HI there,

I came home to a post regarding that ADHD is due to bad
parenting..... I noticed that the post is now gone off the board,
however, in order to encourage many of you out there, I wanted to
repsond with a few posts of moms who are raising kids with ADHD. I
don't do this to drudge up a negative post but to encourage those of
you with ADHD that life can be successful and I wish you the best...

My response:

I don't know who you are because you didn't sign your
name, BUT third world countries DO have ADHD. Let me
tell you, in Africa, they kick these kids out of
school and they become part of the homeless. They are
leppers in their society. I'm sorry but just because
third world countries don't recognize ADD, doesn't
mean it doesn't exist in their country. I personally
know of an educator from the states who started a
school program to help these kids, the first of it's
kind. I also personally know parents from many other
countries who suffer from ADD in their kids, I belong
to many support groups.

I live with 4 males, 2 with ADD, 1 with ADHD (are you
telling me my parenting causes my sons to not be able
to pay attention in class? to not be able to remember
what they just read? to have excessive energy? and
don't say it's diet, we have removed ALL dyes and
additives from our diet, I have a degree in community
health). My husband was self diagnosed when he saw a
special on ADD 13 years ago. He said, 'I'm so glad I
found out what has been going on with me all of my
life.' I would suggest that you get some education
about this disorder. It is genetic, we can count MANY
people in my husband's family who have ADD, OCD,
bi-polar and substance abuse disorders. It really
angers me that there are people out there, like you
who think it's the parent's fault. As a woman with
TWO college degrees, I can tell you that I am a great,
educated parent who tries to shield my kids from
people like you. As I send off my oldest son to
Engineering school, I'll continue to pat myself on the
back for being the best damn mom out there....

Hope you can open your mind one day (do you believe in
autism, or is that a result of bad parenting? Try
reading up on the mercury in immunizations and the
effects of brain chemistry, I'm sure you'll find it
enlightening)

Maria (I sign my name)

Responses from other parents raising ADHD kids:

I am a mother of six children. I am married to the father of all
six, they have had a stable home. We are strong Christians and have
reared the children in the Scriptures. They have been well
disciplined. Of the six, two have been diagnosed ADD and the others
have not, though we suspect the youngest may be. The older ones
were homeschooled, the oldest two for 5 years, the next for 4, and
the next for 3. The youngest have always been in public school.
Other than that, their upbringing has been exactly the same.

There is no way anyone could convince me that the ones who are ADD
are a result of bad parenting when the others are NOT ADD. If it
were our parenting, they would ALL be ADD. It is ridiculous and
shows a complete lack of understanding for anyone to blame ADD on
bad parenting or social ills of America.

ADD has been around for centuries (or millenniums). The difference
is, in some cultures, ADD kids simply get beaten (and I don't mean
spanked) and kicked out of their homes, like Maria said. Thomas
Edison was partially deaf as a result of having his ears boxed
because of his ADHD behavior. Albert Einstein's disheveled
appearance was due to his ADHD or (more likely) Asperger's
syndrome. My personal belief is that the Apostle Peter was ADHD
(due to his impulsivity and blurting that he did). There is
nothing new under the sun. (Ecclesiastes 1:9)

Shirley

I went to a seminar with Christopher Green who has written a great
book
on
working with ADHD kids. His take on ADHD was that in the past, when
man
was
a hunting creature the ADHD gene possibly gave the carries a genetic
advantage. His reasoning was that an ADHDer would be aware of any
movement
or change in the immediate environment & was able to react quicker
than
a
non ADHDer. ie If an ADHDer was watching the camp fire he would be
more
likely to see movement in the grass or trees nearby & react
accordingly
while the non ADHDer would be watching the fire & what was cooking &
miss
the lion, tiger or enemy sneaking up. The ADHDer being more alert
would
have
a better chance of survival. He might burn the food but he would
still
be
alive. As time progressed into our world this characteristic became a
problem & was reduced by natural selection as the ADHDers ended up
in
prison
or dead because of their reckless behaviour. A similar thing is
probably
still happening in 3rd world countries.
I cannot remember the area he quoted but there was a small village
in
Africa
that seemed to have a very high level of ADHD type behaviour. During
the
study a severe drought hit the area with large loss of life. When
the
study
group returned a year later they found that most of the survivors
were
those
that had been thought to be ADHD.
Margo


If all ADD/ADHD was due to bad parenting, I'd like to know how we
manage to
have such a small prison population. If we were all bad parents who
didn't
raise our children in "scriptural" manner, why do our children
eventually grow up
to be decent adults, like your husband, Maria. I think that as
Shirley
said,
this has always been with us. One discussion I was involved in came
to
the
conclusion that in the past people with ADHD were the ones who often
ended up
doing the physical jobs, like blacksmithing, carpentry, etc. Rather
than stay
in school where they were given a bad name for their behavior, they
would
apprentice out to someone. Bad parenting has nothing what so ever
to
do with a
genetic problem. My father has it, I have it and so does my son.
If
he chooses
to marry it is something that he will probably pass to his
children.
It
simply allows us to do things that "normies" can't because their
brains
don't work
the same way ours do. GOD created us with diversity NOT
uniformity.
That's
my very sleepy two cents worth. Send it with my name if you want
to.
Beth


I hope these posts encourage and enlighten all of you, Godspeed,

Maria