We're at the very end of bar mitzvah preparations ourselves, and I think Devra's
advice is spot on. We started a full year early on my son's very long parsha,
but kept an open mind about how much he would actually read in shul. This
helped keep the pressure off, and he learned the whole thing.

Like Devra, our biggest concern is how our son will react under pressure.
Talking through the events associated with the bar mitzvah, and visualizing the
various ways they may play out, will hopefully help him get through. But it's
also important to plan for meltdowns, and be forgiving. I am assuming that -
with all the pressure to "perform" in shul and at the party - our son will need
LOTS of leeway to fall apart at home. That means if he wants to hide in his
room after shul and not be social with the extended family, that's fine. (This
is probably true for non-ADD kids as well)

BTW, if you want your son to give a public dvar torah, you may want to think
about this. Our son has trouble writing and organizing his thoughts, but enjoys
learning one-on-one. So we offered him a couple of themes from the parsha to
learn about, and once he settled on one, my husband sat down and learned a few
psukim with him. My husband also took notes on what they'd learned together.
Later, we had our son teach me what he'd learned, by going over the notes (which
I read to him). As he talked, I typed. This review of his learning, expressed
in his own words, will form the basis of his speech.

Good luck!
Sandy
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Sandy Cash and Buddy Lipsky
sandyc@...
Voice: 02-991-9686

www.sandycash.com
www.cdbaby.com/sandyc2
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