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Date: Tue, 1 Nov 2005 14:44:15 -0800 (PST)
From: Bri <da_1bri@...>
To: AIPL@yahoogroups.com
Subject: Re: [AIPL] My wonderful wife, in Berkeley with A.S.

Thank you for your response. I am just so frustrated. We only found out with in
the past few months about the Aspergers. Job after job, my wife just not fitting
in, just not able to communicate effectively with others at work. She is an I.T.
professional. She is technically skilled and able to do her job, but people just
don't want to be around her.
She just got laid off of a wonderful job, one she loved. 3 months was all they
could take. My wife is taking it real bad. She is depressed, I don't know what
to do on the short term basis. I am a Clergyman in the Jewish Faith. I am used
to listening, helping, reaching out. I would love for us to attend your group
but yet another long trip per week would not be possible.
Do you know of any support groups in the East Bay. Can you get us one step
closer to our questions?
Thank you,
Brian

Isaac Kight <isaackight@...> wrote:
I completely understand your position. I am an aspie married to an aspie. I
have many aspie friends and I work with aspie kids. It is very clear to me that
we are very different in our natural state, but we can learn to emulate
non-autistic people well enough to get by. I, for example, sold almost $2
million in just two months. This requires me to interact with my clients as one
of their kind. It is difficult to do but I often help my aspie friends by
helping them to rationalize their way into understanding the behavior of
neurotypicals. It helps them a lot. I realize that the idea sounds degrading
that we have to adapt to a society that is unwilling to accept us for who and
what we are. The reality is the means by which the social rules and behaviors
are reinforced in our society is the means by which non-autistic people are
taught these rules. If we ask society to alter its behavior to accommodate us,
then we interrupt a system of behaviors that is so culturally
engrained that it is all but impossible to overcome. If this was done it would
mean a level of social chaos that most people cannot handle. Better that we
adapt to them, learn to play their social games better than they do. Having a
group of aspie friends and non-autistic people willing to say aloud social rules
that are supposed to be subconscious, to provide a support network helps a great
deal.

The law can require accommodation but it cannot govern peoples social behavior.
Discrimination against people with Aspergers due to social stress has no legal
precedence or significance. Perhaps one day it will, but for now it is up to us
to help each other.

~Isaac Kight
President, Asperger Society
408.506.7300



On 11/1/05 12:14 AM, "Bri" <da_1bri@...> wrote:

Thank you for your attempt to help. However, my wife gets fired from every job
she has. This is a very serious problem that can not be over run by telling the
world that people with AS are wonderful people, I wish it were that easy. There
is something different for people with AS and it does have an effect on other
adults that also need to get from morning to evening in their work place. It is
not just a thing that people need to understand. If my wife were 4 years old
playing in the sand box, that would be cured by your e-mail. What is your
experience that enables you to send an e-mail such as yours?
Thanks, I look forward to your reply. I suspect that you do not have a spouse
that has to face the rest of the world.
B rian

yy sang <yanyaosang@...> wrote:
It is not a problem that the person with AS can not adopt to the society, but
the society do not understand person with AS.If I were you, I would tell her
there is nothing wrong with AS itself. Just take it easy.Help her to gain other
people underanding is what she need most now, at least, I think so. And thanks
to AS, you will consider and experience sth different from others. It is not
bad, isn't it? I hope my it will be helpful to you.

you know the rest <da_1bri@...>
I adore my wife, I support her, I love her so much, I want and will
support her efforts every day, every way; She has aspergers and we are
reaching out for help within the Yahoo community.
My wife has major problems in her field. She is an I.T. professional.
She is able to complete her tasks technacially but working with people
is her downfall. She has had many jobs over the past years but is
always told she does not fit in with the rest of the people with whom
she is working. Great jobs, very motovated to succeed and great
technical skills.
We just found out within the past 6 months that the issues at hand is
due to the fact that she does have Aspergers disorder.
Are there any groups in the Berkeley/Oakland area that meet and deal
with these issues? Is there any person that can help us on the right
road? Please let us know what others in this field are doing to succeed.
I am a member of the clergy in the area. I want to support her and
give her the best possibilities to succeed and work with her, for her
and with her to understand and deal with the issues associated with
Aspergers.
Thanking you in advance,






---------------------------------
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D <http://cn.zs.yahoo.com/>

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