WHEN WE SAY / WE MEAN ...

bizah = bizzar, odd
flahwiz = flowers
hahpahst = half past (30 minutes) the hour
Hahwahya? = How are you?
khakis = Car keys
pissah = superb
retahded = retarded, silly
shewah = sure, of course
wikkid = wicked, extremely
yiz = you, plural
popcahn = popcorn
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HOW WE'LL KNOW YOU WEREN'T BON HEAH (Born Here):

You wear a Harvard sweatshirt.
You cross at a crosswalk.
You ask directions to "Cheers."
You order a grinder and a soda.
You follow soccer.
You eat at Durgin Park.

You pronounce it "Worchester" (Wooster or Woosta) or
"Glouchester"(Glouster, or Glousta). You call it "COPEly" Square (Copley
Square).
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GETTING AROUND:

Pay no attention to the street names.
There's no school on School Street, no court on Court Street, no dock on
Dock Square, no water on Water Street.

Back Bay streets are in alphabetical order, Arlington, Berkeley,
Clarendon, Dartmouth. So are South Boston streets: A, B, C, D.

If the streets are named after trees (Walnut, Chestnut, Cedar), you're
on Beacon Hill.

If they're named after poets, you're in Wellesley.

All avenues are properly referenced by their nicknames: Comm Ave. is
Commonwealth Ave., Mass Ave. is Massachusetts Ave., Dot Ave. is
Dorchester, Rozzie is Roslindale, JP is Jamaica Plain. Readville doesn't
exist.
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THE NORTH-EAST-SOUTH-WEST THING:

Southie is South Boston. The South End is the South End. Eastie is East
Boston.
The North End is east of the West End.

The West End and Scollay Square are no more - a guy named Rappaport got
rid of them one night.
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DEFINITIONS:

Frappes have ice cream; milk shakes don't.

If it's fizzy and flavored, it's tonic.
Soda is club soda.
Pop is Dad.
When we mean tonic WATER, we say tonic WATER.

The smallest beer is a pint.

Scrod is whatever they tell you it is, usually fish. If you paid more
than $6 a pound, you got scrod.

It's not a water fountain, it's a bubblah (Bubbler).

It's not a trash can, it's a barrel.
It's not a shopping cart, it's a carriage.
It's not a purse, it's a pocketbook.
It's not a liquor store, it's a packie.

Brown bread comes in a can. You open both ends, push it out, heat it and
eat it with baked beans.

They're not franks, they're haht dahgs (hot dogs). Franks are money in
France.
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THINGS NOT TO DO:

Don't call it Beantown.

Don't pahk your cah in Hahvid Yahd (Park your Car in Harvard Yard).
They'll tow it to Meffa (Medford) or Slumaville (Somerville).

Don't swim in the Charles (River), no matter what Bill Weld tells you.

Don't sleep in the Common (Boston Common).

Don't wear orange in Southie on St. Patrick's Day.
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THINGS YOU SHOULD KNOW:

There are two State Houses, two City Halls, two courthouses, two Hancock
buildings (one old, one new).

Route 128 is also I-95. It is also I-93.

It's the Sox (Red Sox), the Pats (or Patsies if they're losing)
(Patriots), the Seltz (Celtics), the Broons (Bruins).

The underground train is not a subway. It's the T, and it doesn't run
all
night, (fah chrysakes, this ain't Noo Yawk).