Transitions can also be a major source of meltdowns. Parents often
respond to a child's transitioning meltdown with the word "NO",
which in itself has much confusion connected with it.

Even as an adult, I have to have warning of an upcoming change or be
in control of my own schedule. I need time mentally to prepare for
change and regulate my thoughts, body and feelings. Why?

When you change activities or locations you start from "ground zero"
in new smells, noises, people and the energy of others and
surrounding. As a child, this feels like jumping into the deep end
each time when you are still trying to determine you can swim or
will be safely held/caught by someone down below.

Additionally, I tend to get lost in my world when doing a particular
activity. Mentally, physically the whole world can disappear. So
when someone grabs me out of it and says we are switching gears and
doing something else it is like having someone jerk you awake in the
middle of a dream or sleep. It would be disturbing and very hard
for anyone to transition in this state.

Make note that for many of us Autistics, reaching this state of
absorption into an activity can be immediate. We are pulled
to "figure things out". We want to do this with objects or certain
activities that do not involve other people. People are confusing.
So--when you say NO after catching me playing or doing something
that I should not, or stop me immediately because you have a time
schedule that requires a fast exit, we make have what appears to be
a tantrum or meltdown to release the frustration of not yet mentally
finishing a thought process within or head OR for sheer terror of
not knowing what will be coming next.

By providing a warning that you have 5 more minutes and then we need
to go to ____, this is many cases will allow a child or adult the
time to mentally pull out of the place their head is at and I can
try to start self regulating for the change.

This may not always help if your child has many changes and
transitions in their life-if you are always on the go, then a NO or
any warning is then scary in itself because it happens frequently.
If they have not learned tools to mentally make frequent changes,
then a busy schedule means an emotionally difficult and scary day
for that child.

If the above applies to your child, my only suggestion would be to
have immediately on hand a transition item that soothes or distracts
them until they can adjust to the change. Most of us have
particular things that we could work for hours and never get bored
with. Or maybe it is a snuggle baby/blanket that smells a certain
way

My mom taught me how to braid at a certain age that when I was to
leave my safe cave or place, she warned me first, then came back and
immediately handed me my "braid strings". Just holding them brought
comfort. I knew that no matter where went, I would be able to find
a corner and absorb into the strings and make those patterns with
the strings.

A heart-felt thanks to the many parents willing to take the time to
read this and to patiently work with their child and the things we
struggle with.

Pamela ©2006


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