Your piano!!!!! Yay!!!!! Are you looking forward to it arriving Nicola?

Kate

At 09:34 PM 10/15/04, you wrote:

>The fear of change has always been a big thing for me, nothing good can come
>of it, the pain involved would be horrendous, I could not cope at all with
>even the thought of it until quite recently.
>
>Since leaving my husband about 2 and a half years ago I have moved 7 times
>and 4 of those moves were this summer alone so I thought I was finally at
>the stage of 'laughing in the face of moving' until this morning when I was
>tapping for a friend who is particularly stressed out at the moment because
>of an imminent rather sudden need to move and thought I would try helping
>her out that way until I got to the end of the round, took a deep breath,
>felt my whole body relax and let go and realised how stressed I had been
>myself.
>
>I then looked around the room and realised why. I had moved the furniture
>around yesterday to make space for the arrival of my piano today and my desk
>was now facing another direction (overlooking the sea, how terrible!) that
>was all it was, getting used to a new layout in my room.
>
>I just laughed and did a quick round of
>
>Even though I'm the funniest person I know...

Hi Nicola,

I have two sisters too. :)

Yea, I think the core issues for me are abandonment and aloneness. If
anything I have more issues being around people now, Im doing my own thing
all the time now, being close is my biggest issue now. But I still think at
the core is feeling on my own, even aruond other people.

Kate

At 09:02 PM 10/15/04, you wrote:

>Hi Kate,
>
>What really helped me most was dealing with the being alone fear, until I
>had done that nothing else could happen because while it was still there I
>needed people to do stuff for me and used my anxiety to control everyone
>around me.
>
>I really was terrified at the thought of being all alone and now I am and I
>love it, in fact I spend a lot of my time dealing with the frustration of
>being interrupted by visitors and people needing me and my attention but
>maybe that's just a variant of my dependence on them at one time, hmm, must
>look into that.
>
>It's always amazed me at people's stories and just what they have been
>through and how little I appeared to have suffered, apart from the hospital
>abandonment I don't remember any friction or rows in the household just have
>a vague remembrance of being bored a lot of the time and on my own even
>though I had 2 sisters and moving out at 17 to try and find a bit of
>excitement I think more than anything else, but I never felt unloved and my
>parents seemed to very proud of me, whatever I did, so it seems strange that
>I should have suffered the way I have with panic attacks, maybe abandonment
>is the key and at the core of anxiety.
>
>So with that in mind, I want everybody here to do a round of:
>
>Even though I was abandoned I deeply and profoundly accept myself.
>
>And report back on your findings, and if you feel anxious about saying
>anything please tap on that too.
>
>Lovely to see you hear Kate and thankyou for your story.
>
>Love,
>
>Nicola

The fear of change has always been a big thing for me, nothing good can come
of it, the pain involved would be horrendous, I could not cope at all with
even the thought of it until quite recently.

Since leaving my husband about 2 and a half years ago I have moved 7 times
and 4 of those moves were this summer alone so I thought I was finally at
the stage of 'laughing in the face of moving' until this morning when I was
tapping for a friend who is particularly stressed out at the moment because
of an imminent rather sudden need to move and thought I would try helping
her out that way until I got to the end of the round, took a deep breath,
felt my whole body relax and let go and realised how stressed I had been
myself.

I then looked around the room and realised why. I had moved the furniture
around yesterday to make space for the arrival of my piano today and my desk
was now facing another direction (overlooking the sea, how terrible!) that
was all it was, getting used to a new layout in my room.

I just laughed and did a quick round of

Even though I'm the funniest person I know...

Nicola
---
Outgoing mail is certified Virus Free.
Checked by AVG anti-virus system (http://www.grisoft.com).
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Hi Kate,

What really helped me most was dealing with the being alone fear, until I
had done that nothing else could happen because while it was still there I
needed people to do stuff for me and used my anxiety to control everyone
around me.

I really was terrified at the thought of being all alone and now I am and I
love it, in fact I spend a lot of my time dealing with the frustration of
being interrupted by visitors and people needing me and my attention but
maybe that's just a variant of my dependence on them at one time, hmm, must
look into that.

It's always amazed me at people's stories and just what they have been
through and how little I appeared to have suffered, apart from the hospital
abandonment I don't remember any friction or rows in the household just have
a vague remembrance of being bored a lot of the time and on my own even
though I had 2 sisters and moving out at 17 to try and find a bit of
excitement I think more than anything else, but I never felt unloved and my
parents seemed to very proud of me, whatever I did, so it seems strange that
I should have suffered the way I have with panic attacks, maybe abandonment
is the key and at the core of anxiety.

So with that in mind, I want everybody here to do a round of:

Even though I was abandoned I deeply and profoundly accept myself.

And report back on your findings, and if you feel anxious about saying
anything please tap on that too.

Lovely to see you hear Kate and thankyou for your story.

Love,

Nicola




>
>
>
> Hi there,
>
> Thanks for starting this group Nicola, I didn't know about it until I saw
> Silivias post on her list.
>
> Im Kate, I live in Christchurch New Zealand.
>
> I am currently dealing with anxiety/depression and after what would be
> described as 20 or more years of going to therapy, learning alternative
> healing, energy therapies, nutrition, what feels like everything, I now
> have gone on antidepressants. Im finding them quite good, Im on a
> low dose,
> I only take half a tablet, and theyre a light antidepressant Im told as
> well, they only last in your system for 17 hours.
>
> I felt very unsure going on antidepressants after having used EFT
> etc for a
> few years. I felt like a failure. But theyve definately lifted me up to a
> place where Im not feeling so fragile and sensitive and crying all the
> time. Ive only been on them 4 weeks and most of the side effects
> have gone
> but Im still a bit spaced out and my thought process has slowed down, but
> my best friend said thats maybe not a bad thing. LOL
>
> I started having panic attacks at age 16. I came from a no talk, no feel
> family, my parents are and were workaholics and were very strict.
> My father
> was very domineering and my mother was a doormat. When I was 18
> months old
> I was put into hospital for 6 weeks, tied to a bed in isolation. I
> remembered this in a rebirthing session years ago and my mother verified
> it. I had very bad nappy rash as a child, probably had a milk
> allergy, and
> they turned into ulcers and they didn't know if I had a virus or
> not so put
> me in isolation. So, this being 1962 and as per Nicolas experience, my
> mother wasn't allowed with me. I was also in hospital at age 2 1/2, 4, 8
> and 10. I think the abandonment from these times was horrendous and still
> underlies alot of my issues. I also believe that if I came from a
> talking,
> feeling family a huge amount of this could have been healed.
>
> So at 16 I started avoiding school, I think this was brought about from
> being madly in love with a guy I didn't think would accept me
> with scars on
> my legs. I was never supported or told I was beautiful and that
> anyone who
> had an issue with my legs didn't deserve my friendship. (The emotional
> damage was far worse than how they look) I was always treated
> like I was a
> problem, I was the family scapegoat. Image was a huge thing in my
> family, I
> like the term impression management. So with that obsession to detail and
> perfection, how could a scarred girl measure up?
>
> I went to Australia age 18 for 2 years and was sexually abused by
> my boss,
> this lead to more panic attacks while on public transport on my
> way to the
> job, and then I came home and suffered agoraphobia and depression. After
> going to a horrible therapist I made the decision that I was going to get
> better no matter what and not long after met my husband to be. I
> really hid
> in him, focused on him, and he was abusive, mentally, physically,
> sexually
> and emotionally. I lived with him for 15 years, and having two
> children, he
> had affairs all the way through my relationship, I felt like I was the
> fucked up unit as fear was a huge factor in my life and I was
> damaged goods
> to begin with, I then did a monkey swing and started a
> relationship with my
> current partner who is very gentle soul, but distant.
>
> The last few years Ive felt physically safe, I have managed to change
> around alot of patterns of perfectionism, but 2 years ago I had
> an abortion
> and I have basically taken a downward slide into depression and
> anxiety and
> reclusiveness. Being a dedicated person to healing I tried everything,
> worked through so many issues from my childhood, saw that by not wanting
> this baby it brought up how I felt in my own childhood, worked through so
> much, but still the anxiety/depression was there.
>
> I dont feel supported in this relationship emotionally, hes there
> physically, and is kind and safe, but I feel Im only now knowing what its
> like to ask for help and not be responsible for everyone and everything,
> without feeling Im worthless and worthy of only abandonment. My
> ex husband
> is still I feel controlling me by what he doesn't do, I have the
> boys with
> me and he plays power trips with them and me. So I find it very hard,
> having been sick also with anemia, to bring up the boys and do what it
> takes to raise them.
>
> I feel highly dependent on my children to help me out and I dont
> like that
> at all. I want my power back and my life back and some autonomy again. I
> was worried about my relationships with my kids, but theyre age 19 and 16
> and my youngest son and I were talking the other day and he said
> he thought
> I was great and the best mum in the world, I said but Im always sick, and
> reliant on you to do things, he said, I dont care about that,
> youre always
> there to talk to and help me. He even wants to hang with me. So, in
> thinking I have to be picture perfect to be a good mum, and after feeling
> griefstricken for two years, and thinking Im a right off, they think Im
> great. I suppose these past few years Ive appreciated them far more and
> realised how precious they are after the abortion, and this has
> brought me
> around to being someone who I wouldn't have been if Id carried on
> being the
> E woman, everything to everyone, but nothing to myself and feeling like a
> robot.
>
> Kate
>
>
>
>
>
> Yahoo! Groups Links
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> ---
> Incoming mail is certified Virus Free.
> Checked by AVG anti-virus system (http://www.grisoft.com).
> Version: 6.0.776 / Virus Database: 523 - Release Date: 12/10/2004
>
---
Outgoing mail is certified Virus Free.
Checked by AVG anti-virus system (http://www.grisoft.com).
Version: 6.0.776 / Virus Database: 523 - Release Date: 12/10/2004

Hi there,

Thanks for starting this group Nicola, I didn't know about it until I saw
Silivias post on her list.

Im Kate, I live in Christchurch New Zealand.

I am currently dealing with anxiety/depression and after what would be
described as 20 or more years of going to therapy, learning alternative
healing, energy therapies, nutrition, what feels like everything, I now
have gone on antidepressants. Im finding them quite good, Im on a low dose,
I only take half a tablet, and theyre a light antidepressant Im told as
well, they only last in your system for 17 hours.

I felt very unsure going on antidepressants after having used EFT etc for a
few years. I felt like a failure. But theyve definately lifted me up to a
place where Im not feeling so fragile and sensitive and crying all the
time. Ive only been on them 4 weeks and most of the side effects have gone
but Im still a bit spaced out and my thought process has slowed down, but
my best friend said thats maybe not a bad thing. LOL

I started having panic attacks at age 16. I came from a no talk, no feel
family, my parents are and were workaholics and were very strict. My father
was very domineering and my mother was a doormat. When I was 18 months old
I was put into hospital for 6 weeks, tied to a bed in isolation. I
remembered this in a rebirthing session years ago and my mother verified
it. I had very bad nappy rash as a child, probably had a milk allergy, and
they turned into ulcers and they didn't know if I had a virus or not so put
me in isolation. So, this being 1962 and as per Nicolas experience, my
mother wasn't allowed with me. I was also in hospital at age 2 1/2, 4, 8
and 10. I think the abandonment from these times was horrendous and still
underlies alot of my issues. I also believe that if I came from a talking,
feeling family a huge amount of this could have been healed.

So at 16 I started avoiding school, I think this was brought about from
being madly in love with a guy I didn't think would accept me with scars on
my legs. I was never supported or told I was beautiful and that anyone who
had an issue with my legs didn't deserve my friendship. (The emotional
damage was far worse than how they look) I was always treated like I was a
problem, I was the family scapegoat. Image was a huge thing in my family, I
like the term impression management. So with that obsession to detail and
perfection, how could a scarred girl measure up?

I went to Australia age 18 for 2 years and was sexually abused by my boss,
this lead to more panic attacks while on public transport on my way to the
job, and then I came home and suffered agoraphobia and depression. After
going to a horrible therapist I made the decision that I was going to get
better no matter what and not long after met my husband to be. I really hid
in him, focused on him, and he was abusive, mentally, physically, sexually
and emotionally. I lived with him for 15 years, and having two children, he
had affairs all the way through my relationship, I felt like I was the
fucked up unit as fear was a huge factor in my life and I was damaged goods
to begin with, I then did a monkey swing and started a relationship with my
current partner who is very gentle soul, but distant.

The last few years Ive felt physically safe, I have managed to change
around alot of patterns of perfectionism, but 2 years ago I had an abortion
and I have basically taken a downward slide into depression and anxiety and
reclusiveness. Being a dedicated person to healing I tried everything,
worked through so many issues from my childhood, saw that by not wanting
this baby it brought up how I felt in my own childhood, worked through so
much, but still the anxiety/depression was there.

I dont feel supported in this relationship emotionally, hes there
physically, and is kind and safe, but I feel Im only now knowing what its
like to ask for help and not be responsible for everyone and everything,
without feeling Im worthless and worthy of only abandonment. My ex husband
is still I feel controlling me by what he doesn't do, I have the boys with
me and he plays power trips with them and me. So I find it very hard,
having been sick also with anemia, to bring up the boys and do what it
takes to raise them.

I feel highly dependent on my children to help me out and I dont like that
at all. I want my power back and my life back and some autonomy again. I
was worried about my relationships with my kids, but theyre age 19 and 16
and my youngest son and I were talking the other day and he said he thought
I was great and the best mum in the world, I said but Im always sick, and
reliant on you to do things, he said, I dont care about that, youre always
there to talk to and help me. He even wants to hang with me. So, in
thinking I have to be picture perfect to be a good mum, and after feeling
griefstricken for two years, and thinking Im a right off, they think Im
great. I suppose these past few years Ive appreciated them far more and
realised how precious they are after the abortion, and this has brought me
around to being someone who I wouldn't have been if Id carried on being the
E woman, everything to everyone, but nothing to myself and feeling like a
robot.

Kate

Hi Tammy,

You can find the protocol at http://nicolaquinn.com

You'll know things are working because you take a simple reading from 0 to
10 before each round of tapping then check it again afterwards so you will
know exactly how different you are feeling.

Nicola




> -----Original Message-----
> From: Tammy [mailto:catnut1@...]
> Sent: 11 October 2004 21:49
> To: Anxiety-Help-With-Nicola@yahoogroups.com
> Subject: [Anxiety-Help-With-Nicola] Re: newbie
>
>
>
>
> I can't find your website but did find abit about EFT.  I always have
> low energy so how am i supposed to know when i feel ok after trying
> this?
>
>
> >
---
Outgoing mail is certified Virus Free.
Checked by AVG anti-virus system (http://www.grisoft.com).
Version: 6.0.773 / Virus Database: 520 - Release Date: 05/10/2004

Hi Johanne,

Yes, it is good to have a place we can discuss our anxiety and be very
welcome.

Drugs didn't work for me, when I was under, artificially calmed, I knew
there would be a kick back when they wore off and I'd be worse the next day
which I always was, and neither did cognitive behavious therapy, though I
guess it must work for some or they wouldn't still be doing it (?) They were
good at telling me what I should be doing but failed to tell me how; just
that if you do something enough you will get used to it which I didn't find
at all helpful.

Practice tapping and reducing your SUDs level for physical sensations,
really get used to using it.

Try keeping your anxiety levels down as low as possible during the day by
doing a round very first thing for how you feel when you wake up then try
and preempt problems by tapping as things crop up, when they are still
manageable and before they spiral out of control.

A round of tapping takes moments so experiment with different opening
statements. There was a good one in your post:

This panicky pressure build up in my stomach

Eventually you won't need to do the whole round but will get to recognise a
few points that help you most and you will find yourself just tapping those
at the first signs of rising anxiety.

And that's the great thing about EFT, once you've got the hang of it you
find you don't need to avoid things anymore, in fact you end up welcoming
them as a chance to practice!

Nicola



>
>
>
>
> Hi Everyone,
>
> It's great to hear from other people who also experience panic attacks
> and anxiety problems. I don't really have any one else I can talk to
> about my anxiety issues as, firstly, I often find it hard to talk to
> people anyway (without becoming anxious), and secondly I find it
> embarrassing and it makes me feel inadequate- and ashamed if I'm honest.
>
> I suppose I also assume it's not the kind of thing that other people
> want to hear about or discuss as they might find it awkward.
>
> I have been prescribed various drugs from my doctor over the past few
> years- since it's been bad enough that I actually went and asked for
> help. None of the drugs have helped at all, and if anything they have
> at stages created other problems with side effects and made things
> worse. I was placed on a waiting list to receive cognitive therapy
> treatment but have still not heard back from anyone. Is this treatment
> likely to work? Are there better alternatives? Other than prescribed
> drugs this is the only treatment I had really heard about until
> discovering this group.
>
> I have just started to read the 'EFT Protocol' mentioned here and
> would definitely like to find out more about this as it seems to have
> helped others here. Is there anywhere else I can get more information
> on the EFT treatment?
>
> The worse thing about my 'attacks' is that they generally seemed to be
> very random at first, and so therefore I didn't really know what
> things to avoid or what to work on, and as a result I now pretty much
> avoid everything! It can be very crippling in that sense- there are
> many things I would love to do, many of them very simple day-to-day
> things that other people probably don't even realize they are doing.
>
> Although I try hard not to let this get me down, sometimes it does
> feel like I'm missing out on life, which can be depressing, but as
> soon I start to consider things like that, or even any problems in
> general, I feel that fast panicky pressure start to build up in my
> stomach, like I can now, even with no one else around, and so I
> usually just try not to think about it.
>
> I really look forward to hearing what things have worked for others
> and to also getting some help/support from people who seem to
> genuinely understand and appreciate the situation, rather than people
> like doctors who just seem to want to drug you up so you don't notice
> what's going on anymore.
>
> Best wishes to everyone.
>
> Thanks,
>
> ¬Johanne
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> Yahoo! Groups Links
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> ---
> Incoming mail is certified Virus Free.
> Checked by AVG anti-virus system (http://www.grisoft.com).
> Version: 6.0.773 / Virus Database: 520 - Release Date: 05/10/2004
>
---
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Checked by AVG anti-virus system (http://www.grisoft.com).
Version: 6.0.773 / Virus Database: 520 - Release Date: 05/10/2004

I can't find your website but did find abit about EFT.  I always have
low energy so how am i supposed to know when i feel ok after trying
this?

Hi Everyone,

It's great to hear from other people who also experience panic attacks
and anxiety problems. I don't really have any one else I can talk to
about my anxiety issues as, firstly, I often find it hard to talk to
people anyway (without becoming anxious), and secondly I find it
embarrassing and it makes me feel inadequate- and ashamed if I'm honest.

I suppose I also assume it's not the kind of thing that other people
want to hear about or discuss as they might find it awkward.

I have been prescribed various drugs from my doctor over the past few
years- since it's been bad enough that I actually went and asked for
help. None of the drugs have helped at all, and if anything they have
at stages created other problems with side effects and made things
worse. I was placed on a waiting list to receive cognitive therapy
treatment but have still not heard back from anyone. Is this treatment
likely to work? Are there better alternatives? Other than prescribed
drugs this is the only treatment I had really heard about until
discovering this group.

I have just started to read the 'EFT Protocol' mentioned here and
would definitely like to find out more about this as it seems to have
helped others here. Is there anywhere else I can get more information
on the EFT treatment?

The worse thing about my 'attacks' is that they generally seemed to be
very random at first, and so therefore I didn't really know what
things to avoid or what to work on, and as a result I now pretty much
avoid everything! It can be very crippling in that sense- there are
many things I would love to do, many of them very simple day-to-day
things that other people probably don't even realize they are doing.

Although I try hard not to let this get me down, sometimes it does
feel like I'm missing out on life, which can be depressing, but as
soon I start to consider things like that, or even any problems in
general, I feel that fast panicky pressure start to build up in my
stomach, like I can now, even with no one else around, and so I
usually just try not to think about it.

I really look forward to hearing what things have worked for others
and to also getting some help/support from people who seem to
genuinely understand and appreciate the situation, rather than people
like doctors who just seem to want to drug you up so you don't notice
what's going on anymore.

Best wishes to everyone.

Thanks,

¬Johanne

Hi Tammy,

Are you familiar with EFT? If not get the protocol from my site.

Start by using EFT for all the physical sensations you are feeling, don't
worry for now about the hows, or whys or reasons behind them.

Be very specific, is your heart beating fast? is your head all fuzzy? do you
have a pain in your tummy? Pin it down to how your body is responding at
this very moment and do several rounds and get it down to zero.

We think junk thoughts when we are stressed out so don't try and sort
anything out in your life or make any decisions until your energy system is
quietened down and a little more freeflowing, you can't see the big picture
while you are like this.

Give that a go and let me know how you get on.

Nicola





>
>
>
> I'm Tammy and live in BC,Canada.  I've suffered from Anxiety since i
> was 16 but it has gotten worse lately due to major things happening
> in my life.  I went to a depression/anxiety screening this wk,i am
> that as well,and got some info. to read about treatments,etc.  My
> boyfriend and I are broken up(4 yrs.) due to his major debt issues
> and also my disability is going to appeal so not sure what is going
> on with my future,very messed up.  Very stressful and need some
> people that understand how someone with problems as well as anxiety
> deals with bad things.  Thanks for any help.
>
> Take care,
>
> Tammy
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> Yahoo! Groups Links
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> ---
> Incoming mail is certified Virus Free.
> Checked by AVG anti-virus system (http://www.grisoft.com).
> Version: 6.0.773 / Virus Database: 520 - Release Date: 05/10/2004
>
---
Outgoing mail is certified Virus Free.
Checked by AVG anti-virus system (http://www.grisoft.com).
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Hi Nicola

Thank you very much for your welcome! It must have been awful to have been
"abandonned" as a 11-month-old baby! And it is interesting that you have
experienced something similar to me! A German (or Austrian) actress,
Christine Kaufmann, used to suffer from panic attacks, too, and she also was
in a home, I think, or some sort of abandonned as a baby. She used to always
feel like a baby during a panic attack.

It's great, how you have managed to get rid of the panic through EFT. I
hope, I'll get there, too, some day - with the kind help of you and the
group!

Thank you very much!
Take care:-),
Angi


----- Original Message -----
From: "Nicola" <nicola@...>
To: <Anxiety-Help-With-Nicola@yahoogroups.com>
Sent: Friday, October 08, 2004 2:31 PM
Subject: RE: [Anxiety-Help-With-Nicola] Hi:-)


>
> Hi Angi and welcome,
>
> What you said about abandonment and then linking future panics with not
> wanting to ever be alone again is so interesting.
>
> I know I do this (or used to, in the past to be more correct!) and my
> abandonment was as an 11 month old baby in hospital, my mother wasn't
> allowed to visit in the whole week I was there, was told it was more
> unsettling for the children, and bars still freak me out, the bars of the
> cot, and the coldness and the not knowing where my mummy was or that she
> would ever be back for me.
>
>. And I spent another 20 years there until I finally dealt with my
> 'being alone' thing, then I left, quite calmly, not a lot of fuss
> involved,
> there was no more reason to stay.
>
> Whoa! tap tap tap, huge energy surge at that thought just now.
>
> Yes, persistence is the key, but not mad, rabid tapping, be kind to
> yourself, and it *is* you that has to do it but we are all here to help
> and
> encourage you.
>
>

I'm Tammy and live in BC,Canada.  I've suffered from Anxiety since i
was 16 but it has gotten worse lately due to major things happening
in my life.  I went to a depression/anxiety screening this wk,i am
that as well,and got some info. to read about treatments,etc.  My
boyfriend and I are broken up(4 yrs.) due to his major debt issues
and also my disability is going to appeal so not sure what is going
on with my future,very messed up.  Very stressful and need some
people that understand how someone with problems as well as anxiety
deals with bad things.  Thanks for any help.

Take care,

Tammy

Hi Arlene,

Aha, the freedom issue again, the fear of making our own choices, the fear
of being wrong once free when before we could blame uncle tom cobbly and all
for why things went wrong and *were* so terribly wrong.

This feels right to me.

Apologies for brevity, just dashing out but wanted to say this before I
forgot.

Nicola



>
>
>
>
> Hi everyone, I just want to say how grateful I am for this group. I
> have enjoyed everyone's input and it has clarified alot of things for
> me.  I guess the one thing that has helped me the most is the letting
> go. I don't get full blown attacks as often as I used to. But they do
> happen sometimes and it always throws me off. But, what helps me is
> to just let it happen. Let the feelings flow. I feel the energy go
> through my body. When I fight it it does get worse like what was
> mentioned earlier. I even take the stance in my mind and say "come on
> do your thing, I'm ready for ya." "Lets get this over with." It's a
> way for me to be in control of the attack rather than it controlling
> me. It works for me, within a minute it passes. It took some
> practicing though. And wow did I have plenty of opportunities for
> practice! I read once that anxiety is the fear of freedom. I don't
> totally grasp that and yet my breakdown occured after I moved away
> from home which was a very controlling environment. And I still put
> myself in controlling situations at times be it work or
> relationships. Hmmmm, more insights. I would be interested to hear if
> anyone has some feedback on this. Again, thank you everyone.
>
> With gratitude,
> Arlene
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> Yahoo! Groups Links
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> ---
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Hi everyone, I just want to say how grateful I am for this group. I
have enjoyed everyone's input and it has clarified alot of things for
me.  I guess the one thing that has helped me the most is the letting
go. I don't get full blown attacks as often as I used to. But they do
happen sometimes and it always throws me off. But, what helps me is
to just let it happen. Let the feelings flow. I feel the energy go
through my body. When I fight it it does get worse like what was
mentioned earlier. I even take the stance in my mind and say "come on
do your thing, I'm ready for ya." "Lets get this over with." It's a
way for me to be in control of the attack rather than it controlling
me. It works for me, within a minute it passes. It took some
practicing though. And wow did I have plenty of opportunities for
practice! I read once that anxiety is the fear of freedom. I don't
totally grasp that and yet my breakdown occured after I moved away
from home which was a very controlling environment. And I still put
myself in controlling situations at times be it work or
relationships. Hmmmm, more insights. I would be interested to hear if
anyone has some feedback on this. Again, thank you everyone.

With gratitude,
Arlene

Ok, for anyone who may be a little anxious about posting here, and we would
love to hear from everyone, please tap on this and then type, then tap some
more if need be before you hit send!

:)

Nicola
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Hi Angi and welcome,

What you said about abandonment and then linking future panics with not
wanting to ever be alone again is so interesting.

I know I do this (or used to, in the past to be more correct!) and my
abandonment was as an 11 month old baby in hospital, my mother wasn't
allowed to visit in the whole week I was there, was told it was more
unsettling for the children, and bars still freak me out, the bars of the
cot, and the coldness and the not knowing where my mummy was or that she
would ever be back for me.

And then onto panics starting when I was thinking of leaving my husband
because of deep feelings for someone else and even though I couldn't be with
that other person I knew because of the way I felt about him I really should
not stay with my partner but the panics 'saved' me from having to leave at
that time. And I spent another 20 years there until I finally dealt with my
'being alone' thing, then I left, quite calmly, not a lot of fuss involved,
there was no more reason to stay.

Whoa! tap tap tap, huge energy surge at that thought just now.

Yes, persistence is the key, but not mad, rabid tapping, be kind to
yourself, and it *is* you that has to do it but we are all here to help and
encourage you.

And don't be sorry for your long introduction, it was much appreciated!

Bright waves to Germany on this sunny morning,

Nicola






>
>
>
> My name is Angi (short from Angelika, which sounds so formal and
> reminds me of teachers addressing me at school). I'm 48 and have
> 3 children. I had my first panic attack at age 12, and they
> stayed till the age of about 17. Then I was panic free till the
> age of about 22. At that time I had to live with my parents for a
> while again, and also had trouble with my (first) boyfriend and
> had split up. But although we got together again, the panic
> attacks have stayed. I had to go back to University, had another
> boyfriend and after him met my future husband. (I'm German by the
> way, and my husband English. We live in Germany). I think that
> apart from a hereditary tendency I was sort of traumatized, when
> we had a car accident, when I was about 3, and after that had to
> go to a children's home twice for several weeks, because my
> parents were badly injured. At this home I never knew, when my
> parents would come back. I feel that my subconsciousness must
> have made a plan that I'd never be alone again..., because the
> panic attacks started, whenever there was a time in my life, when
> I was very much afraid to be on my own, and in the panic
> situation I always feel like a 3-year-old.
>
> Aboaut two years ago I got to know EFT (I had had several
> psychotherapies with any success regarding my panic attacks). I
> made a bit of headway, and I also passed my Certificate of
> Completion. But then, in August 2003, my husband (only just 44 at
> the time) was diagnosed with advanced stomach cancer. We had
> precious seven more months together, and EFT helped us a lot
> through this time. He died in March 2004. Although I'm "on my
> own" again, I don't feel lonely because of my children and my
> friends. Thankfully the panic attacks didn't get really worse
> (better neither, of course).
>
> I read your wonderful piece about panic attacks and EFT, Nicola!!
> Thank you very much for that! I'm only lacking in the persistence
> of applying EFT and continuing to practise going out on my own. I
> hope that this group will give me encouragement! (Although I know
> that it is really my task alone! Nobody can do it for me!)
>
> I'm sorry for this long introduction! Thank you very much for reading!
>
> Take care, Angi
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>
>
>
>
> Yahoo! Groups Links
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> ---
> Incoming mail is certified Virus Free.
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Ah yes Adam, that is excellent. I too found that once I let go, stopped
trying to push the feelings away but embraced them fully, knowing I wasn't
going to die, things began to change dramatically.

It does take courage but that's different from using brute willpower to get
the job done which in the end just exhausts you.

I always remember the story I was once told about how a pilot deals with a
plane that has gone out of control and is falling. Your instinct would tell
you to pull up the controls as the plane is diving but in fact the correct
thing to do, and the only thing that will save your life, is to go with it
and direct the plane into the dive and then pull up afterwards once you have
regained control within the dive itself.

Has helped me immensely over the years.

And chipping away at your mountain is so good.

Great stuff, thanks.

Nicola



>
>
>
>
>
> I have come to the realization that no matter what feelings I am
> feeling at any moment the simple fact remains that I am not going to
> die or have a heart attack and that I am completely safe no matter
> what I am feeling. I have gotten to the point where if I don't give
> my condition any credence or power over me my symptoms decrease
> dramatically. This takes quite alot of courage at first but after
> dealing with it for awhile the anxiety stops taking control over you
> and you realize that you are in control of your life and not your
> anxiety. Also visualization techniques help out alot. Something that
> always seemed to help me was visualizing that I was climbing a
> mountain and the mountain represented my anxiety. Using my pickaxe I
> chip away at it little by little until I have chipped it all away and
> the whole mountain collapses. I have used other visualizations as
> well but they all revolve around a central theme of my anxiety being
> represented by something large and me destroying it little by little.
>
>
> >
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--- In Anxiety-Help-With-Nicola@yahoogroups.com, adam stanley  >
Something that
> always seemed to help me was visualizing that I was climbing a
> mountain and the mountain represented my anxiety. Using my pickaxe I
> chip away at it little by little until I have chipped it all away
and
> the whole mountain collapses. I have used other visualizations as
> well but they all revolve around a central theme of my anxiety being
> represented by something large and me destroying it little by
little.
>


That's really interesting and helpful in many ways.

Thanks for that, I can do something with that.

Cheers,

Silvia

My name is Angi (short from Angelika, which sounds so formal and reminds me of
teachers addressing me at school). I'm 48 and have 3 children. I had my first
panic attack at age 12, and they stayed till the age of about 17. Then I was
panic free till the age of about 22. At that time I had to live with my parents
for a while again, and also had trouble with my (first) boyfriend and had split
up. But although we got together again, the panic attacks have stayed. I had to
go back to University, had another boyfriend and after him met my future
husband. (I'm German by the way, and my husband English. We live in Germany). I
think that apart from a hereditary tendency I was sort of traumatized, when we
had a car accident, when I was about 3, and after that had to go to a children's
home twice for several weeks, because my parents were badly injured. At this
home I never knew, when my parents would come back. I feel that my
subconsciousness must have made a plan that I'd never be alone again..., because
the panic attacks started, whenever there was a time in my life, when I was very
much afraid to be on my own, and in the panic situation I always feel like a
3-year-old.

Aboaut two years ago I got to know EFT (I had had several psychotherapies with
any success regarding my panic attacks). I made a bit of headway, and I also
passed my Certificate of Completion. But then, in August 2003, my husband (only
just 44 at the time) was diagnosed with advanced stomach cancer. We had precious
seven more months together, and EFT helped us a lot through this time. He died
in March 2004. Although I'm "on my own" again, I don't feel lonely because of my
children and my friends. Thankfully the panic attacks didn't get really worse
(better neither, of course).

I read your wonderful piece about panic attacks and EFT, Nicola!! Thank you very
much for that! I'm only lacking in the persistence of applying EFT and
continuing to practise going out on my own. I hope that this group will give me
encouragement! (Although I know that it is really my task alone! Nobody can do
it for me!)

I'm sorry for this long introduction! Thank you very much for reading!

Take care, Angi

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

I have come to the realization that no matter what feelings I am
feeling at any moment the simple fact remains that I am not going to
die or have a heart attack and that I am completely safe no matter
what I am feeling. I have gotten to the point where if I don't give
my condition any credence or power over me my symptoms decrease
dramatically. This takes quite alot of courage at first but after
dealing with it for awhile the anxiety stops taking control over you
and you realize that you are in control of your life and not your
anxiety. Also visualization techniques help out alot. Something that
always seemed to help me was visualizing that I was climbing a
mountain and the mountain represented my anxiety. Using my pickaxe I
chip away at it little by little until I have chipped it all away and
the whole mountain collapses. I have used other visualizations as
well but they all revolve around a central theme of my anxiety being
represented by something large and me destroying it little by little.



>
> Well done on making progress with your feelings of derealisation,
> what are
> you doing for this? do you use EFT or any of the energy therapies?
>
> Nicola
>
>

Hi Arlene,

And thankyou for your introduction.

Silvia and I have often talked about excess energy and how we use behaviours
to suppress it or we feel we would flip out completely which is why energy
therapies are so perfect for helping with anxiety, learning to let the
energy flow smoothly and clear the channels in the first place to allow this
to happen.

And as for old issues popping back up you thought had been resolved, well,
when I was writing Life Without Panic Attacks that's exactly what happened
to me, I was shocked at first, even thought about putting it away (how could
anyone still feeling like this write such a thing?) but took the opportunity
instead to deal with them and put them finally to bed.

And yes, thank god for tapping and well done for getting as far as you have!

Is everyone here familiar with EFT? If not please go to my site, read the
Panic Attacks and EFT article and download the EFT protocol.

Nicola

http://nicolaquinn.com




>
>
>
>
>
> I would like to introduce myself. My name is Arlene from Phoenix, AZ.
> I have been tapping for about 2 years. I am interested in this group
> because I have suffered from panic disorder for about 25 years.
> Things are much better now. However I still see how the quality of my
> life can improve. My childhood was one in which it was not acceptable
> to feel or express feelings. It was a very controlling environment.I
> became a robot so to speak. I wasn't afraid of alot of things. I
> learned how not to feel. To help with that I was obsessed with
> physical activities such as sports, dance and gymnastics. When I left
> home at 18 the freedom was alot for me to handle and that was when I
> got into drinking and drugs. At the age of 20 the tire blew out so to
> speak  and I had a nervous breakdown. I had anxiety attacks daily
> after that. Not knowing what was going on with me, 6 months later I
> sought help from a therapist. I waited so long because I felt crazy
> and was embarassed to admit that I wasn't "as strong" as I thought I
> was. And that basically began my journey. I look back and realized
> that my breakdown was the best thing that happened to me. Everything
> that I have participated in for my emotional, mental and spiritual
> well-being has been helpful. However, when I came upon energy
> therapies it all came together and made so much sense to me.
> Awareness is great. It gives me a foundation. Knowing something and
> even talking about it helps yet it doesn't totally take it away.
> Tapping does. I am fascinated with energy. I believe everything is
> energy and I am so grateful that I have come upon this. I still worry
> about things and I have alot of energy and if I don't let it flow I
> find myself anxious. Also, this year alot of heavy issues that I
> thought I had resolved have come up and thank God for tapping. I am
> really looking forward to this group. Thank you...
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> Yahoo! Groups Links
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> ---
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Ah yes, life without that background low grade anxiety which spikes
inappropriately, wouldn't that be good and is our achievable goal here and
WE CAN DO IT.

We're also going to be dealing with that tremendous loss of life you
mentioned, that's something that is also in the background, all the time,
eating away at the tiniest of present joys.

Great to see you here my friend!

:)

Nicola






>
>
>
>
> Good morning, everyone :-)
>
> "It would be lovely to hear from everyone; how you found your way here,
> your story, and where you are now; and we can then move forward from
> there, together."
>
> I'm Silvia, 45, from East Sussex, UK.
>
> And up until six months ago I would have punched anyone who would have
> suggested that I might be AFRAID of anything at all, and hard.
>
> I've always used anger, fury, wrath to compensate for the stress
> problems. It's easy. You flip a few major body meridians and instead of
> a shaking wreck, you turn into a killing machine. Then people leave you
> alone and don't fuck with you anymore. Works great ...
>
> ... Up until a point, that is.
>
> I am beginning to see just how tremendous the havoc is I have caused to
> my incarnation over the years with my responses to stress.
>
> The cost of stress and fear is ENORMOUS.
>
> Bad decisions, for one. You, one, I will do ANYTHING, and believe
> ANYTHING, to get out of that fear. ANTYTHING. No matter how insane,
> illogical or downright destructive.
>
> Then there's the things one can't do. So many things one can't
> experience, can't have, so much loss, so much loss of life, it is simply
> unfathomable. There is all these things you need and want but you can't
> have them because they are lying behind this huge mountain range of FEAR
> and then there's the sadness as well.
>
> Sheesus, that SUCKS!
>
> Personally, I would love to learn to live a life without this CONSTANT
> fear, anger and sadness.
>
> I have nothing against fear, anger and sadness per se, don't get me
> wrong. If something frightening happens, or something outrageous, or
> something sad, of course we should respond with the appropriate emotion.
>
> But it is this CONSTANT underwash of pure, unadulterated misery that
> ruins lives, ruins MY life and I seek to overcome this.
>
> The fear is at the bottom of it, at the bottom of it all.
>
> Man, to stand up and say, "My name is Silvia and I'm afraid" is worse
> than going to Alcoholics Anonymous! I've battled with this grimly my
> entire life and could never admit it - but as in AA, to get it where you
> are and get with reality, is the first step to CHANGING REALITY to
> something new and something better.
>
> I am very grateful that Nicola has (bravely!) started this group, so we
> will have an ongoing reminder to keep healing that which needs to be
> healed so that we can live lives without fear, and in freedom.
>
> Ocean waves, blue and fresh, to all,
>
> Silvia
>
>
>
> Silvia Hartmann
> http://StarFields.org
>
>
>
>
>
> Yahoo! Groups Links
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
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Hi Adam,

Thankyou for your story and I'm so glad you brought up the subject of drugs,
both varieties.

I was taking amphetamines for quite a while before my panics started and
stopped them dead as soon as I had my first attack, didn't seem quite
appropriate to increase my heart rate artficially when I was trying my
damnedest to stop the palpitations!

I know recreational drugs do cause dramatic personality changes but am
wondering if you have to be of a certain type and prone to anxiety in the
first place to use them; that it's not going to be the answer and just adds
to the stress overload which ends in the inevitable breakdown.

It's interesting what you said about how you are feeling now, that is how I
felt when I was on Seroxat, an anti-depressant. Luckily I realised quite
quickly it was the drug doing this to me which made me lose what little
control I felt I already had so stopped them immediately. It was a horrible
feeling, as if I was standing 3 or 4 steps to one side of myself and took
some time to wear off.

Well done on making progress with your feelings of derealisation, what are
you doing for this? do you use EFT or any of the energy therapies?

Nicola



>
>
>
>      Since everyone seems to be introducing themselves I guess it is
> my turn. My name is Adam Stanley and I reside in Parkersburg, West
> Virginia. I received a personal invite for this group as I am sure
> many of you did. My panic attacks started when I was about 16 years
> old however I had my first one when I was very high and attributed it
> to the pot that I had been smoking. I quit smoking pot for awhile
> because it kind of flipped me out. A couple of years later I started
> getting panic attacks whether I was high or not and was very
> distressed by them because I didn't know what exactly was wrong with
> me and that made them even worse because I just thought that I was
> going insane.
>      After doing a little research on the matter I realized what
> exactly they were and the relief of knowing the nature of my problem
> and that it was not at all uncommon made me feel alot better. Shortly
> afterwards the attacks just sort of subsided and I never had a
> problem with them for a few years.
>      A few years ago I started attending classes at WVU to receive a
> CIT degree. I was about about three semesters into my degree and was
> walking to class one day and seemingly out of the blue I had a panic
> attack. This started a new cycle of fear and anxiety for me and I
> have been suffering with it ever since.
>      I eventually broke down and saw a doctor about it and was
> prescribed paxil and xanax. The paxil didn't do any good for me so
> the doctor wrote a prescription for wellbutrin which did absolutely
> nothing for me except kill my libido. Afterwards I decided to get
> completely off of medication so I weened myself off of the wellbutrin
> which was a horrible experience. (anybody that has ever tried to stop
> taking an anti-depressant knows what I am talking about)
>      Also during this time period I was basically addicted to xanax
> and had to ween myself off of them because I felt anxious when I
> didn't take them. Well enough about the past, lets move onto the
> present. Today I am 25 years old and am completely off of medication.
>  I still feel remnants of my condition all of the time. My panic
> attacks have stopped but I have trouble with feelings of
> derealization which is very frightening. If anyone doesn't know what
> derealization is it is basically a feeling of detachment from
> reality, nothing seems real and everything feels foreign and distant.
> This is my current battle that I am facing but I feel that I am
> making progress in my fight and hope to be free from my condition
> soon.
>      Well thats about it, I hope nobody feels that I am rambling on
> about myself too much but I think that it's better for everyone to
> know where I'm coming from. Good luck everyone :)
>
>
>
> _______________________________
> Do you Yahoo!?
> Declare Yourself - Register online to vote today!
> http://vote.yahoo.com
>
>
>
>
> Yahoo! Groups Links
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> ---
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Version: 6.0.772 / Virus Database: 519 - Release Date: 01/10/2004

I would like to introduce myself. My name is Arlene from Phoenix, AZ.
I have been tapping for about 2 years. I am interested in this group
because I have suffered from panic disorder for about 25 years.
Things are much better now. However I still see how the quality of my
life can improve. My childhood was one in which it was not acceptable
to feel or express feelings. It was a very controlling environment.I
became a robot so to speak. I wasn't afraid of alot of things. I
learned how not to feel. To help with that I was obsessed with
physical activities such as sports, dance and gymnastics. When I left
home at 18 the freedom was alot for me to handle and that was when I
got into drinking and drugs. At the age of 20 the tire blew out so to
speak  and I had a nervous breakdown. I had anxiety attacks daily
after that. Not knowing what was going on with me, 6 months later I
sought help from a therapist. I waited so long because I felt crazy
and was embarassed to admit that I wasn't "as strong" as I thought I
was. And that basically began my journey. I look back and realized
that my breakdown was the best thing that happened to me. Everything
that I have participated in for my emotional, mental and spiritual
well-being has been helpful. However, when I came upon energy
therapies it all came together and made so much sense to me.
Awareness is great. It gives me a foundation. Knowing something and
even talking about it helps yet it doesn't totally take it away.
Tapping does. I am fascinated with energy. I believe everything is
energy and I am so grateful that I have come upon this. I still worry
about things and I have alot of energy and if I don't let it flow I
find myself anxious. Also, this year alot of heavy issues that I
thought I had resolved have come up and thank God for tapping. I am
really looking forward to this group. Thank you...

Since everyone seems to be introducing themselves I guess it is
my turn. My name is Adam Stanley and I reside in Parkersburg, West
Virginia. I received a personal invite for this group as I am sure
many of you did. My panic attacks started when I was about 16 years
old however I had my first one when I was very high and attributed it
to the pot that I had been smoking. I quit smoking pot for awhile
because it kind of flipped me out. A couple of years later I started
getting panic attacks whether I was high or not and was very
distressed by them because I didn't know what exactly was wrong with
me and that made them even worse because I just thought that I was
going insane.
      After doing a little research on the matter I realized what
exactly they were and the relief of knowing the nature of my problem
and that it was not at all uncommon made me feel alot better. Shortly
afterwards the attacks just sort of subsided and I never had a
problem with them for a few years.
      A few years ago I started attending classes at WVU to receive a
CIT degree. I was about about three semesters into my degree and was
walking to class one day and seemingly out of the blue I had a panic
attack. This started a new cycle of fear and anxiety for me and I
have been suffering with it ever since.
      I eventually broke down and saw a doctor about it and was
prescribed paxil and xanax. The paxil didn't do any good for me so
the doctor wrote a prescription for wellbutrin which did absolutely
nothing for me except kill my libido. Afterwards I decided to get
completely off of medication so I weened myself off of the wellbutrin
which was a horrible experience. (anybody that has ever tried to stop
taking an anti-depressant knows what I am talking about)
      Also during this time period I was basically addicted to xanax
and had to ween myself off of them because I felt anxious when I
didn't take them. Well enough about the past, lets move onto the
present. Today I am 25 years old and am completely off of medication.
  I still feel remnants of my condition all of the time. My panic
attacks have stopped but I have trouble with feelings of
derealization which is very frightening. If anyone doesn't know what
derealization is it is basically a feeling of detachment from
reality, nothing seems real and everything feels foreign and distant.
This is my current battle that I am facing but I feel that I am
making progress in my fight and hope to be free from my condition
soon.
      Well thats about it, I hope nobody feels that I am rambling on
about myself too much but I think that it's better for everyone to
know where I'm coming from. Good luck everyone :)



_______________________________
Do you Yahoo!?
Declare Yourself - Register online to vote today!
http://vote.yahoo.com

Good morning, everyone :-)

"It would be lovely to hear from everyone; how you found your way here,
your story, and where you are now; and we can then move forward from
there, together."

I'm Silvia, 45, from East Sussex, UK.

And up until six months ago I would have punched anyone who would have
suggested that I might be AFRAID of anything at all, and hard.

I've always used anger, fury, wrath to compensate for the stress
problems. It's easy. You flip a few major body meridians and instead of
a shaking wreck, you turn into a killing machine. Then people leave you
alone and don't fuck with you anymore. Works great ...

... Up until a point, that is.

I am beginning to see just how tremendous the havoc is I have caused to
my incarnation over the years with my responses to stress.

The cost of stress and fear is ENORMOUS.

Bad decisions, for one. You, one, I will do ANYTHING, and believe
ANYTHING, to get out of that fear. ANTYTHING. No matter how insane,
illogical or downright destructive.

Then there's the things one can't do. So many things one can't
experience, can't have, so much loss, so much loss of life, it is simply
unfathomable. There is all these things you need and want but you can't
have them because they are lying behind this huge mountain range of FEAR
and then there's the sadness as well.

Sheesus, that SUCKS!

Personally, I would love to learn to live a life without this CONSTANT
fear, anger and sadness.

I have nothing against fear, anger and sadness per se, don't get me
wrong. If something frightening happens, or something outrageous, or
something sad, of course we should respond with the appropriate emotion.

But it is this CONSTANT underwash of pure, unadulterated misery that
ruins lives, ruins MY life and I seek to overcome this.

The fear is at the bottom of it, at the bottom of it all.

Man, to stand up and say, "My name is Silvia and I'm afraid" is worse
than going to Alcoholics Anonymous! I've battled with this grimly my
entire life and could never admit it - but as in AA, to get it where you
are and get with reality, is the first step to CHANGING REALITY to
something new and something better.

I am very grateful that Nicola has (bravely!) started this group, so we
will have an ongoing reminder to keep healing that which needs to be
healed so that we can live lives without fear, and in freedom.

Ocean waves, blue and fresh, to all,

Silvia



Silvia Hartmann
http://StarFields.org

Hi Ananga,

Thank you for your intro it was really touching and interesting to know, at
last, how you came into energy therapies, something we have never really
talked about!

I know I used to think that my troubles started with my first panic attack
when I was 24 but when I look back I was always uneasy in assembly at school
and during examinations used to flush badly, sweat hot and cold and want to
run from the room, feel dreadful on packed buses and trains and never used
lifts. I even think I went to work in the family business out of anxiety, a
way of being somewhere safe and at home.

And thinking back even further anxiety would account for how my father, a
normally mild mannered man would get edgy and snappy whenever we all went
out in the car together as a family and he was always the last one to get in
the car because of running to the toilet at the last minute. The journeys
were always torture, everyone being quiet and very aware not to set him off.

So even though my panic attacks seemed to come on out of the blue I think it
was inevitable that there should be a massive release at some point when all
hell let loose after years of not so very subtle clues.

And thank goodness we both found our way to Silvia when we did and now have
the full range of energy therapies at our fingertips!

Sunny waves to you and everybody here,

Nicola





>
>
>
> "It would be lovely to hear from everyone; how you found your way
> here, your
> story, and where you are now; and we can then move forward from there,
> together."
>
> Hello Nicola and other members of the list, who I have yet to
> hear from and
> meet (something I look forward to)
>
>
>
> I'm here by invitation from Nicola, who I have known for around
> three years
> now and am very glad that I do. For those who don't know me, my name is
> Ananga Sivyer, I'm 38 and live in Kent, UK
>
>
>
> >
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"It would be lovely to hear from everyone; how you found your way here, your
story, and where you are now; and we can then move forward from there,
together."

Hello Nicola and other members of the list, who I have yet to hear from and
meet (something I look forward to)



I'm here by invitation from Nicola, who I have known for around three years
now and am very glad that I do. For those who don't know me, my name is
Ananga Sivyer, I'm 38 and live in Kent, UK



I have, for most of my adult life, spent my time searching around for things
that really make a genuine and tangible difference to our lives. Techniques
that help us feel better and do better; I am particularly interested in
Energy Therapies and first stumbled across EFT in 1998 when researching the
meridian system on the internet. I found a site called the Association for
Meridian Therapies, and started looking around for the charts and diagrams,
and technical info about the energy systems of the human body with which
fascinate me (they still do). But this site was very different, it told
tales of people overcoming fears and phobias, traumas and anxiety attacks by
tapping a simple sequence of meridian energy points. I kept going back to it
and reading more, looking around more, it seemed too simple, too good to be
true. but, what if it really worked and I was missing out on a great thing
here.



I printed everything from that site ( now at www.theAMT.com
<http://www.theamt.com/>  ), which even then in its early days, had masses
of information, I read and tapped and tapped and read and then I saw a phone
number on Gary Craig's www.emofree.com <http://www.emofree.com/>  for a
person in East Sussex who was representing EFT in the UK - slightly nervous,
I called her and she told me "EFT is bloody brilliant" in such a way that I
just had to learn more! I booked a phone session with her there and then and
so began my enthusiastic leap into the world of EFT and Meridian Energy
Therapies. That person was Silvia Hartmann, author of Adventures in EFT, and
developer of EmoTrance.



So that's how I got into EFT and EmoTrance and how I gradually decided to
return to my original love of exploring the ancient information on the
meridian and higher energy systems according to Traditional Chinese medicine
and Ayurveda, with a view to linking it all up ancient and modern, exploring
back and froth between the two with the aim of carrying both forward
together, united and most importantly, useful - profoundly useful for all
who seek to really live, rather than endure, this life.



As this list is about anxiety help, under the expert guidance of Nicola, I
shall give a brief visit to my past so that fellow list members here are not
under the illusion that I am a stranger to anxiety. As a child I am told I
was "always anxious" I don't know why I had to be told, because I remember
it well, the stomach churning, uncertainty, confusion, downright fear that
would swim and swirl with me wherever I went. By the age of 10 I was taken
to the doctor and prescribed valium, which did little to help and really
just made me feel worse because I had to have this medicine for my feelings
and therefore computed that I was not up to much as a person. By the time I
was 16 I was looking for new ways of coping, I would bury myself in studying
all things psychic, occult, and eastern. anything that I felt would give a
different perspective on life. By then I was having increasingly frequent
periods of shaking and sweating when in the company of others, at school I
would get this awful feeling come over me and feel a cold trickle of sweat
run down my back, which felt as though it would turn into a stream until my
school shirt was literally soaked, thank God it was odourless and I learned
to wear jumpers all the time come heat or cold so it didn't notice so much -
but I felt hugely embarrassed and distressed by that and the feelings of
panic that came with it. So back to the doctor with mother, more
anti-depressants and a lovely chemical to put under my arms to help control
the sweating, which burned like hell and did nothing but leave scars which
remained for years.



At that point I set up my first self help program! Now 17 and working in
London traveling on packed train to and from every day I devised a survival
plan of drinking large amounts of neat alcohol (usually whiskey) every
evening to get to sleep and large amounts of coffee every day, to stay
awake, accompanied of course by a variety of antidepressants. It worked fine
for a while, until I started being sick every morning, and my system started
to suffer from the rollercoaster program. Now I was having massive feelings
of fear when in a room with anyone else, I could not eat in front of people
because my hands would shake, "bad news" on TV often had me running to the
bathroom to be sick and I would run from social occasions too and find
myself gasping for air outside.



There was no EFT, no EmoTrance, no Rescue Remedy even, I knew nothing of the
energy system and its workings as I now do, so somehow I got to talking
myself through everything, a persistent internal dialogue of self-coaching
that sometimes happens still, when I was 19 I made some fantastic friends
and sought a very different lifestyle than I had until then been living, I
found some support and understanding and gradually began to find my feet.
Since then things have got better and better with the new tools and
techniques I've added to my arsenal.



Wow.. that was supposed to be a brief intro. I'm sorry it took so long - I
never wrote that down before, and until quite recently couldn't even talk
about it because the old feelings would start to stir, so once I got going I
got carried away with the tale.



Anyhow. I hope it got the ball rolling, my tale is not terrible or
spectacular, it is just my tale, my own experience. I hope that we can all
find a voice here and take advantage of this wonderful opportunity to help
each other.



With my best wishes to you all

Ananga











[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Hi Everyone,

Now I've sorted out my ailing computer system and some issues at home (with
the aid of a lot of tapping!) it's time to start the discussion but that
does remind me of how I used to be when I was panicking several times a day.

Everything had to be just right before I would do anything, which is
something I have tried to stop myself doing since then, oops, at least I am
more forgiving of my mistakes now and don't see them as massive setbacks.

Does anyone here use EFT for their anxiety, if not what other techniques are
you using, if any?

A bright Tuesday morning to you, wherever you may be,

Nicola
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Hello and a warm welcome to all members of this new group!

I hope you'll find this a comfortable place to share your experiences and
find some good ideas to help with your anxiety.

It would be lovely to hear from everyone; how you found your way here, your
story, and where you are now; and we can then move forward from there,
together.

Waves to friends, old and new,

Nicola
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]