Hi everyone, I'm new here, but not new to the problem of fearing
anything medical or dental. I only go when I have to and then I'm so
scared I shake, can't talk in more than a whisper, and become so
upset I make myself physically sick.
Recently, I had been complaining about my mouth hurting to my
boyfriend and told him that I had a new tooth back there. After me
being in pain for a couple weeks, he took my healthcare card and made
an appointment for me. We ended up spending nearly 4 hours at the
dentists and the oral surgens that day. It was decided I had to have
my wisdom teeth out and right away. The surgery was scheduled for the
next morning. My boyfriend stayed the night with me and poor thing
got no sleep either because I was shaking and crying all night
feeling sick to my stomach and cold all out of fear.
When we went in in the morning, which I must say I don't know how
Mathew got me out of my apartmnet, they dragged me away from him. I
was horrible. I need him holding on to me. It was the worst
experience since the surguries when I was little.
That was on the 9th and I'm still in pain and it is getting worse and
I'm almost out of pain pills and my classes at the university start
on tuesday.There is exposed bone and nerve in the socket and
everything I've read online tells me I HAVE to go back, but I don't
even have the curage to call the place and talk to them about it.
My boyfriend is very understanding and has been helping me so far,
but we talked about a week ago before he drug me in for the follow up
visit and he needs me to be better. He tried to get me to call the
office then and I couldn't do it. I just sat there crying and
shaking. I'm tired of being a burdon to Mathew, but I just can't
handle this. He wanted me to call because he thought that that was
a 'baby' enough step for me to take.
I get so upset about being touched and violated, it took him months
of dating me to be able to kiss me. Baby steps would be like letting
him feel my neck in any way other that his normal kissing way. Even
him just resting his head on my chest where I knew he could hear my
heart beat still kindof bugs me. And since my mouth has been such a
problem lately, he has wanted to see in there. The first time he was
standing there holding the flashlight I was so scared I'm amaised my
mouth even opened.
I love Mathew so much. I want to be better for me and so I am a
better person for him. What can I do? I'm already feeling sick just
at the thought that one of us will have to call the place tomorrow.