Hubby has been wonderful!! When I was in the ER and they were
prepping me for surgery, he actually acknowledged that he already
knew I was going to need to see a therapist. He said that he knew I
would long before that, when we did the pregnancy test, because I
was HYSTERICAL then. Managed to hold it together (no idea how)
until the repeat trauma at childbirth, but then I literally crumbled
and fell to pieces.

No one else, other than the therapist I saw, has any clue though.
And they will be even more clueless about his birthday being an
anniversary, I'm sure. No idea how to approach it or how I will
react, since family will be in from out of state - family with no
boundaries and not an ounce of empathy/compassion. I love them
dearly, but my family is NOT AT ALL supportive emotionally!

Thank you for sharing your experiences of your anniversaries, it
does help to know others have gone through this and that the
intensity does ease a bit with time.

I can certainly relate to the trauma being about safety. When I was
seeing my therapist she would tell me over and over that I was safe -
for the longest time I could not hear her, and it took longer to
believe her. Right now, I am having to repeat those words "you are
safe" to myself over and over. Although I'm not sure how/why, it
seems like I may already be going through some kind of trigger
reaction related to the upcoming anniversary.... confusing to me....
I don't know if it's because family is so focused on the day w/
constant conversation about travel and what gifts the baby
wants/needs or what.....

Just thinking of it approaching is about doing me in, and I am going
through memory after memory, almost like snapshots flashing through
my head, but with more emotion connected to them.

Feel like I stopped seeing my therapist a bit prematurely perhaps,
or that I at least may need to go back, but our insurance does not
cover her, and we have already spent a substantial amount out of
pocket for my previous sessions - really need the money we have for
other things..... Hate that!!