Namaste and hi Swami-g,

Last night I was reading gangaji's new book. I've read those
words: "Right now, close your eyes. See yourself as a child..." I
couldn't even finish the sentence. I knew I needed to do that right
away. I closed my eyes and see myself as a child. I was 7 years old.
It was the day of the dance resital. Than I've seen myself as a teen.
Than as a young woman. I've realized something never changed. It was
my being. And the mind was quite for a while.

I've shut the light and tried to sleep but my mind started. "What was
that?". Than it tried to desciribed what happened. "It was like a
empty television screen", "You think it is indiscrible but it
was "empty" and empty is a description", "Where was it?", "It felt like
it is somewhere behind the eyes", "Maybe I cannot explain it with words
but I can make a picture of it", "Say this empty screen is the middle
of a flower. You can draw different kinds of flowers but they are
actually the same", "If this is it you can say it is like having a
piece of steal bread when waiting for a feast in a palace. But the
thing is you don't feel hungry anymore."

I still didn't finish the sentence in the book. The desire to search,
read, learn is gone.

jaya