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Dear S.D.--
Please do not take this as any form of criticism of your reply to ncrnation's post. In fact I think your suggestions to her were helpful, productive and well meaning, however, I think you underestimate the terror that the true phobic feels when contemplating even the possibility of a doctor's visit. While I think the suggestion to obtain medication from Mexico etc, may resolve the immediate problem, as you accurately point out if a person has a serious condition that requires treatment, it simply mandates medical care. However, the fact that she will be covered up, or that it takes only 15 minutes is doesn't diminish the dread fear (for example, someone who is truly phobic about flying, even thinking of 15 minutes in a plane is terrifying).
Though I can't speak for ncarnation, as I know nothing about her personally, I suspect that whatever actual pain that might be associated with a medical procedure is not her fear. Rather, I think it has to do with the loss of control and autonomy over her own body. While I couldn't agree with you more that 15 minutes of discomfort beats death, fear of being diagnosed with a serious condition, and fearing the attendant weeks and months of involvement with doctors and hospitals etc., makes at least me question whether one with this phobia may just be better off allowing nature to take its course.
Please do not take this as criticism, but just another view of the problem.
RJS
-----Original Message-----Well, you can find or request a female doc,
From: S.D. [mailto:suedarnell@...]
Sent: Tuesday, October 10, 2000 8:39 AM
To: 000-Fear-Of-Doctors@egroups.com
Subject: Re: [000-Fear-Of-Doctors] have to go, but don't want to
Go to a ladies clinic and request a female,
Order what pills you want from England or Holland (Netherlands?),
Go to Mexico and get pills,
Or make an ugly face. It'll be over in 15 minutes.
Forget relaxation, though. Just try.
Oh, you will be all covered up with drapes, (sheets)_,and only a couple of inches
are exposed at a time.
It's not that bad.
Worse comes to worse, tell him or her, you want to know exactly what he is doing,
everything, before he does it. And tell him/her to talk to you about why you are
required to have an exam.
I mean there ARE a few people that have cervical cancer and don't know it.
So an exam (it is minor) is an altermative to death, for sure.
You would want that cr-p out of you.
It would ususally be obvious, though. Visually with an internal look.
The only part that hurts, is the pap smear. And that is really a split second. Like
a little pinch. I always make an ugly face, make fists, and grit my teeth anyway
for it. Relax? Maybe if you can bring your "partner" with you". I mean, he might as
well see what women have to go through.
I'd stick with the condoms, myself. Are they breaking? There are alternatives to
intercourse, and you can use them with the rythym system and not even use condoms,
actually..
They tell you not to douch before an exam but that is crazy, too.
They wish they could douch, imho.
-SD
Ncrnation@... wrote:
> it was so nice to find this site. i feel so much less alone.
>
> i too am terrified of going to the doctors. for me, i find the whole process
> very violating. to them, it's just another body so seeing it naked or just
> grabbing at it is no big deal. but to me, i just want to crawl up and die.
>
> i have to go to the gynecologist. i'm 26 and have never been. and have
> recently become sexually active for the first time since i was a teenager. i
> was ok with just using condoms then, but i was stupid then and now i want a
> little more assurance.
>
> the thought of going though, of letting someone i don't know violate me, puts
> me into hysterics. i've read up on what happens during the exam, but it says
> you have to relax and for me, that's not possible. any ideas?
>
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