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I am delighted to give a positive update on my
status, maybe useful guidance to friends, and some HOPE to those fighting the
disease.
My status today is generally described as stable
– this is absolutely wonderful news.
The remaining liver lesion is slightly smaller and a
very small lung lesion is slightly denser but unchanged in size. At one stage I
had eight sizable lesions in the liver and one in the lung – growing at a
rate of about 30% every 6 weeks. In short I owe my life to the Hospital, plus
to BCHC and The Journey healing practices – and my family. My Prof
believes that the holistic measures I have taken are the reason for my body
managing to control a disease that, given my condition, would usually have
taken me in just a few months.
I have sent emails before, sometimes to tell people I
have cancer and avoid the same repeated questions and dreadful replies that
inevitably arise, sometimes to update friends on the wonderful news that I have
received unexpectedly – time and time again. I have also tried to help
other poor souls who are fighting the disease, to give them some handles on
life and HOPE – and also to maybe cause a moment of contemplation on just
how precious and wonderful our moment is.
Below is a greater missive – Today I send it
out widely because you are friends and just maybe there is something in there
that may help you now or in the future, or maybe one of your friends.
Suggestions are always welcome.
Melanoma is one of the cancers which is regarded as
‘uncurable’, scientific research work continues and life
expectancies are extending. I am in awe of the devotion of those helping
suffers fight the disease.
To my cancer contacts I sign off ‘Love and
Healing‘ – I see every reason to send that same message to you also
Love and Healing
Ian
Example
of covering Email
Subject: FW: FW:
[melanoma] New Here
A few comments
I read an interview in an Easyjet flight book - a few months after
being given a terminal diagnosis of just six months - given December 19th 2003
(Happy Christmas!)
Interviewer to dot-com millionaire:
'So you were lucky then?'
Dot com millionaire:
'Yes I was lucky - I made my own luck'
There ARE things he can do - the white coats do wonders but they do not
know why I am alive over two years later – statistics mean nothing for
one person - my last scan was stable with just one lesion out of 9 or 10 (that
was when I had just a few weeks left - just under 2 years ago)
My recommendations
When you hear of a little child aged 3 - Sammy - dying from cancer -
then you appreciate just how lucky you are. When you see a small being, scaly
grey skin, matted hair and you look furtively a second time and then realize it
is a child aged about 10 - then you stop being sorry for yourself - these are
starting points for change
Bristol Cancer Help Centre run a residential 2 day course (cost for 2
would be c £600 - but what is life worth? - this was my 'turning point'
Change diet
Reduce stress
Enjoy the gift of life
Meditate regularly
Some lucky ones say prayer works
I regularly go to a meditation session at St Michaels Sanctuary, Church
Street Ewell - the sessions are most Friday mornings from 10 a.m. to c 12 - we
tend to bring along snacks for sharing afterwards - he would be welcome -
contribution towards costs is £10
I am happy to receive calls or emails
Love and Healing
Ian
01372 377321
Leatherhead,
Below email to another friend:
From: Ian Dixon
[mailto:Ian.Dixon25LR@...]
Sent: 05 October 2005 22:06
To:
Subject: FW: FW: [melanoma] New
Here
Hi Christine
I remember people saying –
‘sorry to hear your news’
and I grinned and beared it and felt like
saying –
‘Your not half as sorry as I
am’
– so I will instead just say welcome
to the huge band of people fighting the ‘beast’. You have awoken to
the fact that we are all terminal (most through age) – today is the first
day of the rest of your life – may you have many joyous and beautiful
days ahead
I know it is a shock, but remember that
for many cancers most people do survive – OK chemo, etc is not fun
– but it is worthwhile
But also be aware that ‘they’
– the oncologists and doctors – who try so hard – do not
always understand or ‘know’ why some respond and others do not. I
am convinced that we can change the odds in our favour.
I am not saying that I ‘know’
– just that in my position – well the prognosis was so bad I was
open minded to most things – and have sifted through piles of emails,
websites and journals – the email below is the best I can offer for
sources of support.
Obviously hopefully you are stage 1
– i.e. the cancer is localized. The stages go up to stage IV –
‘dead and dying/untreatable’ – I suspect it is most unlikely
you are other than stage 1. I was (and probably am) stage IV
Christine – I know what it feels
like – I have been there – and attached is my story and below my
suggested sources of help
As you are local there are two further sources
that you may wish to consider
Losely in
Friday mornings occasionally I go to
meditation in Ewell – and I found this sort of meditation hugely welcome
– the group is small and is not just cancer patients. The person who runs
it is a journey practitioner – Marion – and is very supportive.
Some aspects feel are a bit cranky – but they have a logic which I doubt
I understand linked to acupuncture – anyhow they are fun, and I see no
harm in them and possibly some good – so I feel it worth a try. If you
are interested let me know and you can come along with me if you like. They
charge £10 a go – start at 10.00 a.m. on a Friday and finish at 12.
Generally we all take some carrots/humus/snacks and have a shared lunch
together. I happen to be going this Friday.
Please do give me a call if you wish a
chat – or would like just to pop over for a cup of tea – talking
about it really does help
Love and Healing
Ian
From: Ian Dixon
[mailto:Ian.Dixon25LR@...]
Sent: 04 October 2005 08:27
To: 'Valerie'
Cc: '
Subject: RE: FW: [melanoma] New
Here
Valerie
I live in the
http://www.bristolcancerhelp.org/
Alternatively there is the Gerson Diet
- or more an approach to cancer itself – I gather that costs around
$4,000 per year but it is a credible therapy that many believe does have an
impact in so many cases
http://cis.nci.nih.gov/fact/9_7.htm
http://www.gersonsupportgroup.org.uk/
Much cheaper is to subscribe to a new
charity here in the UK Canceractive – I have only recently found their
journal ‘Icon’ but it seems to me to be so useful - annual
subscription here is c $45 p.a. for four issues. I am actively trying to help
them as it is a charity and is giving clear and consistent messages which
conform to my own learnings.
But I would also seriously consider
meditation – even if just to try a session or two. Personally I have
found it to have a profound effect – clearing away unhelpful emotions
(anger, rage, grief, STRESS) and replacing them with positive emotions (joy at
the beauty of life, appreciation of the priority of love, a belief/hope that the
mind can induce the body/immune system to fight the cancer). I do go to a
journey therapist – I have been on one course and attended two more as a
volunteer helper. I have seen them in practice and I would recommend this also
http://www.thejourney.com/ourpractitioners.html
My strategy is to proceed cautiously but
with an open mind – and take a few gambles that might help but that have
few costly risks. Who knows?
Love and Healing
Ian
Normal Missive:
Diet, Cancer and scientific thinking
The purpose of this note is to record and analyze
‘unanswered’ questions relating to my own cancer, the various pieces
of advice received and to postulate how that advice relates to bodily response
to cancer therapies. It includes a number of ‘personal judgments’
for cancer patients to discuss with their medical advisers.
My background was scientific at ‘A’ level and subsequently
has been in financial and limited general management. Whilst having a deep
allegiance to the scientific view that ‘effects’ result from
‘causes’, I also am accustomed to managing situations where the
future and variables are unknown and therefore ‘strategies’ have to
be put into place.
Unanswered Medical questions
include:
-why did you get cancer?
-why did your skin cancer come back after 12 years rather than 5, or
20?
-is my so-far-successful and unusual response to both chemotherapy and
immunotherapy as a result of ‘good luck’ or other factors? And if
the latter, what factors?
I am not in a position to give ‘answers to these questions, but I
can record ‘my personal experience before recurrence’. Maybe we can
undo the incentives for cancer to grow? Plus I consider the medical and
non-medical responses to my question ‘what can I do? And two further
questions:
-what is a ‘healthy diet’? and should this contain vitamin
supplements?
-what role does stress play in the recurrence and cure in a cancer
patient?
MY CANCER AND ITS RECURRENCE
both are anomalous – I have always taken care with sun exposure, and
I moved straight from NED following stage I to stage IV 12 years later
– with a cancerous lymph node under an arm and 6 metastases in the liver.
Recurrence followed an extended period of extreme workload stress and also a
dietary change. Metastasized melanoma is a particularly difficult cancer to
treat – prognosis is terminal.
Stress before recurrence:
The organization within which I worked has a governing body of Trustees who
formed the view about 6 years ago that radical change was essential for the
organization within which I worked as Finance Director. Around that time,
mainly due to the ‘repetitive’ nature of the work combined with a
lack of opportunity for travel – I had experienced ‘stress’
caused by the dullness of my workload which I had totally under control plus
the tedium of daily travel. ‘Change’ as it effected me started with
a Finance ‘outsourcing study’ – a classic example of where
‘consultants’ whose mantra is of large organizations, tried to
force an inappropriate and inefficient system onto a small and highly diverse
organization. Personally I am biased towards change, maybe too much so, but
this study was against my advice and, after a period of about a year where all
our jobs were ‘at risk’ – my judgment was vindicated.
Following this quickly came a period of merger-mania. Again, and twice in quick
succession, CEOs advised all job were at risk as a result of potential mergers
– my cancers became apparent four months after a merger. Personally I
‘feel’ that workload stress was a key factor in the recurrence of a
cancer that had a very low probability of recurrence. An eminent Melanoma
specialist, a Professor, commented to me when I first met him ‘I do not
THINK stress caused the cancer to return, I KNOW stress caused the cancer to
return’.
Dietary change before recurrence:
For some time our organization had a restaurant as an employee perk. Due to the
financial difficulties the organization was encountering under different
CEO’s, it was decided to modernize employment practices and close the
restaurant. Again this occurred four months before my cancer recurred.
Previously in the restaurant, because my weight had been increasing, I daily
ate lots of vegetables, in particular I had larger than normal portions of
broccoli because I liked it and it is not fattening. I mention this because I
have subsequently had broccoli recommended to me on frequent occasions and
indeed cancer brochures highlight that this vegetable contains a very good
variety of vitamins and minerals. Following the closure of the restaurant, I
tended to eat cheese or ham sandwiches. As I frequently worked late, I tended
to eat cheese and bread at home in the evenings. This diet became boring albeit
it was quick and convenient. With home and work pressures, quick and convenient
won over!
When I asked WHAT CAN I AS A CANCER
PATIENT DO? advice received, broadly in date order, was as follows:
-have a healthy diet (oncologist)
-eat slightly less meat (oncologist)
-look at your health holistically, reduce stress and eat a vegan diet
(Bristol Cancer Help Centre)
-there is a volume of dietary recommendations from virtually everyone I
know, plus from cancer patients I am in touch with electronically. The
interesting thing about this advice is that it is very consistent!
-referral to a series of articles in the New Scientist (by my eldest
daughter) and to various TV documentary programs (e.g. Horizon).
My interest in finding answers to ‘what can I do?’ was
increased by the fact that hoped-for cancer trials did not materialize in time
with the result that I was placed upon ‘bog-standard’ treatment
programs following advice by oncologists on 19th December 2003 that:
-you WILL die of this cancer
-you have six months, maybe a year
-the medical therapies ‘will not increase your longevity’
The latter two pieces of advice were clearly wrong. I am alive on
Having said this, my position today is still perilous – one
cancer in the liver (down from nine) persists and is probably now resistant to
chemotherapy, and the hidden after effects of chemotherapy linger on, albeit
hopefully the body is gradually detoxifying itself. As to whether I WILL
die of melanoma – that remains to be seen, although I am aware that
‘scientifically’ the probabilities remain extremely high.
But the purpose of this record is NOT to criticize the oncologists (who
I respect highly and who are doing a very difficult job) or to blame others or
myself for the recurrence. Instead it is an attempt to nudge forward thinking
and to provide information and provoke thought for others battling cancer.
So – WHAT DID I DO?
I felt I needed to understand ‘diet’ and cancer and there
was not much sensible guidance around – so I booked myself on a course at
the Bristol Cancer Help Centre (which my employer subsequently paid for) two
months after the diagnosis.
But first consider the stress caused
by a diagnosis of cancer.
Before I go further, consider this example: people watching television
easily imagine the stress that hostages in
The Bristol Cancer Help Centre approach is meditation and to convey a
holistic approach to cancer treatment. On the first morning of guided
meditation, when relaxing and just allowing emotions to surface, I collapsed
into uncontrollable tears of grief. For two months I had continued to
operate fairly normally, working normally and just trying to improve diet and
‘eat slightly less meat’. I am not prone to breaking down or to
crying, especially in front of others. Indeed this was probably the first time
I had cried for decades. I record this as there are some therapists that
believe the release of suppressed emotions is a key part of removing the causes
of cancer. For the benefit of other cancer patients - there is no shame in
crying, indeed I was advised at the Bristol Cancer Help centre that it is quite
normal.
The unexpected release of suppressed emotions through crying has
occurred unexpectedly several times since then. Last Autumn at a church service
and ‘healing session’ again I was surprised as hidden emotions
surfaced and unexpectedly I cried. Again recently at a meditation, emotions
surfaced as I talked of recent battles and deaths and I cried. Each time I
‘felt’ so much better after than before – I felt I had more
energy, I was able to do more and feel in control. I do not
‘meditate’ or attend church as regularly as maybe I should. I am
now aiming to meditate at least twice a month.
I listened to suggestions on dietary
change and read articles on the relationships between diet and
health.
Inevitably this record is ‘subjective’ and if I were to try
to detail each fact or reference it would become so much more difficult to read
and therefore would be less likely to be read.
Everyone agrees a healthy diet can only help. Oncologists feel unable
to ‘recommend’ what a healthy diet is as ‘scientific
studies’ have not yet provided ‘proven’ results. But WHY DO
SOME PEOPLE RESPOND TO MEDICATION, WHEREAS OTHERS DO NOT?
I do not believe diet alone is the sole factor, hence my reference to
stress above and my implied recommendation to take stress therapy - probably
through meditation. But I do believe that diet is also an essential element to
success as follows:
INCLUSION - if our bodies do not ingest all the necessary nutrients
(call them vitamins or minerals or whatever), our immune systems and remedial
responses may not work properly.
EXCLUSION - if our bodies are stressed by our diet or lifestyle habits
(smoking, alcohol, drugs, ‘binging on chemicals’, etc) then our
bodies may not respond to the medications
DIET INCLUSION i.e. what to include and how to
include it.
Clear cut advice on what to include is fairly consistent – a
broad range of fruits, vegetables, proteins, etc. All agree that going to a
supermarket and selecting a wide range of fresh fruits, nuts, pulses and
vegetables of widely varying colours is good for you.
Less clear is whether ‘organics’ are worth the extra money.
A New Scientist article mentioned that the content of some rarer essential
vitamins and minerals were up to six times higher in organic produce. My
judgment – my life is on the line, and I am willing to afford organic
produce or take the trouble to buy from a farmer’s market.
Also less clear is whether the wide variety of ‘curing
plants’ do help or not. To list a few: garlic; green tea; ginseng,
Echinacea, lemon grass, liquorice, honey,
The list is ever expanding. My judgment – take each occasionally,
maybe they might have essential nutrients that our bodies may be deficient in
and need or can use in the battle.
What is contentious is vitamin supplements. A BBC Horizon program
referred to a number of research projects including one which was aborted as
vitamin supplements actually increased the incidence of cancer, even though
there was a large amount of evidence, or some correlation, that lack of those
vitamins increased the incidence of that cancer. My judgment is that daily
inclusion of a ‘one-a-day’ vitamin supplement may be
counter-productive – especially where one takes the trouble to ensure the
diet is balanced. I therefore take a ‘one-a-day supplement maybe once a
week, thereby enabling my body to correct any deficiencies without any binge
overload. I also have a question in my mind as to whether the method of
ingestion in the form of a tablet is sensible. Tablets may create chemical
‘spikes’ which may be unhelpful, so I try to ensure I take the
vitamin supplement with food.
Certain vitamin B's reportedly help in the
battle with cancer. I do eat marmite daily and observe that contains vitamin
B12.
Omega’s are proclaimed as helping to battle against cancer. They
can be taken in liquid form (but I am cautious about binging) or
naturally within oily fish. My judgment – to take a lightly baked wild
salmon once a week.
Nuts, pulses and seeds advisedly contain protein and, if cutting down
on meats, it is important to maintain protein and calcium levels. My judgment
is to snack on a mixture of nuts and dried fruits such as raisins.
I add Soya to this list, but I will refer to this under
‘exclusions’.
I would also refer to pro-biotic yoghurt. Daily ingestion of
harmful bacteria, tummy troubles plus the various cancer treatments have
digestive implications. This seems a sensible way of helping restore a healthy
balance.
One further and important inclusion is WATER. Being properly hydrated
makes a big difference to the efficiency of the body. Drinks containing alcohol
or caffeine do not properly hydrate, so instead I drink either just plain
water, juices or the occasional ‘teas’ such as ‘apple
and ginger’ or ‘liquorice’ teas sweetened with honey (I
dislike normal tea or green tea).
EXCLUSIONS are
equally contentious, and I will approach this by considering chemical
exclusions as a whole.
Medical advice tends to relate to alcohol (moderation) or to smoking (stop)
and is based upon scientific studies.
‘Binging’ on any chemical must be bad – whether it be
those within alcohol, salt, pesticides, orange juice, garlic or whatever. The
body has NEEDS but I sense it suffers if it is overloaded by any extreme
imbalance (medical advice is a ‘balanced’ diet – but they do
not refer patients to a dietician). It is just possible that some products,
such as garlic, may have healing properties – but that is for the medical
profession to find out, so my judgment is ‘avoid binging’ an
anything.
SUGAR is commonly accredited as a cause encouraging cancers to grow.
‘Sweets’ and refined sugars are so tempting and are a form of
‘binging’. My judgment – cut them out, with only the
occasional desert/sweets. Instead I buy a 70% cocoa low-sugar chocolate and
bulk out smallish pieces with nuts. I substitute honey for sugar in teas. I
look for deserts (e.g. fruits salads or baked apple stuffed with raisons,
dates, almonds and honey) which are free of added or refined sugar.
MILK PRODUCTS (including CHEESE). I had always thought of these as
‘healthy’. What is true is that many cultures cannot drink milk
– their bodies cannot cope. What I have also read is that the human
digestive system is well designed to digest milk up to the age of about 4 or 5
but then it changes. It is also obvious that adults do not suckle. My judgment
is that MILK itself is not a natural adult foodstuff and should be eliminated
as should cream, yoghurt and cheese (all artificially produced from milk) and
especially cooked cheese in pizzas, etc. My logic is that this is so far off
what our animal bodies are designed to ingest, it should also be excluded.
In place of milk products, and this is another gamble, I use Soya
produce which is widely proclaimed as being harmful to cancer but I suspect has
not had a sufficient history to prove it case entirely.
PESTICIDES in food and other chemicals that we eat or inhale are
potentially harmful. Some products (e.g. farm grown salmon, shrimps, crabs) are
advisedly high in pesticides and PCBs and too frequent eating of these is not
recommended. My judgment is to use organic fruits, vegetables, fish and meats
as much as possible which should be pesticide free and to avoid any environment
where I may inhale chemicals (e.g. I do not paint the house indoors for
example). Again this area we make our own decisions, this is mine.
ANIMAL FATS I avoid. I eat less meat but only lean meat and
occasionally.
CONCLUSION
The medical profession do not agree on what caused my cancer, why it
returned and they do not know why I have responded so well and against such
impossible probabilities.
The diagnosis of CANCER is a trauma.
The only factors that I can identify that may have caused my cancer to
return and may have caused my good progress so far are
-stress and stress management (including meditation)
-dietary change
I believe that if our bodies have been losing on one battlefield, then
we should move to another and try to set the odds in our favour. Maybe we
cannot cure ourselves with stress management and dietary change, but I believe
that WE CAN influence whether the drugs work – and just sometimes that
will make all the difference.
I conclude there is HOPE even in the most frightening of stages.
Finally I would add that I am deeply grateful for the many who have
guided me or included me within their prayers.
Ian Dixon
critique, suggestions, comments and feedback appreciated
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