I'm not an advocate for Asperger's. Not yet. I am very new to AS
and am learning about this dx. I do display positive aspects of
Asperger's, when it seems appropriate to share my delight in a
late-life dx -- after three-score years of confusion at my limited
ability to cope with life, work, career, people, family issues.

I do hit barriers and hurdles. I suspect some of these are of my
own creation or my failing to comprehend social cues. Failure to
fit in makes others wary. It's the herd instinct thing. I'm aware that
people draw back when I display my own thinking or take a stand
that strikes them as contrary to their own expedient style. Style?
It's a word that describes a behavior pattern that may well conflict
with the norm, the standard, the herd's instinct to preserve
themselves by blending in together, not stand out.

I've learned to adjust my goals, when I find myself locked out or
when the goal I have set my sights on moves farther away with
each effort I make to advance my cause. I just adjust my goals.

I've been used as a pawn, then thrown aside when my service
was no longer needed. It's an awful thing to experience. I was
really excited to be invited to apply for a position, to be shown the
inside track, to know that no matter who else applied I would be
favored. What a heady experience that was! Then, when it all fell
apart, after the difficult task was performed and my presence
was no longer welcome, I did not know to bow out and depart. It
seemed to me that I had to stand up and fight for the job. BAD
MISTAKE. The politics was set against me from the get-go. My
mentor was a weak man who was frightened of the skills I own.
His agenda was horrifying to me, so I took steps to protect my
person and reputation from being soiled by his private agenda.
Sticking around cost me a career that I really enjoyed. It is no
more. I lost that job and had little stamina to find other work with
no job reference to fall back on or to offer a new employer. Hurts.
Still hurts. Had I known then that I am Aspie, I think I might have
claimed protection from the actions taken against me. I did not
know then why I was so vulnerable. In retrospect, I did heroic
things in attempting to defend myself. I can see that now. I lost,
but I sure tried my best to hang on, in spite of horrible events.

This was written in response to questions about the difficulties
one encounters as an Aspie. I felt that some of this might be
pertinent to a discussion on this list. Feel free to respond. -Zer