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The ADD / ADHD GAZETTE
Knocking down the walls of ignorance

Gail Miller
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*** ISSUE #7 ***

The ADD / ADHD GAZETTE. A FREE online ezine all about
the issues surrounding ADD / ADHD and co-morbid
conditions and syndromes. Authors' views are not
necessarily the views of The ADD / ADHD Gazette.

This community has now grown to 1,357 subscribers!

==========Sponsor=================================

The Mental Health Matters Newsletter
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Mental Health Matters!
The User-friendly Mental Health Directory
FREE search Service available.
http://www.mental-health-matters.com/

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IN THIS ISSUE:

#1 -- NEWS & VIEWS

#2 -- UK FOCUS

#3 -- ARTICLES: A.D.D. Coaching "…Catalyst For Success"
A Turning Point, or Clutching at Straws?

#4 -- RESOURCES

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IMPORTANT DISCLAIMER
Items in this newsletter are published for educational
and / or informational purposes only. Any therapy,
product, service, or featured web site mentioned here,
does NOT imply endorsement or approval by The ADD /
ADHD Gazette. The accuracy and content of any web sites
featured here cannot be guaranteed. Thoughts, views and
and statements written by contributors are not
necessarily the views of The ADD / ADHD Gazette.

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# 1 News & Views

For those who have kindly sent articles in to me for
publication, could you please bear with me. There have
been so many submitted - and I want to publish them
all, but due to the length of the newsletter I can
only realistically fit in one (or at the most 2)
per issue. So please do not think I have disregarded
anything sent to me - I WILL get round to publishing
everything eventually - Gail

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Dear Gail,
After my appearance on Oprah last week, millions of
parents watched my children and I as we began our typical
weekday -- with soothing music and candles.

My book, 10 Principles For Spiritual Parenting
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0060952415/theaddadhdgaze
was already in its fourth printing and sold out the day
the piece aired. Another emergency printing went into
action & books are available again. I have been speaking
around the country on children, parenting & family life.
This press release gives you a feel for the book:-

Mimi

1998 Parents' Choice Award Winner

10 Principles For Spiritual Parenting Receives an "Oscar!"
(Concord, Massachusetts. December 28, 1998) 10 Principles
For Spiritual Parenting by Mimi Doe with Marsha Walch, Ph.D.
was awarded a 1998 Parents' Choice Approved Seal from the
Parents' Choice Foundation on December 9, 1998 for projecting
strong, solid human values.

The Parents' Choice Annual Awards are the nationally coveted
awards for the year's best in all fields of children's
media. According to the national print and broadcast press,
"The Parent's Choice Awards have become the Oscars of
children's products."

In 10 Principles For Spiritual Parenting, Mimi Doe (along
with the help of her own mother, Marsha Walch, Ph.D) opens
our eyes to the spontaneous, creative, freethinking joy that
characterises a child's natural spirituality. The author
points out that opportunities to express spirituality are
abundant in our routine life. Talking at dinner, lighting
candles, performing daily chores--all of these events have
the potential to be sacred moments. Called “Parenting Guru”
by Ladies Home Journal, Doe reminds us that “All children
begin life with an innate sense of wonder about their world.”

10 Principles for Spiritual Parenting is an invaluable
guide for parents who yearn to help their children nurture
a rich spirituality of their own. It was a finalist in the
1998 Books For a Better Life Award and will be an
alternate selection in One Spirit Book club.

BULLYING ONLINE http://www.bullying.co.uk A web site for
parents of children and and students suffering bullying
Particular questions can be addressed to help@...
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Dear Gail,

I moderate a discussion group about special needs children
who also require a foreign-language computer keyboard, such
as (but not limited to) Hebrew.

It would be appreciated if you would inform your subscribers
about my discussion group. I believe that it could supplement
the information which they receive from your Gazette, and
that your readers would appreciate it.

They can subscribe to my list by sending a blank message to
SpecialHebrew-Subscribe@eGroups.com
also
Subscribe to our nine moderated Jewish and Hebrew discussion
groups: at http://www.egroups.com/group/jewishhebrew/info.html

David Grossman

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DON WINKLER who has a 'dyslexic brain' cannot form mental
images naturally. "I see almost everything backward," he
says. This has not held him back however, as in five years
he has built the finance arm of Banc One Corp. in Columbus,
Ohio, to having $26 billion in assets. He did this with
'quirky thinking'. Dyslexia is often associated with poor
concentration, and Mr Winkler suffered somewhat in this
direction. He says his brother used to bring college
friends home purposely confuse him by saying silly things.
He also used to sing wrong words when singing in the choir.

But with his mother's encouragement he struggled with
the graphics of geometry and thrived on the abstractions
of calculus. He then started earning money by repairing
other people's electrical appliances and this aptitude
won him a management job. Instead of managing from his
office, he mingled with the workers on the shop floor.
His talent with the machines enabled him to drive down
the cost of making a chip from dollars to cents.

Later he joined Citibank where he moved the president's
desk from an upper-story office into the middle of the
lobby, where service problems were in plain view. Over
the next five years, profits soared.

Mr Winkler discovered that he could actually become
skilful in the tasks previously holding him back.
Often anxious, he trained himself to relax between
meetings and over the years his reading speeded up
to 1,000 words a minute! The most essential element
in Mr Winklers success? - Asking the most ridiculous
questions possible, while handing out clown noses in
meetings. "The dumber the question" he says, "the more
people laugh at you and the more likely it will lead
to breakthroughs."

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I'm conducting a survey on ADHD & Internet use
for an academic research paper I'm writing at NYU.

If you'd like to contribute to the effort, go to
http://home.att.net/~adhdonline/ and click on
"Survey" Your email address will not be distributed
to anyone and the survey itself is anonymous. Thanks
in advance to those that participate.

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# 2 UK Focus

SPECIAL NEEDS INFO. An informative website with links
to British resources; organisations, information, etc
http://members.xoom.com/MagsSchwa/index.html

A Long listing of special schools in Britain from
the National Autistic Society. EXCELLENT page
http://www.jaymuggs.demon.co.uk/schools.htm

THE TEACHER SUPPORT NETWORK - A really good site
with all the very latest education news, Web directory,
Free teaching resources http://www.cargoes.co.uk/tsn/

COMMUNITY CARE WEBSITE with message board and hundreds of
links - Excellent http://maxpages.com/communitycare

Skill: National Bureau for Students with Disabilities
Chapter House, 18-20 Crucifix Lane, London SE1 3JW
Tel: 0800 328 5050 (voice) 0800 068 2422 (text)
Fax: 0171 450 0650
E-mail: info@...
Website: http://www.Skill.org.uk
This is an excellent website with all the information
you could ever need if you are going into further education
with special needs.

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# 3 A.D.D. Coaching "…Catalyst For Success"

According to the International Federation of Coaches,
coaching is an ongoing partnership which focuses on
clients taking action toward the realisation of their
visions, goals or desires. As a coach for adults with
A.D.D., I define coaching as the catalyst for success.

Discovery is the first word that comes to mind whenever
I think of my profession. I truly believe that we all
have within us, what we need, to live rich and fulfilling
lives, and as a coach, I help individuals discover this.
Coaching is a process of learning by inquiry, not by
consultation. As a coach I am there to assist my client's
personal discovery through self awareness. I do this by
providing encouragement and support each step along the
way, giving feedback when appropriate to help build upon
each success, no matter how small. This process becomes
self-fulfilling, as one success leads to another. As a
coach, I am the catalyst for that upward spiral they are
about to embark upon when they decide to begin the
coaching experience. In my office, or over the phone,
the coaching experience consists of three phases.

Assessing the situation is the first phase of creating an
upward spiral. Many clients come to me very clear about
their limitations and what they can't do, but are unaware
of their strengths and what they can do. All too often
their weaknesses have been pointed out to them over and
over, and their differences in learning styles and
abilities have been the source of pain and rejection.
In other words, they have experienced that dreaded downward
spiral of goofing up, feeling bad about it, not caring,
giving up, and then goofing up even more. What new clients
often do not recognise, is their own strength and
determination. Many are hungry for the upward spiral to
begin, but just don't know how to jump start it, to make
it happen. That it where a good coach can be of help. The
place to start is always where you are at, so a thorough
inventory of the client's capabilities is a powerful place
to begin. I find this list to be unending with my A.D.D.ers
as they are creative, intuitive, energetic, entrepreneurial,
fun-loving, quiet, loud, zany, impulsive, courageous,
stubborn, and more. They are their fingerprints, and for
them to fully realise this is always the best place to
begin. Rock solid self esteem comes from celebrating the
fact that there is no one else in the world just like you.
The first phase, as well as the next two, involve what I
refer to as re-framing, or seeing the glass half full,
instead of half empty. This is very valuable, as it helps
create motivation and sustain it.

One thirty five year old client came to me very tired of
the limitations his stubbornness had created for him. When
he learned new, more effective communication skills, he
was able to be persistent, without being stubborn, and
took a great deal of pride developing, what he originally
thought was a fault, into an asset. Once the client gets
the hang of re-framing, watch out! That upward spiral is
pretty hard to slow down. Individuals who can clearly define
what they
have to work with, and what they need to work on, are ready
for the second phase of the upward spiral process.

Committing to a game plan is phase two. As clients
recognise their special abilities and uniqueness in phase
one, self-esteem begins to flourish. Motivation becomes
natural, and the possibilities of what can be done, start
to take shape as the client enters phase two. In this
phase of coaching, the client makes a commitment to begin
working on what is important for their self development
and growth. It may be discovered that working on
controlling impulsivity is a priority, or that
organisational skills are what is needed most. One
client described phase two best by saying, "It's such a
relief to know where to start, and to finally be ready to
do something about it." Clearly defining what needs to be
done with measurable criteria is an important part of phase
two. Writing down what you want to accomplish, with all the
specifics, is very important. It later serves as a reminder
of how of far you have come, as well as what still needs to
be done. Re-framing in phase two consists of looking at your
goals as a challenge, instead of work. To sustain motivation
and increase the likely-hood of success, it is very
important to determine the value of what it is you are doing.
One client whose impulsivity had detrimental effects on her
relationship with family members, was able to remind herself
how less impulsive behaviour would benefit not only herself,
but create more harmony within the family. This was a source
of comfort for her, as she resolved to continue her efforts
at developing more appropriate responses. Connecting with the
worth of what it was she wanted, made the process easier.

The third phase is to take action. Being there to encourage
my clients and help keep them on track is both strenuous
and rewarding. This is the learning phase where we make an
agreement not to use the word failure. When results aren't
as expected, we agree to re-frame the situation, seeing what
was positive about it and what can be learned from it to
continue that upward spiral. It's important in this phase
to keep trying, until you find what works. This is when most
individuals give up, if they don't have a coach to encourage
them. Coaching provides a warm and supportive environment in
which to grow and learn safely. This is the fun phase for me,
as it's where I get to be a cheerleader and say real cool
things like, "Way to go!" It's also where I need to step
aside so I don't get in the way as the spiral grows. Knowing
that my clients are ready to continue on their own is my
best reward as a coach. As I watch my clients tap into their
full potential, I am comforted by knowing that I have been
the catalysts to that process for them and can do the same
for others to come.

----------------------------------------------------------

Copyright Sandy Maynard 1999 Sandy is owner of Catalytic
Coaching in Washington, DC, is a personal performance coach
specialising in adults with ADD and author of A.C.T. Now,
a workbook and interactive internet coaching course for
adults with ADD. Sandy has written several articles on time
management and organisation. She lectures nationally on a
variety of coaching subjects and brings her coaches training
workshops to wherever they are needed. For more information
you can visit her web site at http://www.sandymaynard.com

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The following article was written by a British parent. Her
vivid and moving account portrays just a few of the 'brick
walls' UK parents come up against year in, year out in
their efforts to get appropriate treatment for their children.

A Turning Point, or Clutching at Straws?

It was the first day of the Christmas holidays, 1997.
We were all linked to schools; my three children
studying, myself and my husband as teachers. My husband
has long-since learned to keep himself away from home
....to escape the 'norm' of living with a teenage
ADHD son, and the inevitable disruption and rows.

In his infinite wisdom, he had arranged for workmen
to come and replace the soffits/guttering, so no
lie-in to recover from the term just gone, severe
behaviour from our son, and Christmas just 4 days away.
I was NOT happy! All the children were up; I couldn't
even leave the front room to visit the loo, or get
dressed. Another day was underway, and I was unable to
control any of the events that took place.

In recent weeks, I'd had to deal with being threatened
with a broomstick, my pets being tortured, a drugs
overdose, my other kids having missiles (like stools)
launched at them .... and here I was, sat in my dressing
gown, imprisoned in my own front room. Suddenly,
something inside of me snapped, and I called the Child
Psychology Unit, asking for "Jack", who, of course, was
not in. I left a message, asking for him to get back to
me, though as the phone had been kindly unplugged for me
(by Andrew) it was a few hours later before "Jack" could
get through. He must have heard the desperation in my
voice, as he was over in the space of half an hour. It
was coming up for tea time, and I was still in my
dressing gown. He saw the looks on the faces of me and
my daughters, and saw we were in need of something drastic.
We were told about a residential assessment centre, about
25 miles away, which could take Andrew and assess him
thoroughly, both medically and educationally. By this time,
my husband had come home, and we all discussed the choices,
agreeing on the course of action proposed. (Well, Andrew
didn't, but at that point, no one was bothered!)

The following afternoon, "Jack" called in again, to tell
us that the referral had been made, and there was a place
for Andrew in early January, probably as soon as the new
school term started. We were amazed! At last, after
nearly a decade, something seemed to be getting done. As
I got used to the idea, I started thinking of all the
things I could do that were previously not possible:
walking the dogs without making an appointment for my
husband to be at home, re-join things I'd belonged to
before ADD took over my life 24 hours a day, invite
friends over have a dinner party ...... of course, I
had no friends left, so apart from the dogs, I wasn't
sure who to include in these activities!

The whole episode shook Andrew, as it was something
totally out of his control, and the rest of the holidays
were just about bearable - well most of the time.
January came and went, and we heard nothing. I had
contacted Andrew's school, to tell them what was proposed,
and he started getting hassled by staff there, wanting
to know when he was going! At the end of January, after a
long, long search for the phone number, not in ANY
directory)I was able to contact the centre, and heard
they had been having building work done, so no one had
been admitted in January; what worried me more, was that
no one seemed to know about Andrew! I rang "Jack", told
him what I'd heard, and he just repeated that the referral
had been made. February arrived, and eventually, an
invitation to look around and attend a family conference
during the half term break.

Getting there was difficult, as Andrew was not too keen
on going, and as we got nearer the place, he got more
and more hyped up. By the time we were seen, after a
half-hour wait, he was truly wound up, but at least we
were in the right place. One of my daughters was not at
all impressed. Most of the in-patients had bandages
around their wrists, and there seemed to be no structure
to what was going on. However, we agreed to go ahead,
and eventually, on March 4th, at 3.30pm, I got a
call at work, asking me to take him in on the Friday!

I quickly arranged time off, and rang his school, then
set off to meet him in town. I told him the news over a
burger, and predictably, he ran off. We went home,
eventually, and there was a message on the answer phone,
saying me that the place was no longer available! In the
space of an hour, since speaking to them, TWO emergencies
had cropped up. I could not believe it! I had just got
Andrew used to the idea, and now it was being changed.

On March 11th, I got another phone call, to tell me he
could go the following day. Actually, I deferred it
until the Friday, giving me time to get organised.
Getting Andrew there turned out far easier than I
expected. I had anticipated him running off, refusing
to get in the car, even trashing a room or taking an
overdose. However, he only put up a token resistance.
On our arrival, we were 'interviewed' at length. At
one point, the two of us were left for a break of
about 15 minutes, during which time the room was
locked from the outside!

The room had a 2 way mirror, and as Andrew was
experienced with these, he gave a good show! On her
return, the interviewer told us that a decision had been
reached. They would take Andrew, but as he was 'such an
unusual case', they would do the assessment over an
intensive fortnight, instead of their usual 6 weeks, and
after that, it would be up to us and our own health team
to deal with any findings / start up any treatment, etc.

I was then told about the regime for parents. Visiting
was for 2 hours on a Saturday and Sunday afternoon, and
two hours on a Tuesday and Thursday evening. Originally,
we were told the children were not allowed out, or to go
home for a fortnight, though as a long-standing family
party was planned the following weekend, this was still
permitted. Andrew was agitated, and threatening to run
away; I was assured this would not happen! Just as we
were given lunch, a taxi came to take us to Leeds General
Infirmary, where Andrew was to have a brain scan. At this
point, I became more relaxed, because it showed me that
they were not only being thorough with their tests, but
not wasting any time about it, either.

When we went to visit on the Saturday afternoon, we were
confined to the unit, and found we had to become experts
at pool and other indoor past times. The next day was
Mother's Day, and Andrew had arranged with his grandma to
bring his present over, so he could give it to me
himself. When we got there, he announced we could go out.
I explained the 2-week rule, only to be told it had been
overruled; hhmm, what are we told about ensuring we stick
to a decision once it's been made? My fortnight's respite
never happened. With visiting twice during the week, I
didn't get home until after 9.00pm, and in my teaching
role, I had a Parents Evening and Science Week to fill
much of my time. The second weekend was my parents'
Golden Wedding anniversary, and the whole family had
organised a surprise weekend in Cumbria. My (new) car
broke down on the way back, and the diagnosis was so
bad that we ended up being driven back to West Yorkshire
on the back of a lorry. Needless to say, I could hardly
ask the breakdown driver to make a 40 plus mile diversion,
so we went straight home.

You won't be surprised to hear that Andrew had no
intentions of returning to the centre! We had a few hours
of hell, culminating in the telephone being irreparably
broken ..... well, I was ringing the unit for advice on how
to get him back there. The advice? Let him stay at home.
(We did, eventually, calm him down and get him back that
same night.) For most of the 2 weeks, Andrew behaved
himself. It was a small unit with lots of staff, and a fair
amount of freedom. On visiting times, I was expected to
take him out, and I soon learned where Macdonald's and the
best fish and chips were.

Do I sound disillusioned with the place? Well, I am!
Every time I visited, I asked Andrew what he had been
doing, and what tests he had had, and it was the same
answer ..... they had done nothing that the others
hadn't done. We had quickly learned that Andrew was the
only ADD patient; all the others, (approximately 15)
were in for eating disorders or suicide attempts. Having
had 3 months to get used to the idea of him going for a
thorough assessment, I was pinning a great deal on this
unit. I understood that he would be fully assessed,
medically and educationally. Once all the reports were
gathered in, a diagnosis could be made, and once we had
a diagnosis, we could get much-needed help and support.
I should have known better! Since Andrew was aged 4, I
have tried to get help, not only for Andrew, but also for
the family: our lives are wrecked, emotionally and socially,
and no one can come up with the support we so badly need.

We need to know exactly what Andrew's problems are and
how he can expect to develop through his teenage years
and beyond. The family need to know there is someone who
understands the extent of Andrew's disabilities, and how
these manifest themselves in all aspects of his life.
They also need to realise the extent Andrew's problems
affect people around him, immediate family, extended
family and teachers, pupils, the community and so on. We
thought a door was finally opening when we agreed to him
going to the unit, yet even before he had unpacked his
bags, they were reducing his time there by two-thirds.

Other patients were there for as long as was needed; one
girl who was his closest friend had already been there
over 12 MONTHS, and was still there long after he left.
I had given the unit lots of information, and voiced my
other concerns; as well as the ADD, he has poor co
-ordination skills, learning difficulties, a slight
speech impediment, heart murmur, is long-sighted, has
slight asthma and eczema, shows obsessive behaviour, is a
thief, can be cruel to pets, is aggressive, abusive, etc.
yet he was never examined by a speech therapist,
physiotherapist, his eyes were not tested, (did not take
his glasses with him). The detailed medical investigations
I envisaged, and pinned my hopes on, never happened.

The weekend after he was discharged, I had to take him
back for 6 hours, during which time he underwent an
educational psychological assessment. When we left, after
this assessment, that was it! My husband and I returned
once, and got just the results to the final assessment
..... which we had received, by post, anyway. Nothing
has changed! We know nothing now that we didn't know the
day he was referred, except that as a family, we are
getting incredibly cynical about any straws that may
be offered. There was no advice, no support, no health
diagnosis (apart from the brain scan and a blood test
which involved 4 adults holding him down, screaming).

I still ask myself how I was led to believe it would be the
answer we had been waiting for. My middle child (then 15)
expected no less. I suppose that I was so desperate that
I would clutch at any straws that were offered; 1 year
later, I am still waiting. I KNOW there is no magic wand,
but why is ADHD considered to be of so little consequence?

-----------------------------------------------------

Copyright Mrs A H 1999
Could any comments or feedback regarding this vivid and
rather enlightening article please be sent to ME at
gailmiller@... to be forwarded the author.

================================================

#4 Resources

Positive Discipline A-Z: 1001 Solutions to Everyday
Parenting Problems" by Jane Nelsen, Lynn Lott, H. Stephen Glenn
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0761514708/theaddadhdgaze
If your child has had one too many temper tantrums in the
grocery store at rush hour, "Positive Discipline A-Z" will
come in handy. It's packed with "parenting pointers" and
suggestions for working through hundreds of sticky situations,
from aggression to messy rooms and all points in between.

BRAND NEW ADHD MESSAGE BORAD at
http://venus.beseen.com/boardroom/s/28138/PostRe
Meet new friends and share experiences.

AMERICAN ASSOCIATION OF SUICIDOLOGY (AAS)
http://www.suicidology.org/ Dedicated to the
understanding and prevention of suicide.
Promoting research, public awareness,
education & training for professionals/volunteers

Mediconsult.com: Attention Deficit Disorder Medical Information
http://www.mediconsult.com/add/

Medical News - Doctor's Guide to the Internet
http://www.pslgroup.com/mednews.htm

naturalSCIENCE Magazine: Home Page
http://naturalscience.com/ns/nshome.html

Science ŕ GoGo - Science with knobs on!
http://www.scienceagogo.com/

Science News Online - The Weekly Newsmagazine of Science
http://www.sciencenews.org/

Subscribe to MO-INET News - Marketing on the Internet
Marketing Information, News Digest, Jokes/Trivia, Health Information,
Money Making Affiliate Programs and more.
Informative!! Keep up to date on the latest Internet Business.
To subscribe mailto:moinetnews2@...

===========================================================

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LINKS
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to add a reciprocal link to The ADHD (UK) Website. Take a
look at my site at http://www.gailmiller.clara.net and
email me if you would like to swap links

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SEE YA NEXT TIME ...............
Gail Miller 1999 gailmiller@...