Harry, how's life in your part of the world? Autumn colors? We in
SoCal miss a lot of the excitement of the seasons, living in this
temperate clime. Fall in Ohio was scented with burning leaves,
back in a time when we could still burn leaves curbside after
raking them off the lawn. I miss fall scents. And winter is a time
when snuggling close to someone really makes sense to me.

However, I test new friends to see if they can travel solo to meet
up with me -- as it's important to me to have friends who are able
to move independently as well as be 'there' for me when I am in
need of cuddling. Some folks cannot tolerate being alone. They
will not permit ME the space that I need, even in a relationship.
Being validated is great. I think it is not the same thing as being
used as a security blanket for someone who cannot tolerate or
appreciate the solitude of one's own company. I get tweaked
when I hear people describe themselves only in terms of the
roles they play as someone's mate, mother, sister -- and I like to
find out that someone exists independent of such relationships.
Seems to me that anyone ought to have an individual life as well
as a relationship. Is that too Aspie of me? I wonder. -Zer (not in
a relationship -- except with myself -- at the present moment, and
finding THAT almost more of a challenge than I can handle!)

--- In Aspies-Anon#289, HARRYNE@a... wrote:
> zer92781@y... writes: > > Why do folks pair up? How do they
tolerate the tension that I feel when I'm too close for too long to
anyone? < <
>
> Lots of single folks arrive at a point in life wherein they truly
desire the closeness of another person. They must accept the
tension of the closeness as a trade off for the loneliness they
feel in the single state. It is a wonderful feeling to be validated
and to know that your life as a person is not just another candle
to go out in the wind. This closeness is an integral part of
being validated.
>
> My opinion
>
> HES