Hello all.

First I must thank you all for all you have written. It has helped me get
through alot of issues I've been dealing with. Thank you!
I am 44 yrs. old and about to have surgery. It is a test where you place nodes
on the outer layer of your brain and they will try to find out where my seizures
are originating. I am scared to death on so many different levels I can't
believe I'm still going through with it. Don't ask me why But all I can see is
the old Frankenstein movie with Igor and all the electricity. I don't feel like
I will come back the same person. I know this isn't right but I can't get it out
of my head. Ha no pun intended. I also have a 6 yr old daughter. She is one of
the main reason I am doing this to begin with. She deserves so much better than
I am giving her. I haven't actually told her when the date is but she knows
something is going to be happening with me and my head. She tries to overhear as
much as she can. She knows I will be going to the hospital to try to fix my head
and I will be coming back bald. My hair now reaches my butte. I couldn't tell
you the last time I cut it. I am trying not to think about that at all. It will
grow back (I KNOW). I also have a fiance that I've been with for about 23 yrs.
We love each other very much and he has been there for me through everything. I
didn't begin having seizures till I was about 35 yrs old. It has destroyed our
lives. We both have very good educations and we aren't allowed to pursue our
careers because of me. I know he is scared to death too but he won't tell me. He
really doesn't want me to do it but I must if we are at least going to try to
get our lives back. When Dr.s first told me about this I admit I wasn't very
cooperative. I did everything I could to push it off. So the time is now. My
seizures have been changing too. They've been happening during the day alot more
often.
So now, I am writing this and don't really know what I am trying to say but I
know someone out there has been through the same thing and has some words for
me. I would love to hear them. Thanks again!

Nancy