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The ADD / ADHD Gazette
The FREE online ezine all about ADD and ADHD.
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*** ISSUE #18 ***
October 10th 1999 (This is a special issue)

IN THIS (special) ISSUE:
UK International ADHD Conference
Ideas For ODD Teens' Discipline From A Parent
New British Special Needs Website
Desperate Plea From A US Parent
ADHD in Girls May be Underdiagnosed


******************SPONSOR ************************

WILD CHILD - A Mother, A Son and ADHD - by Gail Miller
The true story of one mother, driven to the edge of despair
by her unruly son and her fight with 'the powers that be' for
recognition and treatment for his condition.
http://www.Amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/1872229247/gailmiller

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Hi all,
I know I said that the ADD / ADHD Gazette will be published
every three weeks from now on, and it will. However, I have had
such a lot of important information sent to me recently which is
building up and up and in order that it doesn't get lot or deleted
I really need to get out. So this issue is coming to you as an
addition to the 'normal' issue. No article this time therefore in
this bulletin, but there will be one in the normal issue which
comes out on the 17th October. Best wishes - Gail (Miller)

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UK International ADHD Conference

The Third Annual ADDISS Conference
25, 26, 27 November 1999 at Jarvis Parkway Hotel, Leeds UK

Speakers:-
Professor Eric Taylor
Dr Geoffrey Kewley, Consultant Paediatrician
Dr J.J Van Der Meere, Clinical Psychologist, Holland
Jerry Mills, Teacher, Singer/Songwriter, ADHD Adult, USA
Professor Peter Hill, Consultant Child & Adolescent Psychiatrist
Professor Loretta Giorcelli, Faculty of Education and Languages,
University of Western Sydney
Dr Daphne Keene,Consultant Paediatrician, St Georges Hospital
Dr Ron Weinstein, Clinical Director, The ADD Center & The Family
Conflict Centre of New England, Connecticut

Workshops
ABC of Educational Management of ADHD and Related Problems.
A brilliant combination of classroom practice, research and innovation
in meeting the challenges of learning and attention problems

Language Disorders in the Classroom
Their impact on learning and behaviour: successful management

Language, Learning and Behaviour Disorders in Adolescents
The contribution of Language disorders to learning disabilities,
its interaction, learning styles and details of management.

Identification of the ADHD Child in School: How ADHD confounds
the interpretation of Psycho-educational testing. Determining the
validity of tests and measurements for the AD/HD child.

Also
ADHD and Asperger Syndrome
ADHD and Dads: The Good, The Bad and The Ugly
ADHD and Tic Disorders
ADHD, Adolescents and Substance Abuse
Educational Implications and Classroom Approaches to
Pupils who Display ADHD and ADD in The School Setting
Changing Behaviour: It’s not only for Kids
Collaborative Management of ADHD - the Ed/Med Approach.
Dyspraxia and other Confusing labels Interacting with ADHD
Family Therapy: Helpful or Harmful?
How to Distinguish ADHD from Motivational Problems
How YOU Can Reach Even Your Most Challenging Students
Medication: Its Use, Its Abuse and How to Tell The Difference.
Prescribers Masterclass (doctors only).
Socialisation Groups for Children
Special Educational Needs and the Law – Know your Rights.
Teachers/Therapists as Coaches: Empowering Students With
Social and Emotional Tools
Teaching Social Skills to Children with ADHD

Adults
Adult ADHD: Assessment and Treatment
Coaching: What is Coaching and How can it help.
Growing into Adulthood with ADHD
How ADHD Affects Relationships: Friends and Marriage

For FULL details http://www.addiss.co.uk/Lectures.htm

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Ideas For ODD Teens' Discipline From A Parent
(reproduced with permission)

We have found that Magic 1-2-3 seems to work for younger
kids. (For those who aren't familiar with that process, that
where you say, "That's one, "etc. until you get to "That's three,
take 5 minutes.") BUT that hasn't ever worked on my teens.

We have come up with something that seems to help us
keep our cool and not get sucked into the uproar. We made
a list of the ODD things our teens commonly do. When they
start doing the stuff, we say, "That's one," or what ever the
number is that we have assigned to our list. It frustrated the
kids, but it keeps the parents from getting frazzled.

This is our list:

1. Deny. When confronted with facts, our ODD kids deny
it completely. That can really frazzle a parent. When they do
this in front of others, the parent looks like the idiot and the
kids look like are the ones making sense because they are
so calm and collected. Outsiders are then inclined to
believe the ODD kids instead of really looking at the facts.

2. Derail. When denial won't work, our ODD kids derail
the confrontation by focusing on some trivial aspect instead
of the issue at hand such as whether the paper is actually
green or yellow rather than what is written on the paper.
(In that case we may also say, "It's purple. Whatever,"
and keep to the point of what is written on the paper.)

3. Attack the accuser. When denial and derailing don't
work, our ODD kids attack the accuser. "You made me do it."
"It's all your fault that I ...." "IF you hadn't...., then I wouldn't
have had to ..." To the outsider, the ODDs position looks
like it is fully justifiable. To outsiders, The ODD position
looks like righteous indignation.

4. Run away. When the first three tactics don't work for
the ODD kids, they can't take it. They run away. They can
simply tune out. They can turn to drugs and alcohol. Or they
can actually run away physically (to their room, away from
home, etc.)

When they run away physically, they run to someone
else who will listen with a sympathetic ear.Then the ODD
kids lie, lie, lie to others about the facts and start the
uproar all over again in a larger circle. For us, it is important
to remember these four things that our ODD kids do. It keeps
us calm and focused on the issues. This calmness goes a
long way in making the teens ODD behaviour unsuccessful
and in presenting a rational response to outsiders who are
easily misled by the ODD teens.

Different kids use different behaviours. Yours may whine
instead of, or in addition to, derailing. Make your own list.
See if it helps you to keep from getting sucked into the uproar.

Be prepared for your teen to react strongly to you new
calmness. ODDs are grand manipulators and thrive on the
uproar and the "Let's you and him fight" scenario. If what they
have been doing no longer works, they will try MORE to get
the ODD behaviour to work. This includes exaggerated
behaviour at home, running away, and huge lies.

We have chosen to count from the list instead of being
sucked in to the uproar. As a result, my husband and I are more
united. One of us can usually spot which item on the list the
ODD is using and acknowledge that verbally so the that it
breaks the cycle of uproar. We feel better - not always being
pulled until we want to snap. Our teens hate it and claim to others
that their parents are crazy.... but they probably did that before
as well.

Try it. See if this works for you.
As with any advice, take what works for you and your family and
ignore the rest. Each family and each child is different and not
everything works for everyone. Best of luck to all. T

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New British Special Needs Website

I have a new UK website up at http://home.freeuk.net/specialneedsuk
here you will be able to find special needs information, articles,
listings of special schools, info on bullying, home schooling and a
section on individual disabilities and disorders. If anyone would
like me to include anything I have missed could they please email
me with the information or if any readers have any (short - medium
length) articles they have written, which they would like me to include
please feel free to send them to me on this address or
specialneedsuk@...

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Desperate Plea from A US Parent

My daughter has been diagnosed ADHD. ODD, Bipolar, it's pick
your shrink pick your diagnosis! Everyone wants to blame it on
the fact that she doesn't get along with my husband, who adopted
her. I will admit that may be a factor in slowing her progress, but K
has been a difficult child since birth! I did not meet my husband till
after she was 5. Chicken or the Egg syndrome!

They don't know how to handle her, but expect us too. Yes she
also has allergies. I remember seeing a Donahue on that subject
before Oprah came along! We've done antibiotic therapy,
antihistamines etc. As a small child she tested positve to milk, peanuts,
apples, chocolate ,etc etc. Later she tested positive to grass, pollen,
mold, smoke animals, etc etc. (Should I put her in a bubble? - at 17,
she probably wouldn't mind if John Travolta was there too!) Nothing
we did try seemed to work. We had no medical insurance, and
seemed to make just enough money to disqualify us for the services
we did find!

My biggest gripe is the school system. They should be there to help
us find resources! I've been asking for years, well they've pushed me
too far. They've made me feel like it's all my fault. I refuse to take the
blame any longer, it's not my fault, any more than it is theirs. It just is!
Now maybe you can put some blame on genetics, I think I'm ADHD
too! Because it interferes with her education, the law says they are
supposed to help. 504 spec. ed. IEP. I don't care at this point, but they
better do something to help! They all think I'm wacky, and keep
dragging their feet in re: to testing.

After writing a letter, and sending it to her guidance counsellor,
the superintendent of schools, and the office of civil rights, we
finally have an appointment with the school psychologist next Friday.
I told him if they had to label me crazy to help her they were more than
welcome to tattoo it across my forehead! Whatever it takes, just help
this child! I'll shut up for now. If anyone can offer advice, could they
please email Gail at theadhdgazette@... Thanks, Paula

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ADHD in Girls May be Underdiagnosed

Although girls with attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD)
exhibit the same inattentiveness, impetuousness and hyperactivity as
boys, they are less likely to be as disruptive, according to recent research.
And it is this disruptiveness that typically drives a parent to seek
medical help that leads to the ADHD diagnosis. Full article at
http://www.drkoop.com/news/stories/july/adhd_girls.html

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IMPORTANT DISCLAIMER
Items herein are published for education/information purposes
only. Any therapy, product, service, or featured web site mentioned
does NOT imply endorsement by The Gazette. Accuracy and
content of any web sites featured cannot be guaranteed. Views
and statements written by contributors are not necessarily the
views of The ADD / ADHD Gazette.

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LINKS
If you have a website and are looking for links. I am happy to add
a reciprocal link to The ADHD (UK) Website. Take a look at my
site http://home.freeuk.net/theadhdgazette and email me to swap links

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SEE YA NEXT TIME ~ Gail Miller 1999
theadhdgazette@...

And remember ..........
"If your not making waves than you ain't kicking hard enough"