"As soon as we begin to feel confident in our new way of life and have
begun, by our behavior and example, to convince those about us that we
are indeed changing for the better, it is usually safe to talk in
complete frankness with those who have been seriously affected, even
those who may be only a little or not at all aware of what we have done
to them. The only exceptions we will make will be cases where our
disclosure would cause actual harm. These conversations can begin in a
casual or natural way. But if no such opportunity presents itself, at
some point we will want to summon all our courage, head straight for
the person concerned, and lay our cards on the table. We needn't wallow
in excessive remorse before those we have harmed, but amends at this
level should always be forthright and generous." (Twelve and Twelve,
Step Nine, pg. 85)