Cognitive dissonance refers to mixed signals in communication,
such as Aspies offer to those experienced in picking up info from
body language. If we do not send appropriate signals, gestures
and facial movement that support our words, we send a mixed
message. Mixed messages signal trouble. My words are often
discounted by people who see that my body language seems to
contradict my stated intent. My words do not carry as much
weight as my communication of internal tension or indifference,
as my Aspie mien/manner tends to be dispassionate even when
I'm attempting to convey emotion.

Have you ever been told that your presentation was not
compatible with the situation? I have. My late-life Aspie dx helps
me better understand how it is dismaying to observers that my
face does not reflect inner turmoil or despair. This
INCONGRUITY raises doubts as to my honesty or
trustworthiness with those who are accustomed to picking up
body language signals instead of trusting words. Physical
signals account for 90% of communication, with NTs. Failing to
read such signals -- and failing to send such signals myself in a
way that reinforces what I'm saying -- is part of my Aspie life of
mishaps and failed relationships at work and in personal life
(such as it is).

incongruity
* noun: the quality of disagreeing; being unsuitable and
inappropriate

incongruous
* adjective: lacking in harmony or compatibility or
appropriateness
(Example: "A plan incongruous with reason")
... or an UNreasonable plan...

congruent
* adjective: coinciding when superimposed
... or matching precisely...
* adjective: corresponding in character or kind
...or being like someone/thing as contrasted with being unlike
someone or something, as Aspies are viewed and are treated
as being different or less-than those who think alike.

What is your experience with this aspect of being Aspie? How
have you done in recognizing instances and working around
Aspie traits to circumvent the dire consequences of being judged
to be false or disingenuous as you try to communicate? Has
this affected your personal or professional life? If so, how do you
plan to compensate for that initial Aspie response? Can we do
this? Can we learn (or UN-learn) a habit we formed early in life?
I hope I can. -Zer