I as well have a 12 yr old son dx with AS .. he hates taking
baths/showers.. but he loves water.. there is a difference to taking
a bath and just being in the water which is when I specifically say
REMEMBER TO USE SOAP AND SHAMPOO he gets so mad at me .. brushing his
teeth is a whole other issue on itself. That he hates . He dont
understand why he has to .. which is part of the problem. If I do it
for him then its fine .. unlike the woman's son that said he will let
her but not for long.. My son dont like it for very long as well but
some rack that up to laziness but from all the reading and groups and
people we have been involved with for so long I'm finding that that
its normal. The only way they will change is from constant harrassing
from other children in school. My son now .. keep in mind this
behavior has been for some time now.. just in the last few months has
wanted to do his hair, smell good, and look "cool". He doesnt have
much interaction with other "normal" kids in school because hes in an
emotional support classroom. I asked for him to be there but take his
normal classes but only thru the emotional support teacher because
that was his safe haven when things would become to over stimulated
for him. He was kicked out of p.e. class for the rest of the year and
now complains because he take adaptive p.e. I explained that if he
would just stop fighting and understand that hes not always right
that he could go back. That to him was just to much to handle. I know
this is a pretty lengthy post but I have been where everyone of you
are now. And some days are great days and others just plain are out
of control. He has no friends outside the home which our home
consists of myself,my husband who is not his real father, and both my
sons ages 2 yrs and 12yrs. He does have his own room and I found that
even giving him a personal place .. even if in the basement or attic.
Just so they have a personal place to go and relax in their own way
is all they need. I would always try to make him be with other kids
and it just made the situations worse. My son is a genius when it
comes to things hes interested in but when its something that I need
him to do then all havoc breaks loose. Its just the disorder and
sometimes you have to take the good with the bad. As for the changes
part of their life... most of the time they do ok with it. Just make
sure they know every detail on why its happening and I had to make
sure that he knew when i married my husband he had to know that
everyday i loved him more and more NO MATTER WHAT. To this day i
still tell him daily , even more than a few times, how much I love
him and think he is the most special kid on earth. School he has many
problems with but you have to insure them your listening to him and
try to understand where they are comming from. I have come to many
eye opening experiances thru the months and Im sure there will be
many more . All i can do is hope and pray that I am showing him how
adults work in life. Today was the talk on why we have rules and how
i even being an adult has rules. All he said after was ohhhh now i
understand.. was it because it was never explained to him why there
are rules in a way he could grasp he would get mad or because he just
didnt want to? I dont know .. but he now sees that rules are not made
to be mean to people but if they werent there then everything would
just be really crazy....that he understood and im glad.. im sure he
will still mess up but ill always use that reference to why everyone
has rules... I hope i atleast gave a little bit of insite to everyone
knowing they arent alone and I probably deal with just about the same
things on a daily basis .. if anyone would like to just chat and see
if anything i have done works for them or vise versa.. feel free..
gravytrain33@.... thanks again all have a great
day /night...
BRENDA