Center of Attention
Newsletter of CHADD of Northern California
Also at: http://www.chaddnorcal.org/newsletter
19 August 2002

CHADD Works to Improve the Lives of People with
Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder through Education, Advocacy,
and Support

===== In This Issue =====

About the Newsletter
Calendar of Events
Feature Article: How a Support Group Can Help
Please Tell Us

===== About the Newsletter =====

The Center of Attention is CHADD of Northern California's bi-weekly
newsletter. The newsletter is designed to keep you up to date with
CHADD of Northern California's activities and updates in the field.
It's a step toward bringing the members closer together.

======== Calendar of Events ==========
============================
Contra Costa - 8/21/2002, Wed. 7-9 pm
Walnut Creek Adult General Support Meeting -- Ongoing, confidential
support groups for Adults with ADHD
Kaiser Mental Health, Walnut Creek - Contact: Donna Love: 925-687-4324
============================
Online - 8/28/2002, Wed. 6-8:00 PM PST
Patricia Quinn, MD - Girls, Women, Hormones and AD/HD --
CHADD Online Chat, Internet - Contact: Message Line: 510-291-2950
============================
Marin - 8/28/2002, Wed. 9:30-11:30am
Parent Informational Resource and Support Group -- Call First...
30 Catalpa Ave., Mill Valley - Contact: Victoria Vogel & Holly
Seerly: 415-383-6048
============================
Sacramento - 9/3/2002, Tues. 6:45 p.m.; 7-9 pm
Social Skills -- More details later...
Sutter Center for Psychiatry, Sacramento - Contact: Greater
Sacramento CHADD: 916-552-1557
============================
Santa Clara - 9/4/2002, Wed. Reg: 7pm, Meet 7:30pm
Presentation -- TBA
Friends Meeting House, Palo Alto - Contact: Silicon Valley Warmline:
650-949-5472
============================
Sonoma - 9/4/2002, Wed. 7 - 9 pm
Sharing and Support. -- Bring your concerns, questions and
experiences. Everyone is welcome, including parents, spouses and
significant others -- diagnosed and undiagnosed.
Kaiser Hospital Building, Santa Rosa - Contact: Sonoma Warmline: 707-765-4863
============================
San Francisco - 9/4/2002, Wed. 7:30pm
Women's ADD Support Group -- Please Call Lynn to confirm times and
locations before attending.
CPMC Davies Campus, San Francisco - Contact: Lynn: 415-621-1078
============================
San Francisco - 9/14/2002, Sat. 9:00a.m.-12:30p.m
Dr. Ruth Serepca - "Executive Processing in Children:
Relationship to Learning and Social Functioning" -- Sponsored by the
International Dyslexia Association. Pre-Registration is Required.
UCSF Conference Center, Laurel Heights, San Francisco - Contact:
International Dyslexia Association: 650-328-7667 or visit
http://www.interdys.org
============================
Marin - 9/17/2002, Tues. 7-9pm
Drop in Support Group -- for Adults with ADHD and Significant Others
Marin Community Mental Health, Greenbrae - Contact: Beverlee: 415-789-9464
============================
Online - 9/18/2002, Wed. 6-8:00 PM PST
Ned Hallowell, MD - The Childhood Roots of Adult Happiness --
CHADD Online Chat, Internet - Contact: Message Line: 510-291-2950
============================
Santa Clara - 9/18/2002, Wed. Reg: 7pm, Meet 7:30pm
Silicon Valley Adult, Parent and Spouse Support Groups -- Separate
peer-facilitated groups let you share struggles and strategies with
each other. Includes video.
Friends Meeting House, Palo Alto - Contact: Silicon Valley Warmline:
650-949-5472
============================

===== Feature Article ======

How A Support Group Can Help

By Lew Mills, PhD, MFT; Chapter coordinator and a psychotherapist for
Adults with ADHD in San Francisco.

Maybe you already have someone to talk to about medication. You may
also have a therapist to help you learn new ways of coping with your
or your child's ADHD. What would you want to use a support group for?
How much can a person just talk about these things?

Of course a support group may have been your starting point to set up
some of those resources above. You may have asked others for
suggestions about doctors, school issues and so on. A support group
can even be a source of information on more arcane issues, such as
figuring out what's the latest time of day for taking a medication
without ruining that night's sleep. Often a support group is the
first place you begin to put these things in order. But there is more
to what a support group can do than just sharing information.

Think about a support group in terms of these two different
functions: information and support. For the first -- though a lot of
information is available on the internet now -- none of it has the
interactivity of asking peers and following up with questions to
really develop a first hand sense of how things are in the real
world. Even seasoned hands at ADHD will learn things about the
practical matters of ADHD management. The second, and sometimes
overlooked, function of a support group is the support you get from
and give to others.

Many people do not know how important this support can be. Even when
you are fairly swamped, you can tell yourself that you are getting
along OK. And if you do not need some new information, you may not
see a need for a support group. It may seem that just going and
hearing about other people in the same situation as you doesn't solve
any problems. Maybe it will just make you feel worse, you wonder.

But support goes a lot farther than just blowing of some steam about
your frustrations. Support can have real effects on your well-being,
not just on your "feeling better." Studies of people with very
serious medical problems showed that being in a support group
actually improved their health and chances of survival. That is no
small matter. The mechanisms by which it helps are subtle but
powerful.

One of the key elements of attending a support group is realizing
that what you are going through is not so lonely and unique as it
feels. Many others have been in these same places. Some aspects of
what you are experiencing are universal. Breaking out of your
isolation and connecting with others can be a huge relief.

Support also means that there are others who understand what you are
going through and care about your success. Even though the people at
a support group start out as strangers, they will be involved in your
story just as you will be in theirs. A shared burden feels much
lighter. Furthermore, when you can help others, it empowers you. You
will have been having an experience of not being able to control a
lot of things. Being able to give to others is an area where you do
have a lot of control, and this can be an antidote to some of the
frustration you may experience.

It could be that you have been burdening your friends with some of
your struggles and eventually it starts to feel unequal or that they
are losing interest. Also, they may not understand, even though they
would like to. You can use the support group to lighten up the load
on your other friendships and be in a more equal give-and-take with
your support group peers.

Sometimes it is uncomfortable or intimidating talking about your
troubles with a group of people you have only recently met. But the
mutual support, not to mention the information sharing, can be an
invaluable aide in starting to get your life back on track. Don't
miss out on this opportunity!

See the CHADD schedule for a support group that meets near you. If
there are none, think about starting one. Contact us to find out how
(CHADD_Dimples@...).

===== Please Tell Us! =====

We thank members for their responses to the Newsletter. Any comments,
suggestions, or criticisms will be greatly appreciated. Please
continue to help us make this newsletter more beneficial to you all.

We also invite readers to share their experiences with us and other
members. Please feel free to write to us about anything that you
would like to see published.

You can e-mail your comments to us at CHADD_Dimples@....
Simply replying to this e-mail will also send your message to the
right place.