Bonnie, I've been striving to be very clear with people who are
inclined to assume that I have someone to take care of me, to go
get things or to drive me places. Health-care providers are bad
about this sort of presumption. I've found that I must be very very
clear with them, so that I do not end up incapacitated on my own.
There are some medical procedures that require aftercare. If we
cannot do for ourself, we must ask for proper care from the very
folks who do 'outpatient' surgeries and send folks home too fast.
Had a neighbor who was very sick with a surgery that went bad.
She was home alone and ought to have been under medical
care for possible problems. It was scary for all of us who knew
her and were not competent to give her the care she needed.

People presume a lot. It is important to be very clear about one's
needs, rather than to take it for granted that all needs will be met.

I hope you found a way to manage your own needs, without help
from your partner. I guess we all ought to be working on a web
of friends who are willing to share support services. Eeek! -Zer
(who has no knack for weaving such a support network!)

--- In Aspies-Anon#201, C B Bonham <cb_bonham@y...> wrote:
> That's what happens.
> People will treat you differently when you are no
> longer coupled with a boyfriend or partner.
>
> When I had surgery I asked to spend a day or two in
> the hospital to recover because I knew my husband
> wouldn't take care of me. The doctor said he couldn't
> authorize hospital stay because policy said if a
> patient lives with someone it is assumed they will be
> taken care of.
>
> It's not that you were focused on your boyfriend
> rather everyone else was focused on him.
>
> Now that you are separated from him everybody sees you
> as a woman alone and no longer a unit with your
> boyfriend.
>
> May things continue to improve for you.
> Sometimes good things happen when a certain person
> enters our life.
> Sometimes good things happen when a certain person
> exits our life.
>
> ~Bonnie