If you think that throwing toffees could be a problem for him- then just
don't hand out candies- that would not be a sin!



Also, I think it should be a RULE that shuls do NOT allow the congregants
to shout out when there is a mistake. The mistakes should only be announced
by two or three specific people- the rabbi and/or the barmitzva teacher and
the parent. THIS should be announced in shul- for every kid but certainly
add kids. my brother made a bar mitzvah in israel and made that announcement
before his son read- and he is not ADD. Everyone

Complied. People sometimes don't have enough sensitivity so they should be
instructed!



_____

From: ADD_ADHD_LD@yahoogroups.com [mailto:ADD_ADHD_LD@yahoogroups.com] On
Behalf Of Devra Ariel
Sent: Thursday, November 08, 2007 1:40 PM
To: Deena Navon
Cc: ADD_ADHD_LD@yahoogroups.com
Subject: Re: [ADD_ADHD_LD] Bar Mitzvahs



If he's motivated, that's a big head start. Our son, whose issues are a bit
different, did everything for his bar mitzvah and pulled it off beautifully.
We were less confident in the beginning, so we started a full year in
advance, with the understanding on everyone's part that he would learn as
much as he could/wanted to. We made sure that he was aware of everything
that might happen, and prepared him. We broke down the whole process,
including the party, into smaller bits that were explainable. We talked
about, for example, what would happen if no boys showed up for the party
(since my son's issues are in a large part social this was a real fear that
baruch Hashem didn't happen).

Does he have learning issues? That will affect how long it takes him to
learn the parsha and haftorah, and if he can learn all that. Does he have
other issues? Be prepared for lots and lots and lots of stimulation at the
party and in shul. Can your son stay in shul for the whole davening? My ADHD
son (who is only 8) can't be in shul for more than 5 minutes, unless he's
taken his Ritalin. Even then, davening is a big BIG challenge for him.

If it was my kid (who does not have any LDs) I would say that learning the
reading is the smallest part of the whole picture. Staying in shul, not
getting overstimulated at the party and doing something stupid, not
over-reacting if he gets pelted in the face by a toffee, staying calm if he
makes a mistake during the actual reading (different experience than during
practice), dealing with all the family around and crowds, these are all
issues you should be thinking about.

We live in Ma'aleh Adumim, so I don't think I can recommend a teacher. Where
does your son go to school? If he's at Bnei Chayil I might have a
suggestion, maybe.

Mazal tov and much nachas!
Devra

On 11/8/07, Deena Navon <HYPERLINK
"mailto:deena.navon%40gmail.com"deena.navon@-gmail.com> wrote:
>
> My ADHD son will soon be ready to prepare for his Bar Mitzvah, and I was
> wondering what advice other parents who have already had Bar Mitzvahs for
> their ADHD kids cna give me to make this process easier for my child. He
> says he wants to do the entire parsha and haftarah, but I think I want to
> give him a break. How have other parents of these kids handled the tasks
> expected of a Bar Mitzvah boy. Also, can anyone recommend a Bar Mitzvah
> teacher who works with ADHD kids, perhaps in the Gush Etzion area or
> Jerusalem.
>
> Thank you,
>
> Deena
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>
>

--
Devra Ariel
Mom to Elisheva, Akiva, Shira Rina, Chayim Zvi, and Moriyah

Every day and its challenges: www.dailychallenges-.blogspot.-com

The task of the educator lies in seeing that the child does not confound
good with immobility and evil with activity.

-- Maria Montessori

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