Angi,
I have late-onset CAH which wasn't diagnosed until I was an adult. Looking back, I realize that I did have some feelings of confusion during the time that I was obviously symptomatic but not yet diagnosed. With treatment, my hormone levels are all normal and I feel ...right. I think that the gender confusion, symptoms, etc. mostly come with untreated CAH.
By the way, I have twin girls too. Mine will soon be 13. It's fun, isn't it! My girls don't have CAH but we're seeing an endocrinologist because of possible growth problems. It's hard to really know whether their short stature is inherited or another problem because my growth was stunted from untreated CAH.
Try not to worry.
Becky