What I said about making a mistake was more focused on how the kid himself
feels about making a mistake, but your point about asking people not to
correct is an important one. In our shul, one of the gabbaim is also usually
the bar mitzvah teacher and he makes this request as a matter of course. The
congregation is very well educated at this point, and they don't (usually)
correct ANYONE who is leining.

What I was referring to was a kid who would get flustered by the mistake,
even if no one else noticed ...


On 11/8/07, Susan Wolf <susanw@...> wrote:
>
> If you think that throwing toffees could be a problem for him- then just
> don't hand out candies- that would not be a sin!
>
>
>
> Also, I think it should be a RULE that shuls do NOT allow the congregants
> to shout out when there is a mistake. The mistakes should only be announced
> by two or three specific people- the rabbi and/or the barmitzva teacher and
> the parent. THIS should be announced in shul- for every kid but certainly
> add kids. my brother made a bar mitzvah in israel and made that announcement
> before his son read- and he is not ADD. Everyone
>
> Complied. People sometimes don't have enough sensitivity so they should be
> instructed!
>
>
> ------------------------------
>
> *From:* ADD_ADHD_LD@yahoogroups.com [mailto:ADD_ADHD_LD@yahoogroups.com] *On
> Behalf Of *Devra Ariel
> *Sent:* Thursday, November 08, 2007 1:40 PM
> *To:* Deena Navon
> *Cc:* ADD_ADHD_LD@yahoogroups.com
> *Subject:* Re: [ADD_ADHD_LD] Bar Mitzvahs
>
>
>
> If he's motivated, that's a big head start. Our son, whose issues are a
> bit
> different, did everything for his bar mitzvah and pulled it off
> beautifully.
> We were less confident in the beginning, so we started a full year in
> advance, with the understanding on everyone's part that he would learn as
> much as he could/wanted to. We made sure that he was aware of everything
> that might happen, and prepared him. We broke down the whole process,
> including the party, into smaller bits that were explainable. We talked
> about, for example, what would happen if no boys showed up for the party
> (since my son's issues are in a large part social this was a real fear
> that
> baruch Hashem didn't happen).
>
> Does he have learning issues? That will affect how long it takes him to
> learn the parsha and haftorah, and if he can learn all that. Does he have
> other issues? Be prepared for lots and lots and lots of stimulation at the
> party and in shul. Can your son stay in shul for the whole davening? My
> ADHD
> son (who is only 8) can't be in shul for more than 5 minutes, unless he's
> taken his Ritalin. Even then, davening is a big BIG challenge for him.
>
> If it was my kid (who does not have any LDs) I would say that learning the
> reading is the smallest part of the whole picture. Staying in shul, not
> getting overstimulated at the party and doing something stupid, not
> over-reacting if he gets pelted in the face by a toffee, staying calm if
> he
> makes a mistake during the actual reading (different experience than
> during
> practice), dealing with all the family around and crowds, these are all
> issues you should be thinking about.
>
> We live in Ma'aleh Adumim, so I don't think I can recommend a teacher.
> Where
> does your son go to school? If he's at Bnei Chayil I might have a
> suggestion, maybe.
>
> Mazal tov and much nachas!
> Devra
>
> On 11/8/07, Deena Navon <deena.navon@... <deena.navon%40gmail.com>>
> wrote:
> >
> > My ADHD son will soon be ready to prepare for his Bar Mitzvah, and I was
> > wondering what advice other parents who have already had Bar Mitzvahs
> for
> > their ADHD kids cna give me to make this process easier for my child. He
> > says he wants to do the entire parsha and haftarah, but I think I want
> to
> > give him a break. How have other parents of these kids handled the tasks
> > expected of a Bar Mitzvah boy. Also, can anyone recommend a Bar Mitzvah
> > teacher who works with ADHD kids, perhaps in the Gush Etzion area or
> > Jerusalem.
> >
> > Thank you,
> >
> > Deena
> >
> > [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
> >
> >
> >
>
> --
> Devra Ariel
> Mom to Elisheva, Akiva, Shira Rina, Chayim Zvi, and Moriyah
>
> Every day and its challenges: www.dailychallenges.blogspot.com
>
> The task of the educator lies in seeing that the child does not confound
> good with immobility and evil with activity.
>
> -- Maria Montessori
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>
>
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--
Devra Ariel
Mom to Elisheva, Akiva, Shira Rina, Chayim Zvi, and Moriyah

Every day and its challenges: www.dailychallenges.blogspot.com

The task of the educator lies in seeing that the child does not confound
good with immobility and evil with activity.

-- Maria Montessori


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]