7:30pm
Women's ADD Support Group -- Please Call Lynn to confirm times and
locations before attending.
CPMC Davies Campus, San Francisco - Contact: Lynn: 415-621-1078
============================

===== Feature Article ======

Some Demystified Psychology

In his work with learning differences in children, Mel Levine is
popularizing the idea of "demystification." The notion is that the
more you tell someone about their disability, the better they will
cope with it. It is not enough for professionals to decide how they
will help, based only on their expertise. It makes more sense to
empower the person who is in the front lines, struggling with their
challenges, so that they can make their own appropriate choices.

In this spirit, I want to offer some theory about how people
interact, which you may be able to put to immediate use for yourself
and the people around you. This is "demystifying" some of the social
dynamics that occur around ADHD.

The general category of this theory is called attribution theory, but
you only have to know the following basic rules:

First, we don't usually know why someone else did something and we
are unlikely to ask. Because of this, we guess. Second, our guesses,
about others' motivations and so on, are predictably distorted.
Specifically, we explain the motivations of others differently than
we do our own.

As a tendency, we attribute our own failures or mistakes to specific
circumstances. But other people's failures and mistakes seem to us to
be a product of permanent features about that person. In other words,
we are less charitable with our fellow humans than with ourselves. As
a third rule, we also tend to over-generalize the failings in others
into being a broad pattern of "character." Our own mistakes were a
one-time thing, but the other person's mistake is an indicator of
"how they are" in all realms of their life.

I don't think that these distortions are just a result of the "evil
in people's hearts." Part of it must be because we know less about
that other person. We don't have as much access to their inner
thoughts, which might more accurately explain why they did something.
So we are stuck guessing about people, in a process that emphasizes
character flaws and generalized incompetence rather than specific
circumstances.

Those are the rules of social judgment. And knowing them can help you
out! This theory is very applicable when anyone makes a judgment
about a person who has ADHD. We just can't see from the outside
whether or not someone is "trying as hard as they can" and so on. So
we are inclined to make the common judgments that are made about
people with ADHD: "He can do it sometimes, so I know he is able toŠ",
"She just needs to focus and try harderŠ" and "Don't give in. He is
just making excuses and you will encourage irresponsibility." In
these phrases, we attribute behavior to the ADHD person's "general
bad character."

What makes the situation even more difficult is that the person with
ADHD may be at as much of a loss for an adequate explanation of
himself or herself as the outside observer. They may not have a good
theoretical understanding of exactly what the disability is, and may
not even be a good observer of their own internal states, (a common
symptom). ADHD people become essentially "outside observers" of
themselves.

As a result, the ADHD person's guesses about their own behavior are
also based on ideas of character flaws and a permanent, generalized
incompetence. The person with ADHD will be just as inaccurate and
unfair as the outside observer is. And their remedies may at times be
as misguided and fruitless as those of the other people trying to
help them "improve their character." An adult with ADHD is likely to
tell themselves to "try harder" as ineffectively as a parent does an
ADHD child.

What can you do with this theory? Ned Hallowell often says that we
need to move from "moral" to "medical" diagnoses. We need to
understand how a disability disconnects what someone knows they
should do (in terms of having "good character") and what they can do,
given having ADHD.

If you live with someone with ADHD, now you know that there may be
more going on than you can guess at. You will acknowledge that you
don't really know if someone is "not motivated." With understanding,
it is more likely than you will think that the ADHD person is trying
as hard as they can, and a real disability is getting their way. Even
if you can't see that, you know that your guess is not as certain as
it feels to you.

You may also notice that the ADHD person is equally at a loss to
explain their own behavior to themselves. If they tell you that they
are just lazy, you could remind them that they are only guessing too.
Maybe you will see the evidence that their attribution is not true.
Give them some alternate hypotheses to explain their behavior.

Unfortunately, the human heart is easily fooled into broad judgments
of our fellow humans. More sadly, the heart can become addicted to
self-righteous indignation over the moral failures of others. We are
even too unforgiving of ourselves sometimes. Try to give yourself and
others a chance to see alternative possibilities. Focus on strengths,
keep it specific when looking at flaws, and don't jump to
conclusions. You'll be surprised at what you can do with a little
home-cooked, demystified psychological understanding.

======== This Week ==========

** New San Francisco Adult ADD Success Group! **

This new support group will launch on September 23rd and will be held
on the 3rd Monday of the months moving forward. Peers will share
successes and challenges and in the process learn new skills and
strategies to manage ADD at home, in the workplace and in
relationships. The first meeting is an opportunity to meet other
attendees/members and provide input on the topics to be covered in
subsequent meetings. Members are invited to take an active part in
selecting topics, researching and gathering materials. This will be a
structured group, focusing on practical strategies to move forward in
one's life. There will also be some flexibility within the structure
to meet the needs of members. Please join us to create a dynamic
group serving the City of San Francisco!

===== Please Tell Us! =====

Apologies to all who were expecting this in their e-mail Monday
morning, but the long weekend takes a toll on timeliness.

We thank members for their responses to the Newsletter. Any comments,
suggestions, or criticisms will be greatly appreciated. Please
continue to help us make this newsletter more beneficial to you all.

We also invite readers to share their experiences with us and other
members. Please feel free to write to us about anything that you
would like to see published.

You can e-mail your comments to us at CHADD_Dimples@....
Simply replying to this e-mail will also send your message to the
right place.