Kelli

Just out of curiousity, how old is Conner?

Okay, so my child is so not where yours is as far as playing with
other children, so we haven't had such issues yet. I would be angry
too with the other parent, even if your child is NT, this type of
behavior should be discussed immediately. I also would be ticked
that the neighbor didn't come to you first, but to another neighbor.
Maybe she needed to discuss how to approach you on it, but
still...we are adults and should act like them!!!

I know of other parents with NT kids 4-6 or so that have tried the
naked thing as well. So, it does seem to be a normal part of
development (how cool for conner-kinda, my kid seems to pick up
the "normal" behavior that I wish she wouldn't too...like fighting
with her brother,etc). The incident I was thinking of happened
between 2 kids who had stripped waist down and were jumping on a
bed. The one parents of one child were convinced that the other
boy's parents should take him to counseling b/c they were sure he
was being sexually abused. The boy's mom tried to tell them too that
this was normal, but they wanted to hear nothing of it. Eventually,
it was forgotten (and she did speak to her son about when it was
appropriate to be naked, etc). Maybe in time it will be forgotten
for you and the neighbors as well?=)

Have you tried any social stories with him to help drive the point
home? I just read something today that some new social stories were
coming out on video for kids that learn better that way. Let me know
if you are interested in the info.


heather


--- In BCautism@yahoogroups.com, "kelli6395" <kelligibson@...> wrote:
>
>
> Ok Gang, I don't usually start topics, but, I just had a situation
> arise, with one of my neighbors regarding my son Connor who has
> Asperger's. Connor hasn't wanted to go over and play with the 2
> neighbor kids the past few days, and at first I thought it was
> because he had a new ceiling fan installed in his room (which is
> always exciting)LOL, but, just this evening, while retrieving our
> other 2 boys from over there (they ran over to play just as we got
> home from dinner), as I was crossing back over there yard, the
> woman, finally approached me and said "I wanted to talk to you"!!
> You know that is never good!! She said that Connor was no longer
> allowed over to play with her kids, as the other day, when he was
> over, he had been pulling his pants down, and encouraging the
others
> to do so as well!!
>
> This is not a new thing for Connor, but, he just acquired this
> new "innapropriate behaviour" this summer, as he has been spending
a
> lot of time in my mother's neighborhood, playing with a MUCH older
> group of boys!!! I believe this has been some of the activity
going
> on in this group, and where he "acquired" this new impulse!!
> Probably trying to fit in with the older kids, and of course, if
> he's told by them to do it, he will!!! So he is now, trying it
with
> other kids!! Frankly, it's no different than some of the activity
> that went on in my very own neighborhood when I was his age! Yes,
> we were a "show me yours and I'll show you mine" group of kids!!
> I'm not weirded out by it, as to some degree, it is a normal part
of
> growing up!! Wow, did I just say normal, about a spectrum kid????
> LOL Anyway, I realize the importance of teaching kids why it
> shouldn't be done, and the inappropriate nature of it, but, I am
not
> a "blind" parent either, in thinking it ain't gonna happen, cause
it
> did when I was a kid, and I turned out just fine!!
>
> My real issue, is that she JUST approached me about it! It
happened
> at least a few days ago, and she's Just telling me now??? Come
on,
> if it had been someone else's kid, I would have first gotten after
> the kid, then dragged them right on their own doorstep and had a
> little talk with the parents!!! Am I wrong in this thinking??
Now,
> although, this has now been discussed and approached with Connor,
> the fact is, she took away my opportunity to strike while the iron
> was hot, and it was fresh in his mind, what he had done!!! This
> angers me to no end!! She was concerned for her children and I
> don't fault her for that, as she has a right to protect her
children
> as well, but to treat Connor as some disgusting sex fiend, for
doing
> something so natural at his age.....well, ok, I'm a bit torked off
> about that attitude!! She acted as if he had commited some MAJOR
> crime!! Deal with it lady....their kids....it's gonna happen!!!
Am
> I wrong? Really?? Tell me! Do I just have too laid back of an
> attitude here or what? It's not like I didn't talk to him and
make
> him understand what was wrong with it, but, I'm not going to tar
and
> feather him for his very NORMAL curiosity either. I think she
> expected me to be totally disgusted and react as if he was a
> criminal, which I didn't. I did however, try to just explain to
her
> about his impulses, and that it's a part of who he is, and that we
> are working with him, in his understanding of appropriate
> behaviour. She in no way wanted to hear it, and is infatic that
he
> is no longer welcome to play there or with her kids!!
>
> I went to the house next to her, as the woman who just moved in,
> happens to have been the boys' "special" bus driver for the past 2
> 1/2 years. She knows them very well, and in driving the special
> needs bus, she is very aware of ASD kids, and their behaviour. I
> asked her if she had any issues with Connor lately, since he just
> started playing with her kids last week, and she had not. She
said
> he has been great. I explained what was happening, and she said
> that this neighbor had approached her and asked her the same
thing.
> Which really erks me more!! She'll ask her NEW neighbor about it,
> but she won't talk to the one person who counts!!!! The
parents!!!
> Fortunetly Nicki is a great gal, and as I said understands ASD
kids
> very well. I told her if she EVER has any issues, first of all,
> nail Connor to the wall about it, then.......COME TALK TO ME!!!
She
> agreed and said that would be her first step anyway. I'm glad
she's
> around now!! It's good to have SOMEONE near who knows the boys
and
> understands a bit more.
>
> OK, that's my rambling....I'm just really torked at the moment, as
I
> can't believe this is happening...well, I believe it....it's
Connor,
> anything is possible, but, I just don't understand these people in
> their treatment of the situation and not telling me right away!!
> Any thoughts???? Am I wrong in my anger or what??
>
> Tresia...if your reading this, any thoughts or ideas on what to
do,
> or how to talk to him to drive home the importance of what has
> happened....I'm about at my wits end!!!
>
> Thanks gang...Kelli
>