Hi Becca,

Hope you get some well needed relief with the aid of these meds. Funny I
was told at one point my depression was causing the pain! This was just
one angle they threw at me since they couldn't seem to help with the
pain. I took antidepressant drugs for a while but now a few years later
I don't seem to need them anymore. The pain is still just as bad but I
don't seem to be as overwhelmed by it with regard to my moods. I agree I
felt very distant with these drugs, there's no set dose and everyone is
different so it takes a long time to find the right drug and dose for the
most benefit. It was best for me to keep track of my pain level as I
went through this treatment since that was why I was getting treatment,
if the pain level did not improve I felt we were going in the wrong
direction. Sure I could feel relaxed and foggy but if the pain was still
preventing me to do anything what was the point?

I think kids are pretty resilient when it comes to our suffering, it's
easy to feel like we're letting them down by not being able to provide
them with the things we would like because of the pain. The up side is
they learn how to care for someone that is sick and learn how to be
gentle. In these days of such a brash world around us, learning a little
compassion can do them a lot of good. My son who is nearly 19 can hardly
remember a time when I was not in constant pain, sure there are lots of
times I wish could have been different but such is not the case.

Jeff

On Mon, 10 Feb 2003 07:39:32 -0000 "lellah62 <lellah62@...>"
<lellah62@...> writes:
> I am now taking two kinds of pain meds, muscle relaxers, anti-
> depressants, valume, sinus medication and migrain meds. I feel like
> a
> walking medicine chest. I have to take meds every few hoours and am
>
> still in pain most of the time. My back doc doesn't want to give me
>
> anything stronger because he thinks I will become addicted to them.
>
> He expects me to just sit here in pain and learn to deal with it. I
>
> am calling my regular family doc tomorrow to see if he'll give me a
>
> referall to see a pain managment doc that I used to see. Maybe then
> I
> will get some relief.
>
> My shrink says that my anxiety and depression is being caused by all
>
> the problems I am having with my back. He upped my doses of my
> valume
> and Paxil to see if the paxil will help at all. If it doesn't we
> will
> have to try something else. I feel so out of control that it is
> driving me nuts.
>
> I keep losing my concentration and find myseld daydreaming a lot
> lately. It feels like I live in a fog most of the time and I cant
> remember even simple daily tasks that need to be done unless I leave
>
> myself notes all around the house. I keep hoping that this will get
>
> better but I know it probably never will. I just want to live a
> relativly normal life and be able to do things with my kids that
> other parents get to do. I want to give them the world and I cant
> even take them for simple walks. I feel like I have cheated them out
>
> of so much that I wish I could give them.
>
> I want to feel positive about something in my life and everytime I
> try all I can see is what I cant do instead of what I can. I want to
>
> find hope again. I want to live my life to the fullest and not be so
>
> afraid that I will hurt myself. I need to learn how to cope and I
> cant seem to see how anyone could. If any of you have any ideas I'm
> open for any suggestions. I need all the help I can get.
>
> Becca
>
>
>
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