I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I'm not
dumb .... and I also know that I'm not blonde.
                            -Dolly
Parton-

You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see a
smart woman with a dumb guy.
                             -Erica
Jong-


I want to have children, but my friends scare me. One of my friend told
me she was in labor for 36 hours. I don't even want to do anything that
feels good for 36 hours.
                                  -Rita
Rudner-


I've been on so many blind dates, I should get a free dog.
                           -Wendy
Liebman-


If high heels were so wonderful, men would still be wearing them.
                               -Sue
Grafton-


I'm not going to vacuum 'til Sears makes one you can ride on.
                         -Roseanne
Barr-


I think-therefore I'm single.
                          -Lizz
Winstead-


When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade
another country.
                        -Elayne
Boosler-


Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.      
           -Maryon Pearson-


I base most of my fashion taste on what doesn't itch.
                        -Gilda
Radner-


In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man; if you want anything
done, ask a woman.
                -Margaret Thatcher-


I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a
career.

Some of us are becoming the men we wanted to
marry.                        
-Gloria Steinem-


I never married because there was no need. I have three pets at home
which answer the same purpose as a husband.
I have a dog that growls every morning,
a parrot that swears all afternoon, and a cat that comes home late at
night.
               -Marie Corelli-


Nagging is the repetition of unpalatable  
truths.                                                               
Baroness Edith-Summerskill


If men can run the world, why can't they   stop wearing neckties? How
intelligent
is it to start the day by tying a little
noose around your neck?
                     Linda
Ellerbee-


I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man I keep his house.
                       -Zsa
Zsa Gabor-


Nobody can make you feel inferior without your permission.
                         -Eleanor
Roosevelt-