http://www.palatkadailynews.com/articles/2004/09/11/news/news03.txt


Expert has strategy for 'storm stress'

By April Curtis
Charley, Frances and now, Ivan.

Ask any Floridian and they can tell you these aren't the names of their
favorite people, but the names of inconvenience, strain and the sense of
impending disaster as hurricane season brings more stress than some can
handle.

Short tempers, sleep disturbances, insecurity and a sense of unfairness
are just some of the emotions exhibited by adults and children as they
work through the traumatic effects of the past few weeks and the unknown
future as we reach the peak of the storm season.

"Adults get irritated and take their stress out on each other," said
Joann O'Neil, a licensed clinical social worker at the Putnam County
Health Department. "They need to stop as soon as they recognize it and
take the initiative to remind the family that they are a team."

O'Neil has a survival strategy that she said she uses with her own
family.

"We don't get to be crazy at the same time," she said with a laugh.
"It's amazing how we can recognize who needs it the most."

It is vital to try to reframe the situation, O'Neil said, and not allow
things to escalate either with family or others.

"People are tired and worried and sometimes aren't at their best," she
said. "We need to remind ourselves that it is not helping and it won't
change things to lose your temper. Recognize the escalation in other
people and back off."

Someone has to be the cool one.

The team concept works well beyond just family members, said O'Neil. It
also works in neighborhoods and communities. It's a helpful strategy to
keep the thought that it isn't just you alone that it has happened to.

"Keep that self-talk going in your head," she said. "Look for ways to
reframe the situation."

With homes damaged, power outages and other inconveniences, it is easy
to get angry and want to lash out, but O'Neil reminds adults that they
are the models for children in how they deal with the stress.

"When children react to trauma, it is not only about how the event
affected them, but also it is the sense of crisis and how their parents
react," she said. "They feel more tension if their parents have a hard
time."

Children look to their parents for a sense of safety, security and
survival, said O'Neil, and need to be reassured.

"Tell them what is happening, give them age-appropriate information,"
she said. "Kids like information."

The clue is to know how much information to give. Imparting all of the
potential disaster can be a mistake, but kids don't need to be kept
totally in the dark, either.

"Reassure them, "'We're tough, we're going to get through this,'" said
O'Neil. "Don't share your worries or issues. Kids feed off of parents
reactions and we should be careful of how we show our emotions in front
of the kids."

Parents can look for signs of trauma in their children . Some indicators
for very young children may be high anxiety levels, being clingy,
re-enactment of the event ("let's play hurricane"), regression behavior
like bed-wetting, nightmares, sleep problems, anxiety attachment and
less flexibility with changes than normal.

"There may also be an increase in psychosomatic illnesses such as
stomachaches and headaches," said O'Neil.

With older children, there may be more of an anger reaction and sense of
unfairness, or even an increased sense of excitement.

"They don't understand the long-term effects of the event," O'Neil said.

With adolescents particularly, there can be some suppression of feelings
and withdrawal, she said, especially if something traumatic like a tree
falling on a roof or home damage occurred while they were there.

With teen-agers, it is a slightly different story, because they are
almost adults and some will react as adults, according to O'Neil.

"They feel some responsibility for the family and they want to be part
of the solution," she said. "They also have more of an understanding of
what is happening. They worry."

Teens can be irritable and feel overwhelmed, sad or depressed, she said.

During a crisis, parents may depend somewhat on teen-agers, but it is
important not to place the same level of responsibility on them, said
O'Neil.

"We still need to make sure that they know it will be OK," she said.

There may be some problems with concentration after returning to school
for all age groups, O'Neil said.

Also, people - not just children - in crisis may re-live or experience
other stressors such as past hurts and traumas, not just the immediate
crisis.

How do we handle it all?

"Reassurance," she said. "A loving, caring family can reaffirm things.
Name your family and say things like, 'The (last name) family is tough
and we're going to be OK.'"

Also helpful is physical closeness, discussing what is happening and
about how the child is feeling - but only if they want to talk about it.

"Sometimes teens will clam up and you don't need to force them to talk,"
said O'Neil. "The easiest way is to do projects together and
communication may open up."

While the stress of the storms may cause stormy behavior, it should not
be acceptable, O'Neil said. There should be limits set.

"You may need to handle it differently, not punish but discipline it
another way," she said.

Children often feel the disaster in a sporadic way - pushing the concern
out of their heads and forgetting about it temporarily. Their concerns
are also often not the same as adult concerns. For instance, instead of
worrying about the house being destroyed, they may only worry about
their bike.

"We do need to be sensitive and recognize it from a child's point of
view," said O'Neil.

In worrying about potential disasters, such as Ivan, the idea is to keep
things in perspective, she said, by looking at the past.

"We've already survived two and we're still here," she said. "That's how
we prepare for the future. We have to say, 'We can be scared and it
could be rough, but we're tough people. The more prepared we are, the
better we can handle it."

Having a plan and sharing it with children can help. Even if the plan is
moving to a shelter, give children a sense of control by allowing them
to pick an item or two to take with them.

"Simple reassurances mean the most," O'Neil said. "I tell victims a lot,
'What doesn't kill us makes us stronger.' We're incredibly resilient.
The mind's ability to regroup is amazing."