"The European Commission has just announced an
agreement whereby English
will
be the official language of the European Union rather
than German,
which was
the other possibility. As part of the negotiations,
the British
Government
conceded that English spelling had some room for
improvement and has
accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become
known as
"Euro-English".

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c".
Sertainly, this will
make
the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will
be dropped in
favour of
"k". This should klear up
konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond
year when the
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will
make words like
fotograf 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling
kan be expekted
to
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are
possible.
Governments
will enkourage the removal of double letters which
have always ben a
deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that
the horibl mes of
the
silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should
go away.

By the 4th yer peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as
replasing "th"
with
"z" and "w" with "v".

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from
vords kontaining
"ou"
and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl
riten styl.

Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil
find it ezi tu
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil
finali kum tru. Und
efter
ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey
vunted in ze forst
plas."