Hello fellow doctor-phobics! My name is Alice and I am 28 years
old. I am TERRIFIED of doctors. I did manage to have a son, who is
2 years old and went to all of my appointments. Let me assure you
that the first half of the pregnancy I was freaking them out good
with my blood pressure of 180/100 as I have white coat syndrome. In
the end, I developed pre eclampsia and had to have an emergency c-
section. This was the most terrifying thing I think I have ever been
through. I actually went into something of an emotional shock-type
state when they told me what they were planning to do to me. They
strapped my arms down and that was that. I know they had to do it or
my son would have died...and that was the only reason I didn't get up
and run!

Currently, I have been having problems with my stomach. I have had
abdominal pain about once a year for the past eight years. I chalked
it up to gall bladder and went on with life. I, as many of you,
treat myself at home. Well, about a month ago I got this pain under
my ribs and it would not stop. It got so bad I couldn't even take
care of my son! I finally went to the emergency room (my husband is
a nurse there, lol). It has to be BAD to go to the ER as I have not
been there in probably 15 years. I was SURE it was my gallbladder.
I had elevated white blood cells, but no stones showed up in the
ultrasound. Can you believe that? They couldn't find anything wrong
with me. I think it is gas!

Problem is, they told me I MUST find a doctor (the only doctor I have
is my OB/GYN and she won't handle stomach problems). I do not have a
regular GP. They told me I need to have a hide-a-scan done where
they put radioactive dye in your blood and scan your organs. They
want to see if my gallbladder is working at all. If it isn't, well
of course they want to remove it. I don't think so! To make matters
worse, my uncle is a doctor and he has scared me to death by speaking
of my needing scopes, etc. This is just not going to happen.

I don't know if I really have a problem or if I am just suffering
from anxiety. I feel like I need to swallow a lot and I feel like I
need to burp all the time. I just don't know...I am miserable but I
cannot go to the doctor. I just can't.

I am not only terrified of what doctors do to me, but I am terrified
of them telling me I am going to die of something. See, many of you
want to know if you have something wrong so you can get it taken care
of. However, I have the irrational belief that if I don't know about
something, it won't exist. I know this is nuts, but that is the way
I am. I am afraid they will tell me I have cancer or something and
then I would die for certain worrying. And would not enjoy the last
part of my life. Oh, I just don't know what to do at all!

Anyway, I am just happy that I could tell you all this and not feel
like I am being viewed as insane. People get so frustrated with me
and it makes it worse.

Thanks for listening,

Alice